Ask HN: Life advice for 25yo Web Dev, single, no debt, $30k/£20k savings
71 コメント
Do something that has nothing to do with any of this.
True story from my first week an university. I was a typical bright, nerdy guy away from home for the first significant amount of time. I decided that I had to do _something_ to force me to not stay in my room and it had to be something that was going to get me to meet people unlike me.
So I looked around and went for something well outside my comfort zone: ballroom dancing. I had no idea how to dance at all, but you can learn to dance and you dance with women. Also, all the other people there were in a similar situation (some had danced before) but most were doing it to try something new.
I don't know what's going to work for you, but there's something out there.
True story from my first week an university. I was a typical bright, nerdy guy away from home for the first significant amount of time. I decided that I had to do _something_ to force me to not stay in my room and it had to be something that was going to get me to meet people unlike me.
So I looked around and went for something well outside my comfort zone: ballroom dancing. I had no idea how to dance at all, but you can learn to dance and you dance with women. Also, all the other people there were in a similar situation (some had danced before) but most were doing it to try something new.
I don't know what's going to work for you, but there's something out there.
"Do something that has nothing to do with any of this."
This is actually some of the best advice I've heard in a while. Never thought it would come from HN. Thanks.
This is actually some of the best advice I've heard in a while. Never thought it would come from HN. Thanks.
You're welcome.
The other piece of advice I'd give is: "Do things that scare you but where you can overcome that fear". I, at least, find that I have great satisfaction from that.
The other piece of advice I'd give is: "Do things that scare you but where you can overcome that fear". I, at least, find that I have great satisfaction from that.
I spent a lot of time hanging out at a salsa dancing club. It was a great way to 1) do something not nerdy 2) meet a lot of women, and 3) get a small sense of what said women are like in short order. You can tell a lot about someone by how they dance and react and behave. I also found it fun. Also, it's enough of an acquired skill that not just anyone can walk in and be good right away, but not so hard that you have to spend years getting any good.
Not sure I agree with the last part - it took me 2 years of weekly salsa lessons to get comfortable on a dancefloor
Having said that, I can't recommend dancing highly enough, it's added an enormous amount of joy to my life. Programming scratches an intellectual kind of itch for me, but dancing scratches a much deeper one
Having said that, I can't recommend dancing highly enough, it's added an enormous amount of joy to my life. Programming scratches an intellectual kind of itch for me, but dancing scratches a much deeper one
Depends on the kind of place you frequent. The one I went to was perfect in that some people there were very good, but most were average, and people were there to have fun and meet others, not to show off, mostly.
...and get enough exercise, which helps with all of the health thngs!
Unfortunately, I tried something similar and failed miserably. I have zero sense of rhythm, and have also been unable to acquire one. I feel much the same way about dancing as Stephen Fry: http://shrik.theswamp.in/2012/09/stephen-fry-on-dancing.html
I'll concur with this on most levels. The change I made was from a slightly different place: boxing. I joined a school that did BJJ and Muay Thai.
It worked out beautifully. After staring at a screen and sitting down for 8-10 hours, I could spend an hour or two getting the shit kicked out of me. Since I lived in the city and was traveling against traffic, it had a chance to die down while I was working out. Aside from the endorphin rush that accompanied the workout and the physical changes that accompanied struggling to the point of immobility 3x/wk, I got a nice confidence boost which stayed with me through most of the job interviews that followed after I relocated. It was like all the panic and nervousness of the week got expelled in the span of six hours. For six months after I stopped (moved across the country for grad school) I could sit through job interviews thinking, "There is nothing this person can do to me physically, mentally, or socially which I cannot handle. This person has no power over me. I am in control. I am the authority."
I might try ballroom dancing when I have the time again, as I think it's more practical from a social perspective than fightin'. (Seriously. The knowledge and confidence to dance wins 10/10 in social scenarios.) Still, try both!
It worked out beautifully. After staring at a screen and sitting down for 8-10 hours, I could spend an hour or two getting the shit kicked out of me. Since I lived in the city and was traveling against traffic, it had a chance to die down while I was working out. Aside from the endorphin rush that accompanied the workout and the physical changes that accompanied struggling to the point of immobility 3x/wk, I got a nice confidence boost which stayed with me through most of the job interviews that followed after I relocated. It was like all the panic and nervousness of the week got expelled in the span of six hours. For six months after I stopped (moved across the country for grad school) I could sit through job interviews thinking, "There is nothing this person can do to me physically, mentally, or socially which I cannot handle. This person has no power over me. I am in control. I am the authority."
I might try ballroom dancing when I have the time again, as I think it's more practical from a social perspective than fightin'. (Seriously. The knowledge and confidence to dance wins 10/10 in social scenarios.) Still, try both!
Absolutely lovely advice!
For me, it was tennis. I started playing and fell in love with it. It all began when I was working from home for a startup in another country. I would work and in the evenings, I would quietly slip out to the courts, play for two to three hours, and return back to work. Tennis is an amazing sport, if you play it passionately and properly, and only just for fun. Once I got better, I began looking for local tennis circuits. The coach I used to play with put in my name at a local tennis tourney. It was the first tourney I ever played. And I was jubilated, not only at being able to play a properly arranged tourney, but at realising that what I previously thought that there were hardly any good players around locally was totally wrong. There were many talented players, of all ages, who were just as passionate about tennis.
I fell so much in love with tennis that it became the only thing I was passionate about in life. I dearly looked forward to slipping out of work to playing tennis. I participated in more and more tourneys, and even though I lost, if it was a good match, I felt extremely satisfied.
Last year, I quit my work from home job (which last 4.5 years), mostly because I felt I wasn't getting anywhere working from home. I joined a local startup not too far from where I lived which was working on things I loved. Along with it, I switched tennis clubs and joined a professional tennis club where top-notch players coached and played and where I could find many a good player to play with.
All in all, I think that the advice, "do something that has nothing to do with any of this", is really something you ought to try.
For me, it was tennis. I started playing and fell in love with it. It all began when I was working from home for a startup in another country. I would work and in the evenings, I would quietly slip out to the courts, play for two to three hours, and return back to work. Tennis is an amazing sport, if you play it passionately and properly, and only just for fun. Once I got better, I began looking for local tennis circuits. The coach I used to play with put in my name at a local tennis tourney. It was the first tourney I ever played. And I was jubilated, not only at being able to play a properly arranged tourney, but at realising that what I previously thought that there were hardly any good players around locally was totally wrong. There were many talented players, of all ages, who were just as passionate about tennis.
I fell so much in love with tennis that it became the only thing I was passionate about in life. I dearly looked forward to slipping out of work to playing tennis. I participated in more and more tourneys, and even though I lost, if it was a good match, I felt extremely satisfied.
Last year, I quit my work from home job (which last 4.5 years), mostly because I felt I wasn't getting anywhere working from home. I joined a local startup not too far from where I lived which was working on things I loved. Along with it, I switched tennis clubs and joined a professional tennis club where top-notch players coached and played and where I could find many a good player to play with.
All in all, I think that the advice, "do something that has nothing to do with any of this", is really something you ought to try.
It's not too late to have your "party days". I am 28, I have 2 children, a mortgage and a full time job (as well as freelancing on the side). At the beginning of May I ended my 12 year relationship (manipulative, emotionally abusive ex) and jumped head first into a proper social life for the first time EVER. If I can do this whilst juggling being a lone parent / working 2 jobs / etc you have no excuses. :)
So go out to bars and have fun (who says you have to go with friends?!), date more, travel, take a class, swim in the ocean, jump from a plane, write a bucket list and do it all! Whatever, just make sure you seize life and get on with it.
Oh, but before you do all that, let me know how you manage to make enough to cover your bills in 8 hours so that I can jack in the full time job and spend more time with my kids ;)
So go out to bars and have fun (who says you have to go with friends?!), date more, travel, take a class, swim in the ocean, jump from a plane, write a bucket list and do it all! Whatever, just make sure you seize life and get on with it.
Oh, but before you do all that, let me know how you manage to make enough to cover your bills in 8 hours so that I can jack in the full time job and spend more time with my kids ;)
Also, meetups. Meetups are awesome both for meeting new people AND doing something fun while at it.
You can never go wrong with travel. It will expand your mind, take you out of your comfort zone, and change you as a person.
I like to travel slow. At least one month in each place. That gives me enough time to rent a place for a month, with is cheaper, and to really get to know some people.
Don't bother doing freelancing until you have to. But if there's a side project that you'd like to work on, do work on that!
I've been spending 3 months in Cape Verde, loving it. After that don't know where i'm going. Indonesia maybe?
Travel travel travel, travel as much as you can! :)
I like to travel slow. At least one month in each place. That gives me enough time to rent a place for a month, with is cheaper, and to really get to know some people.
Don't bother doing freelancing until you have to. But if there's a side project that you'd like to work on, do work on that!
I've been spending 3 months in Cape Verde, loving it. After that don't know where i'm going. Indonesia maybe?
Travel travel travel, travel as much as you can! :)
+1
I've been doing this since October & loving every minute. I still work full-time (remotely) as I don't have savings, but just being in new places has really changed my outlook & actually made me more excited/focused on the work I'm doing.
I freelanced for a bit via sites like We Work Remotely, then I found a full-time, remote role. I earn a SFBA market wage too, which actually means I am saving more being in countries with a much lower cost-of-living, than Sydney (where I was from) or SFBA itself.
I've been doing this since October & loving every minute. I still work full-time (remotely) as I don't have savings, but just being in new places has really changed my outlook & actually made me more excited/focused on the work I'm doing.
I freelanced for a bit via sites like We Work Remotely, then I found a full-time, remote role. I earn a SFBA market wage too, which actually means I am saving more being in countries with a much lower cost-of-living, than Sydney (where I was from) or SFBA itself.
How do you financially support yourself?
Use couchsurfing and go travel. It's free, but you also get to meet some amazing people.
Try online dating. Tinder/okcupid. Meet some younger girls who still like to go out and party.
Take up active hobbies that force you to be around other people. Yoga, indoor rock climbing, dancing is another good one.
Try meetup.com to meet new friends and activity partners.
If you have the freedom to travel, why are you staying in your apartment!? You can settle down when you're old and grey. Get out and explore the world.
Try online dating. Tinder/okcupid. Meet some younger girls who still like to go out and party.
Take up active hobbies that force you to be around other people. Yoga, indoor rock climbing, dancing is another good one.
Try meetup.com to meet new friends and activity partners.
If you have the freedom to travel, why are you staying in your apartment!? You can settle down when you're old and grey. Get out and explore the world.
This. Is good advice. Take it from a grey guy.
What would YOU do?
Stop thinking about myself and start thinking about others.
Find someone who needs help. Help them. Repeat.
Before you know it, instances will become classes and you'll have more important things to do than you could have ever imagined.
And a real nice byproduct will be that you will have addressed your original issue far better than you could have by focusing on yourself.
Stop thinking about myself and start thinking about others.
Find someone who needs help. Help them. Repeat.
Before you know it, instances will become classes and you'll have more important things to do than you could have ever imagined.
And a real nice byproduct will be that you will have addressed your original issue far better than you could have by focusing on yourself.
greatest comment ever
Generation X and Y had a easy childhood and learnt to be egocentric and only think about themselves. Even philanthropic initiatives are only masks to feed their ego and personal development. Ex: voluntourism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volunteer_travel
Disclaimer: I'm in the frontier between these two generations. I was taught to be like this.
I wish I wish I could be like you advise. I can listen my father words in your words. By the way I read your book, great ideas there.
Disclaimer: I'm in the frontier between these two generations. I was taught to be like this.
I wish I wish I could be like you advise. I can listen my father words in your words. By the way I read your book, great ideas there.
I'm 32, and last week I got a puppy. She is adorable and I love her dearly, but now my free time has been completely wiped out (don't worry, it'll come back eventually). During this week I've had a lot of time to reflect on what I liked doing, what I should have been doing, and what I was doing. I think if you want inspiration for how to spend your time, try doing something for a week that completely eliminates it. Try fostering a puppy! After 3 sleepless days you'll have elaborate fantasies of how you could have spent all that freedom.
I'm totally not projecting, I swear! ;)
I'm totally not projecting, I swear! ;)
Get outside your comfort zone and disconnect yourself from the tech world.
I was in a similar situation, except I did not have that much money at the time. My wife and I sold everything that we have, bought a caravan and a car to tow it. Travel the east cost of Australia. Did jobs like cucumber picking, laboring for house building, fishing at the local beach for our daily meals etc. It was tough going with my wife as we learn about each other that we did not know before (the situation forces it). At the end my wife and I were closer, and we were much more rounder as a person.
I was in a similar situation, except I did not have that much money at the time. My wife and I sold everything that we have, bought a caravan and a car to tow it. Travel the east cost of Australia. Did jobs like cucumber picking, laboring for house building, fishing at the local beach for our daily meals etc. It was tough going with my wife as we learn about each other that we did not know before (the situation forces it). At the end my wife and I were closer, and we were much more rounder as a person.
At 25 I would already have blown all my savings on basically not working partying and traveling. Actually that's pretty much what I did..
But I crafted that lifestyle for myself specifically after having a pretty lonely miserable time living in my home city. Shortly after school I was in a sort of similar situation living alone, working in tech, not making new friends, spending weekends with family, not meeting girls etc. I knew some friends who moved to LA, so I disposed of everything I owned and moved out there. I completely stepped out of my comfort zone and lived with a bunch of guys in a fratty situation in Hollywood as it was becoming colonized by hipsters. New friends, parties, women all this stuff I was isolated from back home just became my lifestyle all of a sudden. I bounced around road tripping, went to Hong Kong randomly. Its something that really changed the tempo of my life in a way I would never pass up.
I probably set myself back a lot financially and career-wise. I lived in the bay area for a time, I got bored and moved back to LA to party. I turned down tons of business opportunities. Do I regret it? Not really. I'm not rich today at all but I met my wife during that time, all of my best friends. I learned how to balance freelance and life so I have ample free time while still paying the bills.
So basically do something that makes you happy. Get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in the places you'll have the opportunity to make the most out of socially. Reinvent yourself. Its worth it.
Just don't blow all your money.
But I crafted that lifestyle for myself specifically after having a pretty lonely miserable time living in my home city. Shortly after school I was in a sort of similar situation living alone, working in tech, not making new friends, spending weekends with family, not meeting girls etc. I knew some friends who moved to LA, so I disposed of everything I owned and moved out there. I completely stepped out of my comfort zone and lived with a bunch of guys in a fratty situation in Hollywood as it was becoming colonized by hipsters. New friends, parties, women all this stuff I was isolated from back home just became my lifestyle all of a sudden. I bounced around road tripping, went to Hong Kong randomly. Its something that really changed the tempo of my life in a way I would never pass up.
I probably set myself back a lot financially and career-wise. I lived in the bay area for a time, I got bored and moved back to LA to party. I turned down tons of business opportunities. Do I regret it? Not really. I'm not rich today at all but I met my wife during that time, all of my best friends. I learned how to balance freelance and life so I have ample free time while still paying the bills.
So basically do something that makes you happy. Get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in the places you'll have the opportunity to make the most out of socially. Reinvent yourself. Its worth it.
Just don't blow all your money.
Go travel the world while freelancing before you get in another serious relationship. You only live once and a whole world is out there you haven't even experienced.
If you goto backpacker destinations you'll meet tons of people your age, from all over the world, looking to go on adventures and have fun. Most of these places are relatively cheap compared to the UK/US, have existing communities of freelancers and you get to experience another culture/way of life.
For the last 1.5 years I've been living in Thailand doing freelance work. The quality of life, people I've met and life experiences far outweight even my best years back home. I'm 30 now and I look back and wish I would have made the leap to go abroad at 25.
The other big benefit is that you can save a lot of money with little effort. I try to not work more than 4 hours a day and still save more money than when I was working full time in the US. Plus the lifestyle I can live in Thailand is amazing in comparison to the US. 1 monthof living frugally back home (Seattle) is what I would spend living it up for 3-4 months in Thailand.
If you goto backpacker destinations you'll meet tons of people your age, from all over the world, looking to go on adventures and have fun. Most of these places are relatively cheap compared to the UK/US, have existing communities of freelancers and you get to experience another culture/way of life.
For the last 1.5 years I've been living in Thailand doing freelance work. The quality of life, people I've met and life experiences far outweight even my best years back home. I'm 30 now and I look back and wish I would have made the leap to go abroad at 25.
The other big benefit is that you can save a lot of money with little effort. I try to not work more than 4 hours a day and still save more money than when I was working full time in the US. Plus the lifestyle I can live in Thailand is amazing in comparison to the US. 1 monthof living frugally back home (Seattle) is what I would spend living it up for 3-4 months in Thailand.
I found expat community in Bangkok shady. Whereabouts are you based?
> What would YOU do?
First of all, relax! you are only 25 you have all your life in front of you. The best years in your life are about to come.
In your case I will travel for a couple of months on your own. Go to asia, south america... you'll have a lot of new experiences and get to meet some people.
Also you can practice an sport or get a new hobby like playing an instrument, you have a lot of free time and you'll meet new people.
First of all, relax! you are only 25 you have all your life in front of you. The best years in your life are about to come.
In your case I will travel for a couple of months on your own. Go to asia, south america... you'll have a lot of new experiences and get to meet some people.
Also you can practice an sport or get a new hobby like playing an instrument, you have a lot of free time and you'll meet new people.
What would I do? Well, at your age I was a tech geek climbing the learning curve, albeit sans your entrepreneurial skills, but for what it's worth....
I moved away from the big city to a small New England seacoast town and commuted to my technology job. It was an artist/writer colony and I began to meet all sorts of creative types, cranky traditional New Englanders, fishermen, artisans, and like minded others seeking alternatives to the big city.
I started going to local folk dances, I joined the local community chorus and sang with them for a year. I took modern dance and ballet classes. The dancing led me to dust off my rusty musical instruments and start jamming with friends, which led to playing music in folk dance bands, and my social life just expanded unbelievably.
Ultimately I met my life partner as well as many other friends in this community, and we now have a child who's growing up in that community as well, taking her to Scottish dances and square dances and the like, a very wholesome community for children versus the typical TV culture that I myself grew up in. By the way, I recommend raising children; it's the most challenging, satisfying, crazy, and rewarding project I've ever been involved in!
I often recommend that guys in a guys' world like technology and engineering try folk dancing or other "soft" arts that tend to attract women and cool other guys.
If you're not into dancing or such things, that's cool, and there are myriad other activities out there. Our modern civilization may have its share of problems but it also offers rich cultural opportunities that are distressingly under utilized by many young people.
Whatever you choose to do, enjoy life and know that you have many decades ahead of you to explore the world and raise a family if your path takes you in that direction. Best of luck and stay healthy!
I moved away from the big city to a small New England seacoast town and commuted to my technology job. It was an artist/writer colony and I began to meet all sorts of creative types, cranky traditional New Englanders, fishermen, artisans, and like minded others seeking alternatives to the big city.
I started going to local folk dances, I joined the local community chorus and sang with them for a year. I took modern dance and ballet classes. The dancing led me to dust off my rusty musical instruments and start jamming with friends, which led to playing music in folk dance bands, and my social life just expanded unbelievably.
Ultimately I met my life partner as well as many other friends in this community, and we now have a child who's growing up in that community as well, taking her to Scottish dances and square dances and the like, a very wholesome community for children versus the typical TV culture that I myself grew up in. By the way, I recommend raising children; it's the most challenging, satisfying, crazy, and rewarding project I've ever been involved in!
I often recommend that guys in a guys' world like technology and engineering try folk dancing or other "soft" arts that tend to attract women and cool other guys.
If you're not into dancing or such things, that's cool, and there are myriad other activities out there. Our modern civilization may have its share of problems but it also offers rich cultural opportunities that are distressingly under utilized by many young people.
Whatever you choose to do, enjoy life and know that you have many decades ahead of you to explore the world and raise a family if your path takes you in that direction. Best of luck and stay healthy!
Oxford University offer an MSc in Software Engineering. It's meant to be part-time over 4 years, but occasionally people come in and decide to blitz the whole thing while being a fulltime student - you could take 1 - 4 years over it, depending on how hard you want to work, and how much fun you want to have. You don't need an undergrad degree if you have strong experience. Expect it to cost £25,000 in total. You will be a full member of the university, with student card, and membership of a college with an active social life in a city with two large universities. You'll end up with a degree, which will make working abroad much easier in the future, relive the student days you never had, and learn a bunch of interesting stuff.
Alternatively, upsticks and move to Bangkok. You'll find it easy to make friends.
I've done both, so feel free to email me (in profile) with questions about either.
Alternatively, upsticks and move to Bangkok. You'll find it easy to make friends.
I've done both, so feel free to email me (in profile) with questions about either.
Travel and while you are doing it learn to scuba dive. I could barely put my head in the water without panicking when I started. There is something magical about floating and you can see down 25-40 meters below you. For example a night dive around a ship wreck or seeing all kinds of mind blowing under water wildlife!
I suppose in a non-self help way life is about living a bit outside of your comfort zone... so what are you scared of? Do that.
Make certain that the flight is one way and that you aren't just dipping your toe in like I did at the start of the year. You need to be able to flow while you are travelling (having to deal with a flat or stuff that's not tied up back home is shit) and it's really easy to meet people if you can book a highly rated hostel room. "Hello" works.
I think I've just given myself the bug again, why is it so grey outside on July 11!
I suppose in a non-self help way life is about living a bit outside of your comfort zone... so what are you scared of? Do that.
Make certain that the flight is one way and that you aren't just dipping your toe in like I did at the start of the year. You need to be able to flow while you are travelling (having to deal with a flat or stuff that's not tied up back home is shit) and it's really easy to meet people if you can book a highly rated hostel room. "Hello" works.
I think I've just given myself the bug again, why is it so grey outside on July 11!
>> "Make certain that the flight is one way"
Be careful with this. I had to book a one way flight once but it actually worked out more expensive than booking a return. So sometimes it might just be cheaper to book the return and not use the return trip.
Be careful with this. I had to book a one way flight once but it actually worked out more expensive than booking a return. So sometimes it might just be cheaper to book the return and not use the return trip.
One thing I'd say is, if you're going to go travelling don't label yourself as a hacker or entrepreneur or freelancer.
Don't prepare your intro story. "Hey, I'm Steve and I've just decided to go travelling but I'm a hacker and I had this startup and then I freelanced..." etc. Just say, "Hey, I'm Steve. Nice to meet you." The rest can come out naturally! It's good to meet people from all walks of life and by preparing all this backstory you might overwhelm people or become a caricature of yourself.
Oh, and if you do go travelling, and need someone to take over your freelance work - please get in touch. I'm basically the same as you but 26 and not single, not planning to pack it up and take a break just yet.
Good luck.
EDIT: And hey if you wanna get a beer some time with someone new lemme know, I live in London too.
Don't prepare your intro story. "Hey, I'm Steve and I've just decided to go travelling but I'm a hacker and I had this startup and then I freelanced..." etc. Just say, "Hey, I'm Steve. Nice to meet you." The rest can come out naturally! It's good to meet people from all walks of life and by preparing all this backstory you might overwhelm people or become a caricature of yourself.
Oh, and if you do go travelling, and need someone to take over your freelance work - please get in touch. I'm basically the same as you but 26 and not single, not planning to pack it up and take a break just yet.
Good luck.
EDIT: And hey if you wanna get a beer some time with someone new lemme know, I live in London too.
introducing yourself using the MIT-definition of hacker is a huge mistake anyways because they'll ask you how you hack computers or something; which will lead to you having to explain the difference between the classic hacker and the MIT hacker - for 99% of people this is the most boring topic ever
Travel.
The best age to travel is now. I had a similar amount of money due to redundancy so went and backpacked up the East coast of Australia for 4 months, sometimes on my own, and sometimes as part of organised coach tours and it was probably the 4 most important months of my life because it opened my eyes to work-life balance after being on autopilot on the school-college-uni-job route.
So put your flat stuff in storage, get a backpack and visit:
Hong Kong (because it shows you what life is like if you live to work, and you can pick up a decent SLR and lens dirt cheap there)
Vietnam (because its amazing)
Cuba (before it changes)
I can recommend Sydney for NYE; warm, strangers sharing beer and BBQ food and becoming friends. Great people.
If no one wants to go with you then use organised backpacker coach tours where needed, and you'll meet people and will make friends easily as everyone is in the same situation.
The best age to travel is now. I had a similar amount of money due to redundancy so went and backpacked up the East coast of Australia for 4 months, sometimes on my own, and sometimes as part of organised coach tours and it was probably the 4 most important months of my life because it opened my eyes to work-life balance after being on autopilot on the school-college-uni-job route.
So put your flat stuff in storage, get a backpack and visit:
Hong Kong (because it shows you what life is like if you live to work, and you can pick up a decent SLR and lens dirt cheap there)
Vietnam (because its amazing)
Cuba (before it changes)
I can recommend Sydney for NYE; warm, strangers sharing beer and BBQ food and becoming friends. Great people.
If no one wants to go with you then use organised backpacker coach tours where needed, and you'll meet people and will make friends easily as everyone is in the same situation.
All that travel advice. Sure, take it. Travel. I didn't travel a lot, 2 times 1 month with my (now) wife (Thailand/Vietnam) and some weeks pasted onto the back of conferences in the US (New Orleans/Boston/parts of California) during my PhD. I live in the Netherlands.
I also want to bring in that many of my friends/colleagues are starting serious relationships later and later in life. Some have children at the age of 38. Some find out they have a lot of trouble having children. They become very unhappy.
I wonder how many more people choose like me: Settle down with a woman you look up to, travel, yes but don't wait to long. Have kids, it is impossible to imagine the joy they bring when you don't have them.
When your kids leave the house, your are mid-fities and a lot more wealthy. I plan to take my kids around the world when they are up to it. In Thailand I met a lot of families with kids in the 6-12 range. They have a great time sitting on elephants and swimming with dolphins for a couple of dollars.
That said, nothing wrong with a bit of travel while you are still young, you might even meet your s/o along the way.
I feel a bit of regret reading all these comments, I might have traveled more knowing what I know now. But I also have to admit I feel quite some anxiety when I feel a taxi driver is going to screw me over. This will happen a lot. You have to be the kind of guy that can stand up for himself. Not too social at certain moments I'd say. Perhaps this is also what you learn when traveling longer.
I feel I should have traveled more. Not because I feel this constantly but after reading all this... But then, thinking of the travel I did, I was always happy to come home again.
Pff, trying to justify life choices because of your post while I should be working.
Better to regret things you did than things you didn't?
If you walk the footsteps of a stranger you'll learn the things you never knew you never knew.
I also want to bring in that many of my friends/colleagues are starting serious relationships later and later in life. Some have children at the age of 38. Some find out they have a lot of trouble having children. They become very unhappy.
I wonder how many more people choose like me: Settle down with a woman you look up to, travel, yes but don't wait to long. Have kids, it is impossible to imagine the joy they bring when you don't have them.
When your kids leave the house, your are mid-fities and a lot more wealthy. I plan to take my kids around the world when they are up to it. In Thailand I met a lot of families with kids in the 6-12 range. They have a great time sitting on elephants and swimming with dolphins for a couple of dollars.
That said, nothing wrong with a bit of travel while you are still young, you might even meet your s/o along the way.
I feel a bit of regret reading all these comments, I might have traveled more knowing what I know now. But I also have to admit I feel quite some anxiety when I feel a taxi driver is going to screw me over. This will happen a lot. You have to be the kind of guy that can stand up for himself. Not too social at certain moments I'd say. Perhaps this is also what you learn when traveling longer.
I feel I should have traveled more. Not because I feel this constantly but after reading all this... But then, thinking of the travel I did, I was always happy to come home again.
Pff, trying to justify life choices because of your post while I should be working.
Better to regret things you did than things you didn't?
If you walk the footsteps of a stranger you'll learn the things you never knew you never knew.
> But I also have to admit I feel quite some anxiety when I feel a taxi driver is going to screw me over. This will happen a lot. You have to be the kind of guy that can stand up for himself. Not too social at certain moments I'd say. Perhaps this is also what you learn when traveling longer.
So many times, this. I have that exact same feeling when I travel. Big, unfamiliar, cities make me really anxious. Between making travel arrangements, because I don't want to get stuck in a place that ends up being a total dump, or even making plans on what to do with my time when I reach my destination, and interacting with the local "vendors (taxi drivers, tourist-popular places, street vendors, etc).
It takes me a few days in a new place before I can get acclimated and familiar with an area before I can start to relax and enjoy myself.
I, admittedly, haven't traveled a lot and I have only been outside the US on one occasion, but even inside the US I get anxious. I get so worked up over making sure every experience is worth while, sometimes it's easy to forget that the experience, good or bad, is part of the journey and what probably makes traveling so great.
I assume it gets better with practice, and it certainly falls into the category of "Do what makes you uncomfortable."
So many times, this. I have that exact same feeling when I travel. Big, unfamiliar, cities make me really anxious. Between making travel arrangements, because I don't want to get stuck in a place that ends up being a total dump, or even making plans on what to do with my time when I reach my destination, and interacting with the local "vendors (taxi drivers, tourist-popular places, street vendors, etc).
It takes me a few days in a new place before I can get acclimated and familiar with an area before I can start to relax and enjoy myself.
I, admittedly, haven't traveled a lot and I have only been outside the US on one occasion, but even inside the US I get anxious. I get so worked up over making sure every experience is worth while, sometimes it's easy to forget that the experience, good or bad, is part of the journey and what probably makes traveling so great.
I assume it gets better with practice, and it certainly falls into the category of "Do what makes you uncomfortable."
I'm hesitant to share, but it's my actual answer to what I would do:
Go to church, whatever your religious affiliation. My church has great, fun programs for exactly your age. It's where I met my wife and made a lot of great friends.
Go to church, whatever your religious affiliation. My church has great, fun programs for exactly your age. It's where I met my wife and made a lot of great friends.
When I was 25 I moved to London to work in another country, meet new people, have adventures ... live life. Prior to that, I was in a similar position to yourself. This was the best time of my life, and I'm glad I did it at that age. Most people wait until their midlife crisis to do those things, where it damages, or destroys, the commitments they have made.
Travelling is one of the most educational, rewarding experiences you can possibly have.
I would stash my earnings away into an investment, travel the world freelancing with my expertise, discovering new and amazing realities with which to live life.
P.S that's what I'm doing now, 20 odd years later. again.
Travelling is one of the most educational, rewarding experiences you can possibly have.
I would stash my earnings away into an investment, travel the world freelancing with my expertise, discovering new and amazing realities with which to live life.
P.S that's what I'm doing now, 20 odd years later. again.
Sorry, can't help you, I haven't figured it out for myself either. A decade older, working remotely, with more savings than I know what to do with, 1-2 friends I see once in while, single, few interests or desires to speak of. All I know is that the usual suggestions here and elsewhere (travelling, dance lessons, partying, etc) don't do much if anything for me. I do get a feeling of "missing out" every now and then but it's more like "missing out whatever brain hardware/software motivates regular people enjoy things that leave me indifferent", not the remorse kind of missing out.
25 yo developer (Full stack dev), single, no debt, $15k savings. Here is what I am not going to do:
- Travel
- Have fun
- Meet new people
- Get out of my comfort zone.
Instead, I am going to quit my job and research artificial intelligence full time: coursera, hacking on personal projects and hackerspaces. (And at least 1 hour of sport everyday for social/health). When my savings are blown, I'll try to get a job at numenta or vicarious. If this fails, go back to devweb for a few years, and repeat.
To all the people suggesting having fun and travelling: http://lesswrong.com/lw/jl3/on_saving_the_world/
- Travel
- Have fun
- Meet new people
- Get out of my comfort zone.
Instead, I am going to quit my job and research artificial intelligence full time: coursera, hacking on personal projects and hackerspaces. (And at least 1 hour of sport everyday for social/health). When my savings are blown, I'll try to get a job at numenta or vicarious. If this fails, go back to devweb for a few years, and repeat.
To all the people suggesting having fun and travelling: http://lesswrong.com/lw/jl3/on_saving_the_world/
Wow, are you serious about this?
This is pretty much what I did (am doing right now).
Hi, I am in a very similar situation, located in A'dam, The Netherlands, but I actually traveled a lot is one of my passions and nowadays still go clubbing.
You are in London, the best place for clubbing and a very nice base for traveling since most of the low cost flights are from and to London.
Check out Hospitality parties from Hospital Records, they come often to A'dam, also parties from RAM Records, Shogun Audio, Jungle Mania, Innovation, and others I am forgetting, this of course if you are into jungle music and drum and bass :-P
Do what you love, be original, don't worry about others trolling and be happy as you seen to be.
BIG UP !!
You are in London, the best place for clubbing and a very nice base for traveling since most of the low cost flights are from and to London.
Check out Hospitality parties from Hospital Records, they come often to A'dam, also parties from RAM Records, Shogun Audio, Jungle Mania, Innovation, and others I am forgetting, this of course if you are into jungle music and drum and bass :-P
Do what you love, be original, don't worry about others trolling and be happy as you seen to be.
BIG UP !!
Big up fellow drum and bass listener! I go to most drum and bass gigs in London on my own (none of my friends are into it) and always have a fantastic time and come out with a massive smile.
Big man, I drop by London once in a while if there is a massive event as well, as the WEAREFSTVL2014 for instance, here in A'dam there are plenty of GIGS and I am always there, first to get in, with my wife, or by myself if necessary. BIG UP indeed.
did I mention travel and be original? :-P
did I mention travel and be original? :-P
Are you in London? (£1500 p/m for rent and bills sounds like London to me!) There's no shortage of things to do, Meetups, groups, societies, and places to go.
You're young. So young. Don't worry about your friends not wanting to go out so much -- find new ones who do, and who are willing to take you out to bars and clubs to show you the ropes of chatting up strangers, if that's your thing.
That said, were I in your position, I'd be tempted to do the 'freelance around the world' thing. I can put you in touch with someone who's doing exactly that if you like.
You're young. So young. Don't worry about your friends not wanting to go out so much -- find new ones who do, and who are willing to take you out to bars and clubs to show you the ropes of chatting up strangers, if that's your thing.
That said, were I in your position, I'd be tempted to do the 'freelance around the world' thing. I can put you in touch with someone who's doing exactly that if you like.
I would like to travel and freelance around the world. The thing is i don't know is it sustainable model. I read this thread and think to myself how envious I am. Does freelancing mean working at odesk and such sites or what?
When I was 26yo I freelanced while traveling. I had a blast, but if I could change one thing, I would have saved money (or created passive income streams) to travel for a year without having to freelance. Why? Because you can have more fun and adventure if you're flexible with your time and if you have minimal responsibilities. Staying out until 6 AM in a Brazilian disco with 10 new friends that you've just met is a lot more fun if you don't have to be on your laptop three hours later to write code for a company in a different timezone.
Try everything. Add variety to your routine. Ask yourself what you're passionate about or interested in, and get some good books on the subject. Expand your understanding of the things you care about.
You might be interested in splitting your time between a long-term investment and several short-term investments. One example would be buying a house (10-30 year investment) and at the same time developing a bunch of life skills (1-6 month investments). Or travel the world for five years and work on small projects... Mix the things you want to do, don't just settle for one thing :)
In order to meet people, make friends, lovers/partners, and do fun exciting things, you have to spread out into the world and discover/try new things you wouldn't have thought of yourself as being involved in. The one constant I find is that the people I enjoy the most I encountered by accident whilst meandering the random occurrences of meeting new people and trying new things, without any expectations.
Also consider that you're only 25, and than in 5 years you will be a different person, and in 10 years, and 15, etc. It actually doesn't matter what you do, because some aspect of you will evolve over time and your plans will change, which is normal. (For example, five years ago I wouldn't have told you that i'd become a cook or a trapeze artist, or have a long-distance relationship... but people change!)
You might be interested in splitting your time between a long-term investment and several short-term investments. One example would be buying a house (10-30 year investment) and at the same time developing a bunch of life skills (1-6 month investments). Or travel the world for five years and work on small projects... Mix the things you want to do, don't just settle for one thing :)
In order to meet people, make friends, lovers/partners, and do fun exciting things, you have to spread out into the world and discover/try new things you wouldn't have thought of yourself as being involved in. The one constant I find is that the people I enjoy the most I encountered by accident whilst meandering the random occurrences of meeting new people and trying new things, without any expectations.
Also consider that you're only 25, and than in 5 years you will be a different person, and in 10 years, and 15, etc. It actually doesn't matter what you do, because some aspect of you will evolve over time and your plans will change, which is normal. (For example, five years ago I wouldn't have told you that i'd become a cook or a trapeze artist, or have a long-distance relationship... but people change!)
I'm in the exact same position at the moment, have a fairly substantial amount of savings which I was planning on putting towards a deposit on my first house, but after looking there isn't much around within my price range which looks like something I'd enjoy improving (absolutely love DIY!) and living in (being self employed seems to be a huge red flag for lenders!).
I am fairly happy with my life, but its just a bit boring and I guess lonely at times. Sometimes finding myself trying to make small talk with people at the gym or in a supermarket as I haven't had any face to face interaction with another human for days at a time! I did go to university and lived in shared accommodation for a number of years and had the time of my life, but since living on my own I seem to have become a bit of a recluse and not as outgoing as I once was. Doesn't help that many of my friends are in relationships/permanently skint and are not willing to go out and do things.
Two of my main clients are located in London and I work remotely from home, both of which have said they would be fine with me travelling as long as I kept within a few hours time difference. Occasionally I am required to attend meetings in London at the cost of around £100-160 for a return train ticket, flights from a european country would probably cost me the same!
My biggest problems are pushing myself to do something new and out of my comfort zone and breaking the ice with new people as I am incredibly shy at first. Oh and not forgetting I have the worst hangovers of all time lasting anything from 2-4 days! haha
I am fairly happy with my life, but its just a bit boring and I guess lonely at times. Sometimes finding myself trying to make small talk with people at the gym or in a supermarket as I haven't had any face to face interaction with another human for days at a time! I did go to university and lived in shared accommodation for a number of years and had the time of my life, but since living on my own I seem to have become a bit of a recluse and not as outgoing as I once was. Doesn't help that many of my friends are in relationships/permanently skint and are not willing to go out and do things.
Two of my main clients are located in London and I work remotely from home, both of which have said they would be fine with me travelling as long as I kept within a few hours time difference. Occasionally I am required to attend meetings in London at the cost of around £100-160 for a return train ticket, flights from a european country would probably cost me the same!
My biggest problems are pushing myself to do something new and out of my comfort zone and breaking the ice with new people as I am incredibly shy at first. Oh and not forgetting I have the worst hangovers of all time lasting anything from 2-4 days! haha
I'm going to be the voice of dissent here and say only go travelling if you really want to (you say 'part of you' would love to go - how big a part?)
Travelling isn't for everybody. Personally I'm a homebody and I felt pressured to travel when I was younger because all the cool kids were doing it. I never enjoyed it, regret it, and would trade the experience for the money back in a heartbeat.
If you really want to get away from it all, then by all means do so and have a blast. Just do it because you want to, not because the internet tells you to.
As for what I would do, well I was in a similar situation to you when I was about two years older than you are now. I worked at a successful startup and rose through the ranks fairly rapidly, but settled at principal developer level for a number of years and never tried to make the jump into a truly senior role. If I was doing it again, I would either stay aggressive in trying to get ahead, or quit and build my own product. Sounds like you've already done the latter though.
Travelling isn't for everybody. Personally I'm a homebody and I felt pressured to travel when I was younger because all the cool kids were doing it. I never enjoyed it, regret it, and would trade the experience for the money back in a heartbeat.
If you really want to get away from it all, then by all means do so and have a blast. Just do it because you want to, not because the internet tells you to.
As for what I would do, well I was in a similar situation to you when I was about two years older than you are now. I worked at a successful startup and rose through the ranks fairly rapidly, but settled at principal developer level for a number of years and never tried to make the jump into a truly senior role. If I was doing it again, I would either stay aggressive in trying to get ahead, or quit and build my own product. Sounds like you've already done the latter though.
I disagree.
After I finished university, I worked as a raft guide and travelled with the seasons. Started here in Europe as that was an easy way to get in to it. It scared the shit out of me when I got a job offer in Chile, but I had told everyone about it so I had to go. I was in it for the rafting / whitewater, but the travelling came bundled with it.
I went and had the best time of my life. It really opens your eyes when you see how different cultures live. Made me a lot less shy as well.
If you really don't like it you can always come home early.
I went and had the best time of my life. It really opens your eyes when you see how different cultures live. Made me a lot less shy as well.
If you really don't like it you can always come home early.
I did come home early. Still regret it.
You could go again. The thought still crosses my mind every so often, and I am nearly 40.
I also am nearly 40. I plan to take my kids on an extended jaunt round Europe when they are 10 or so, but personally I am much more likely to choose resort holidays or cruises for myself rather than extended backpacker-style adventures. It's just not for me.
It sounds like you already have a good idea of what to do in your second to last paragraph. Go with your gut.
What would I do? Well, I was in your situation 10 years ago, and I basically kept doing lots of coding for fun, learning about all sorts of tech stuff, playing video games, and not generally going out, making friends, or what ordinary people might call 'having fun'. But I'm an introvert who genuinely loves being bookish, indoorsy and living on the Internet rather than in real life, so different strokes and all that ;-) If I could dick around on the Internet for the rest of my life, I'd be a very happy bunny.
Ten years on, I don't regret my decisions and I'm married with kids and doing well, although I know more than enough people who did regret not living it up in their 20s and it sounds like you might be someone who wants/needs to do that in style.. so get on with it :-)
What would I do? Well, I was in your situation 10 years ago, and I basically kept doing lots of coding for fun, learning about all sorts of tech stuff, playing video games, and not generally going out, making friends, or what ordinary people might call 'having fun'. But I'm an introvert who genuinely loves being bookish, indoorsy and living on the Internet rather than in real life, so different strokes and all that ;-) If I could dick around on the Internet for the rest of my life, I'd be a very happy bunny.
Ten years on, I don't regret my decisions and I'm married with kids and doing well, although I know more than enough people who did regret not living it up in their 20s and it sounds like you might be someone who wants/needs to do that in style.. so get on with it :-)
Oh jeez. This post struck way too close for comfort. I'm in a situation very similar to yours. That feeling of missing out and your friends now in relationships is quite stark .
I'm watching the comments above me like a hawk for what to do but I'm taking your post as an excuse to shake up my life. BRB - getting plane tickets.
I'm watching the comments above me like a hawk for what to do but I'm taking your post as an excuse to shake up my life. BRB - getting plane tickets.
Have a real adventure.
http://www.clipperroundtheworld.com/
The boats will be back in London in a couple of days. Go along and talk to some people who have literally just finished sailing the entire way around the world. Hear about the incredible things they've seen. The wonderful people they met and the amazing obstacles they had to overcome. Most importantly, hear about how much they feel they've developed personally.
I've spent a lot of my life travelling (which is what most people here are saying you should do). I'd highly recommend it but try to not end up travelling as a tourist (foolishly, I did for years). My top tip would be to not travel too much. Go somewhere, anywhere. Live with a local family. Learn the language. Understand the culture. Your life will forever be richer for it.
http://www.clipperroundtheworld.com/
The boats will be back in London in a couple of days. Go along and talk to some people who have literally just finished sailing the entire way around the world. Hear about the incredible things they've seen. The wonderful people they met and the amazing obstacles they had to overcome. Most importantly, hear about how much they feel they've developed personally.
I've spent a lot of my life travelling (which is what most people here are saying you should do). I'd highly recommend it but try to not end up travelling as a tourist (foolishly, I did for years). My top tip would be to not travel too much. Go somewhere, anywhere. Live with a local family. Learn the language. Understand the culture. Your life will forever be richer for it.
A lot of people have advised to do new activities, it can be difficult to discover the best activities, and be disciplined to do them without having other people to support you.
What about your solo living situation? I'm the same age as you, except living in San Francisco in a house of 60 people. I have a roommate who is 27. If you were in this house there'd be at least 15 activities a week you could join ranging from swing dancing, to making dinner for 20, to big rides around the city, to waking up at 545am to serve food in homeless shelters. You don't need to drag yourself out of your apartment alone, you just ride with the energy of the people you live with.
Suggest you join a share-house, or even fly over to San Francisco to join a larger community (I've flown over from Australia).
What about your solo living situation? I'm the same age as you, except living in San Francisco in a house of 60 people. I have a roommate who is 27. If you were in this house there'd be at least 15 activities a week you could join ranging from swing dancing, to making dinner for 20, to big rides around the city, to waking up at 545am to serve food in homeless shelters. You don't need to drag yourself out of your apartment alone, you just ride with the energy of the people you live with.
Suggest you join a share-house, or even fly over to San Francisco to join a larger community (I've flown over from Australia).
Oh I can actually help with this, same age range too I just hit 26, no kids etc
I think if you go travelling you'll end up repeating bad habits in each new place because you haven't changed anything about yourself.
I don't like giving advice so I'll just talk about what's worked for me :)
In the last 3 months I got to contract for Microsoft, which meant leaving my apartment and GF in London and having a place rented in Reading.
I'd intended to play a ton of games in the evenings but the internet connection there was terrible, dropped every 3 mins. I took this as an opportunity to do something else and learn a game in real life :p Plus I was a little out of shape and wanted to fix that and make some non-work friends. For me I picked Squash because it's a really demanding game of a competitive nature but it's also easy to practice on your own so I wouldn't be as embarrassed when I played with others.
I did research etc and spent just under a month in the evenings training on my own, then I joined the social squash sessions and later on the league. It's a ton of fun and when you're in friendly competition you naturally gel with peeps. You meet lots of different people too, I ended up building a site for a chem engineer who was setting up his own company.
The funny thing is not only did I make more friends through squash, but because you have something (non-nerdy, I could talk anyone's ear off about dev stuff or DOTA/Street Fighter etc but not everyone is open-minded enough to appreciate my nerdier facets :P) that you can chat about with other people you meet you find they're just generally more interested in you because passion is attractive, even in a platonic sense.
I did other things too but they aren't as pertinent to your situation, like starting to go to the gym with people I liked on my team, learning to ride a motorbike etc, all of which have made me a much more fulfilled person, all of which I wouldn't of even started doing if I hadn't of picked up that first activity.
This may sound a bit touchy feely but looking back, I think what was making me unhappy was that I didn't love myself. That sounds strange but as soon as I started improving and finding my groove everything else was a heck of a lot easier. You sound the same, you're trying to reach for something to change your circumstances and travel is an obvious first manifestation for that, but I'd suggest changing yourself first and seeing if that makes you happy.
You're lucky, you're looking for what to do next and you have few things to stop you going in any direction. You're standing on the precipice of you becoming a more awesome person :)
I think if you go travelling you'll end up repeating bad habits in each new place because you haven't changed anything about yourself.
I don't like giving advice so I'll just talk about what's worked for me :)
In the last 3 months I got to contract for Microsoft, which meant leaving my apartment and GF in London and having a place rented in Reading.
I'd intended to play a ton of games in the evenings but the internet connection there was terrible, dropped every 3 mins. I took this as an opportunity to do something else and learn a game in real life :p Plus I was a little out of shape and wanted to fix that and make some non-work friends. For me I picked Squash because it's a really demanding game of a competitive nature but it's also easy to practice on your own so I wouldn't be as embarrassed when I played with others.
I did research etc and spent just under a month in the evenings training on my own, then I joined the social squash sessions and later on the league. It's a ton of fun and when you're in friendly competition you naturally gel with peeps. You meet lots of different people too, I ended up building a site for a chem engineer who was setting up his own company.
The funny thing is not only did I make more friends through squash, but because you have something (non-nerdy, I could talk anyone's ear off about dev stuff or DOTA/Street Fighter etc but not everyone is open-minded enough to appreciate my nerdier facets :P) that you can chat about with other people you meet you find they're just generally more interested in you because passion is attractive, even in a platonic sense.
I did other things too but they aren't as pertinent to your situation, like starting to go to the gym with people I liked on my team, learning to ride a motorbike etc, all of which have made me a much more fulfilled person, all of which I wouldn't of even started doing if I hadn't of picked up that first activity.
This may sound a bit touchy feely but looking back, I think what was making me unhappy was that I didn't love myself. That sounds strange but as soon as I started improving and finding my groove everything else was a heck of a lot easier. You sound the same, you're trying to reach for something to change your circumstances and travel is an obvious first manifestation for that, but I'd suggest changing yourself first and seeing if that makes you happy.
You're lucky, you're looking for what to do next and you have few things to stop you going in any direction. You're standing on the precipice of you becoming a more awesome person :)
* Travel
* Spend your time with quality people
* Build a family
* Be generous, help others
Everything else will work itself out.
* Spend your time with quality people
* Build a family
* Be generous, help others
Everything else will work itself out.
Go travel round Europe whilst freelancing, no visa hassle as you're an EU citizen and travelling is definitely worth it. Either put stuff in storage and pick a list of countries to go to, or go visit a new city for a week each month I'd say.
Similar boat, I quit my job in april to travel. So far I've been to Japan, Inner Mongolia, and Hong Kong.
I find it's a lot cheaper to rent an apartment than hotels/airbnb, but you would have to stay in one place for a month at a time, which is mostly ok for places with a good subway system.
I was planning to change to the nomadic lifestyle forever, but 3 months later it is getting to be a bit tiring. I find I miss the convenience of having a car, fast pc, and going to the gym. I may just make it more of a once a year thing.
shameless plug for my blog: http://jack.ventures
I find it's a lot cheaper to rent an apartment than hotels/airbnb, but you would have to stay in one place for a month at a time, which is mostly ok for places with a good subway system.
I was planning to change to the nomadic lifestyle forever, but 3 months later it is getting to be a bit tiring. I find I miss the convenience of having a car, fast pc, and going to the gym. I may just make it more of a once a year thing.
shameless plug for my blog: http://jack.ventures
Same question that I asked previously on that thread, how do you find places to rent that's not Airbnb?
(cool blog btw!)
(cool blog btw!)
Travel. Take up something completely non-techy, like woodworking or knitting to meet people outside the tech "scene". Find a co-working place or something to do your freelance stuff from, to better mentally give a barrier between life and work. Make sure you have a good Third Place [1]. It sounds very much like you're in the opening stages of burnout here, and you really, really need to work on breaking out and making a mark on the world outside of hacker news.
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
I would go to school and study for a degree in some other field (perhaps something to do with science). I don't get travel. Waste of money IMHO. You can meet people and have fun doing other stuff as well.
"Part of me would love to put all of my belongings in storage, take my laptop and freelance from around the world."
It looks like you already answered your own question. This part of you is your intuition.
You are in the perfect situation to do what many people yearn to do, but are unable to because of lack of time and money, both of which you seem to have.
Go backpacking in Asia or something. Meet people, drink casually, explore the culture, and work from your laptop on the side. There are so many possibilities, and it is up to you whether or not you capitalize on them while you still can.
It looks like you already answered your own question. This part of you is your intuition.
You are in the perfect situation to do what many people yearn to do, but are unable to because of lack of time and money, both of which you seem to have.
Go backpacking in Asia or something. Meet people, drink casually, explore the culture, and work from your laptop on the side. There are so many possibilities, and it is up to you whether or not you capitalize on them while you still can.
I'm also from the UK and I felt exactly as you did, at exactly your age.
As others have said, travel. Specifically, stay at youth hostels; you will meet and get to know many wonderful people from all over the world.
When you stay at a hostel, people will tell you of new and fun places to go, where you'll meet more new and interesting people, and the virtuous circle begins.
At 25 I left my contracting job and spent 4 summer months travelling Europe.
Perhaps my favourite destination -
http://www.lakecomohostel.com/
As others have said, travel. Specifically, stay at youth hostels; you will meet and get to know many wonderful people from all over the world.
When you stay at a hostel, people will tell you of new and fun places to go, where you'll meet more new and interesting people, and the virtuous circle begins.
At 25 I left my contracting job and spent 4 summer months travelling Europe.
Perhaps my favourite destination -
http://www.lakecomohostel.com/
Go for it. Seriously man, why not? You're already regretting missing out on things now, you don't want to look back and regret not making this choice.
If you do it and it doesnt work out, who cares? You try something else. If you cut into your savings, who cares? Try something else. Sounds like you've been in your comfort zone for a while, you're bored, you want to try something new.
Why not listen to that feeling? I've been travelling and never have I ever been happier.
It sounds like you already know what you want to do.
I spent two years travelling the world while freelancing. I was building iOS apps remotely for companies in the UK. You'll be amazed how far the pound will take you in developing countries.
My advice is to spend six months in each location and try to really live there. Typical backpacking didn't work for me while also working.
Suggestions: Chiang Mai, Medellin, Bali, Berlin (cheap, but not the same kind of cheap as the others in this list)
My email is in my profile if you need any tips/ideas.
I spent two years travelling the world while freelancing. I was building iOS apps remotely for companies in the UK. You'll be amazed how far the pound will take you in developing countries.
My advice is to spend six months in each location and try to really live there. Typical backpacking didn't work for me while also working.
Suggestions: Chiang Mai, Medellin, Bali, Berlin (cheap, but not the same kind of cheap as the others in this list)
My email is in my profile if you need any tips/ideas.
I'll go for a 10-20 days hike, check the gr5, gr10, gr20 in France. I'll rent a room in a piso compartido in spain for a month, centers of Madrid or Barcelona have an amazing nightlife if you'd like to party, learn some spanish there. Learn to dance salsa. Go to a windy beach to windsurf. I'll grow my network, attend some tech meetups. Never eat alone.
And if your friends are settling and you no longer have so much fun with them, never think it's too late to make new friends!
And if your friends are settling and you no longer have so much fun with them, never think it's too late to make new friends!
28yo Web Dev, married (with babies), no debt, corporate JOB (just over broke, one month of expenses in my bank)
"What would YOU do?"
I'd definitely go travelling. See the world. Understand culture / problems / what drives people.
Suggestion - http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/Hackbase - get yourself to Canary Islands (plenty of cheap RyanAir flights from the UK) and figure what to do next from there :)
"What would YOU do?"
I'd definitely go travelling. See the world. Understand culture / problems / what drives people.
Suggestion - http://hackerspaces.org/wiki/Hackbase - get yourself to Canary Islands (plenty of cheap RyanAir flights from the UK) and figure what to do next from there :)
In your last sentence, you answered your own question. Don't ask us how you would want to live your life, after all it is YOUR life. Just live it!
We can give you as much permission as you want. But all of it won't matter unless you give yourself the permission.
Some say "just ship", in this case, "just start".
Lots of great advice in this thread. A lot of ideas on where to start. But it will be all for not if you don't let yourself start.
Good luck throwing off the bowlines! ;)
We can give you as much permission as you want. But all of it won't matter unless you give yourself the permission.
Some say "just ship", in this case, "just start".
Lots of great advice in this thread. A lot of ideas on where to start. But it will be all for not if you don't let yourself start.
Good luck throwing off the bowlines! ;)
I agree with jgrahamc.
Do a Bruce Wayne Gap Year: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7617684
Do a Bruce Wayne Gap Year: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7617684
Travel. You are in exactly the position I'd like to be in when I graduate (I'll be 26). Use AirBnB or hostels and go anywhere you'd like, living in a country for a month or two before moving on. Work from coffee shops or wherever you can find internet. Get in positions where you'll meet people and keep up with them with facebook, snail mail, etc. You may meet the person you wind up marrying along the way.
I would advise you to start investing if you haven't already done so. Keep things simple to start with. Invest in index ETFs (similar to VTI in the US) and make sure you diversify enough. Keep some money aside for "risky" investment and always have cash available for emergencies.
If you are interested in starting another company find a mentor and start building relationships. Above all, eat healthy stay healthy.
If you are interested in starting another company find a mentor and start building relationships. Above all, eat healthy stay healthy.
Keep cultivating ideas, building contacts, realizing dreams thru company building, building wealth while staying humble. Sounds like you are well on the way to financial independence which is the equivalency of freedom the vast majority will never know. Nothing, absolutely nothing better than being beholden to no one. Anything else is a modern equivalent of slavery.
You could go to college in a country where that's free or affordable (northern Europe). You could even just go for one or two years with the intention of dropping out early. Learn a fascinating topic (not necessarily tech related), see a different country without being just a tourist. Code in your free time when not doing typical student stuff.
Go traveling. Central America is cheap, beautiful, and full of other travelers (i.e. people who don't know anyone there and are therefore happy to make new friends). And if you have some work lined up before you go, you can code using hostel wifi and live like a king (a king that sleeps in a room with 6 or 7 strangers, but a king no less).
Don't concern yourself with meeting "girls". Meet _women_ and let it happen organically through your journeys.
My dream is living in a Latin American country (I learned Spanish) and do freelance work online for western salaries, e.g. $60 hourly. I maybe would get bored of it after 6 months, but with a European passport, you can always easily go back to Europe. I recently moved to the UK by the way, but just doing a full-time job.
Fully fund your Roth IRA. Visit a financial planner. Make sure you have your plans in place for retirement. Then play.
I would do what https://twitter.com/levelsio is doing: Start different startups, working from cool but cheap places anywhere around the world, with a lot of travels.
I try to do things now that I won't be able to do in the future. If you hope to have a family one day, that's going to tie you to one spot, because you'll want a support network, so you would be wise to travel now.
Much of european hostel scene is full of people wanting to go out and party, most days you'll meet 5-10 new people and have a lot of fun. You can do it for a week to see what's like, I bet you'll be hooked.
I second this. I'm just back from a short holiday where we spent part of it in a hostel and part in an apartment. The hostel was much more fun. New people from all over Europe arrived everyday. The hostel owner introduced us, suggested we have dinner together and then we all went out for the night. Great way to meet new people and not very awkward either.
I would use this opportunity to focus on yourself, what makes you happy regardless of who else is around. People (men and women) come and go. Where do YOU want to be, what do YOU want to try out and see if you like?
24yo self-taught webdev here as well, recently relocated to the UK from Sweden and left everything back home. If you'd like to grab a beer sometime, shoot me an email (it's in my profile).
Huge cliche but it amazes me how life can flip on a minor event, a chance meeting or conversation.
I think traveling accelerates the possibility of these events happening.
I think traveling accelerates the possibility of these events happening.
Go and travel, I would say. Do not change places too often, it hurts productivity, 1 month is ok.
Take a trip for a month, you've earned it. Go somewhere cheap and interesting.
Travel.
Also take up dancing classes (salsa is a good choice) and possibly learn to paint/draw.
Also take up dancing classes (salsa is a good choice) and possibly learn to paint/draw.
If you can, travel. You will never regret it. And it will be harder later
That's not a lot of savings. My advice would be to save more.
edit: Also, "barely have to touch my savings" means that you're net negative every month, and you're currently not doing anything special. I wouldn't do anything new that would raise my expenses.
edit: Also, "barely have to touch my savings" means that you're net negative every month, and you're currently not doing anything special. I wouldn't do anything new that would raise my expenses.
I think it depends what his goals are. Not a lot if you want to buy a house, but it's plenty if you want to travel around a bit and occasionally splurge on fine dining.
I disagree. $30K savings/$2.5K rent and bills = a year of savings, if you make sure you never, ever eat and your car never, ever breaks down.
There's something wrong with the finances of somebody who never took out student loans, has been working for 70 hours a week for five years, has only managed to save $30K, and is not having too much fun.
Also: freelancing for a single client that you used to work for is not steady work. I've never had that relationship last more than a year and a half. Freelancer fault-tolerance requires at least two clients.
There's something wrong with the finances of somebody who never took out student loans, has been working for 70 hours a week for five years, has only managed to save $30K, and is not having too much fun.
Also: freelancing for a single client that you used to work for is not steady work. I've never had that relationship last more than a year and a half. Freelancer fault-tolerance requires at least two clients.
Where did the rest of your money go if you co founded a company that turned over £4million? Is it locked invested somewhere?
Don't have kids. The money will disappear, if you do.
I speak from experience.
I speak from experience.
What's a good way to contact you?
Travel to Cape Town, South Africa
Travel and meet a girl in Thailand and stay there.
Travel.
sovereignman.com
Please bear the following in mind:
Sometimes I look around and I am grateful for the way everything has turned out. Having said that, I can't help but feel I have missed out. I never had my "party days", never travelled and I am working and living out of a apartment in the UK, which with my line of work, could in theory be anywhere in the world.
Some weeks go by and the only people I see are my family members, 1 or 2 friends and I may go out on the odd date now and again. My friends no longer want to go out to bars and clubs because they all did this when they were younger.
Part of me would love to put all of my belongings in storage, take my laptop and freelance from around the world.
My monthly outgoings are $2,500/£1,500 for rent and bills (I live on my own) and this is covered by my freelance work (8 hours per WEEK) so I barely have to touch my savings.
I want to meet more people, make more friends, meet more girls, have fun, come across exciting work opportunities, etc but I am not doing this right now.
What would YOU do?