Their Numbers Are Dropping - the Cellphone Refuseniks(nytimes.com)
nytimes.com
Their Numbers Are Dropping - the Cellphone Refuseniks
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/23/technology/23cell.html?_r=1&ref=technology
11 comments
I just can't wrap my mind around how having a piece of technology obligates me to use it.
It's the same as if you had a landline, bought an answering machine, set it up, and never listened to the messages. Then you blamed your friends when they got upset about that. That would be rude. Not because of the technology per se, but because you're telling your friends that you can be reached via cell phone, but then you disregard the time and effort they put into reaching you. If their time and effort really isn't worth the courtesy of you meeting them half way by looking at your cell phone once a day, then either they're not your friends, or you're a jerk to your friends.
A solution is simply to tell your friends that your cell phone is for business use only, and offer them other ways to reach you. But to give out your phone number and ignore your friends when they follow your own directions is not polite.
It's the same as if you had a landline, bought an answering machine, set it up, and never listened to the messages. Then you blamed your friends when they got upset about that. That would be rude. Not because of the technology per se, but because you're telling your friends that you can be reached via cell phone, but then you disregard the time and effort they put into reaching you. If their time and effort really isn't worth the courtesy of you meeting them half way by looking at your cell phone once a day, then either they're not your friends, or you're a jerk to your friends.
A solution is simply to tell your friends that your cell phone is for business use only, and offer them other ways to reach you. But to give out your phone number and ignore your friends when they follow your own directions is not polite.
I agree that if I set up an expectation that I didn't follow through on, I would be rude. The fact is that I'm very, very clear about my position on the phone, so she has no reasonable expectation that I'll check it regularly.
I feel that unless the person calling leaves me a message indicating what they want it's not a high priority for me to get back to them. I'm not sure if that's the norm or not, I just figure if they don't leave a voicemail then it signals that it was just a casual call I can return or not at my leisure.
I agree. If someone wants something then they text or leave a message. Otherwise I assume it was just a "Hey, how are you?" kind of call.
Or it can also be a scam "congratulations you won the prize please dial '1'" call. I get them all the time since I got my cellphone 1 year ago -- mostly in Spanish, which kind of creeps me up (how did they figure out I speak Spanish? or is it only a coincidence?)
I get Spanish spam calls on my cellphone, too, a couple of times a year... though I don't speak Spanish, so I have no idea whether or not I've won a prize.
right there with ya
I've had a cell phone for a long time, but the average monthly usage between my wife and myself is under 100 minutes (and probably 60 of those are because of phoning into meetings when I'm working from home). Typically the phone is buried in my bag, or the ringer is off and I don't notice it, so I'm part of the shrinking minority, too.
We are, however, considering an iPhone. We're taking an extended road trip soon (4+ weeks), and figure the ability to find a campground or coffee without searching out free wifi could be useful.
We are, however, considering an iPhone. We're taking an extended road trip soon (4+ weeks), and figure the ability to find a campground or coffee without searching out free wifi could be useful.
It depends on your relationship with that person. For some of my relationships it is perfectly normal to return a call two months later.
In general it helps if you're clear about it. I have a friend with two cellphones, and she never answers either of them. I know this, and just e-mail her instead (which does get a quick response). I tell my co-workers I only read e-mail once in the morning, and they will have to walk to my office or call me if they have something more urgent (this is quite different from company culture). Etc.
In general it helps if you're clear about it. I have a friend with two cellphones, and she never answers either of them. I know this, and just e-mail her instead (which does get a quick response). I tell my co-workers I only read e-mail once in the morning, and they will have to walk to my office or call me if they have something more urgent (this is quite different from company culture). Etc.
How are you with email? This is my attitude towards non-business communication as well.
For several years my wife and I refused to have a cell/mobile phone, until there was a rather unpleasant encounter. My wife was on her way to an appointment when the train stopped. Net result: 2 hour delay, and late for the appointment. No phones on the train, no way to make contact.
The person with whom she was meeting was incandescent, and entirely uncomprehending of her not having a phone. It was as if he refused to believe that she didn't have one, and thought she was being actively malicious.
So we relented.
The person with whom she was meeting was incandescent, and entirely uncomprehending of her not having a phone. It was as if he refused to believe that she didn't have one, and thought she was being actively malicious.
So we relented.
This is when you lie: "I am really, really sorry, my cell phone had no signal where we were stopped on the train." OR "I am really, really sorry, my charger stopped working last week and I just haven't had the time to get a new one." OR "I am really, really sorry, I called but I just kept getting a 'Number not in service' message."
That's the problem though, mobile communication seems to end up with so many lies, excuses, or reasons to fiddle the truth.. far more than any other medium. Sure, letters can get 'lost' in the post, an email can 'bounce' or 'sorry, it was marked as spam', but the level of active dishonesty around mobiles is crazy.
It's inherent in a synchronus communication medium like a phone call. With letters and email, you can respond at your leisure, but with a phone call you have to make an instant decision whether to answer it or not. Seeing as people both A) don't want to be rude to their friends and co-workers and B) don't want to have their lives dictated by a ringing phone, white lies ("sorry, no service", "sorry, didn't see your call") are more or less the most reasonable solution. They keep the benefits of instantaneous access and mitigate most of the drawbacks.
I hate cellphones, but I'm not a senior citizen, and am not any less educated than the "adopters".
I despise cellphones because I grew up with a father that had one. I was fortunate enough that, at that time, Dad could come home for lunch ... but it was inevitable that he would get interrupted. Later, when his office was at home (and he still had a cell phone) his boss would call and interrupt when Dad manage to find a lull to visit with the family.
Currently, my father works in the cellphone industry, and has some eight or more models down in his office. It's all we can do to get him away from them, and even then he'll have one or two phones with him. And it's still inevitable that he'll get interrupted by it! Only now, it could be a call, an e-mail, or an instant message.
The only time I have been thankful to have a cellphone with me was when I borrowed one, and was t-boned at an intersection.
Do I have friends? Sure! I chat with them every few days, email a little less frequently, and manage to talk on the phone with them once a month or less (we do meet frequently).
If I bought a cellphone it would be prepaid, for business use only. But then again, just like getting a driver's license ... there's a cultural sense of obligation that comes with the phone. If I get one, my friends will expect, and pressure, me to use it--just like they expect me to use my driver's license, even when I don't want to go out.
So, I keep adequate change to afford pay-phones (remember, when the power goes out you cannot get a signal on the cellphone as long as you can the pay-phones) just in case I have to make an emergency call.
Why should I care about cellphones? I'm "connected" enough as it is!
I despise cellphones because I grew up with a father that had one. I was fortunate enough that, at that time, Dad could come home for lunch ... but it was inevitable that he would get interrupted. Later, when his office was at home (and he still had a cell phone) his boss would call and interrupt when Dad manage to find a lull to visit with the family.
Currently, my father works in the cellphone industry, and has some eight or more models down in his office. It's all we can do to get him away from them, and even then he'll have one or two phones with him. And it's still inevitable that he'll get interrupted by it! Only now, it could be a call, an e-mail, or an instant message.
The only time I have been thankful to have a cellphone with me was when I borrowed one, and was t-boned at an intersection.
Do I have friends? Sure! I chat with them every few days, email a little less frequently, and manage to talk on the phone with them once a month or less (we do meet frequently).
If I bought a cellphone it would be prepaid, for business use only. But then again, just like getting a driver's license ... there's a cultural sense of obligation that comes with the phone. If I get one, my friends will expect, and pressure, me to use it--just like they expect me to use my driver's license, even when I don't want to go out.
So, I keep adequate change to afford pay-phones (remember, when the power goes out you cannot get a signal on the cellphone as long as you can the pay-phones) just in case I have to make an emergency call.
Why should I care about cellphones? I'm "connected" enough as it is!
Smartphones kind of kick ass above and beyond the phonitude. I get a lot of non-communication utility from having a symbolic mathematics environment, alarm clock, MP3 player, camera, Google Maps, Wikipedia, and business Internet (i.e. I can find store hours & addresses online while away from home, I can look up authors and reviews of books while I'm at the bookstore) in my pocket.
I have no friends, so a cell phone is unnecessary.
> For a hardy few that choose to ignore cellphones, life is a pocketful of quarters, missed connections and a smug satisfaction of marching to a different ring tone.
I'm reminded of the classic Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694
Full disclosure: I don't own a cellphone and my TV doesn't receive any channels. :)
I'm reminded of the classic Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694
Full disclosure: I don't own a cellphone and my TV doesn't receive any channels. :)
People don't get cell phones to keep things simple, but I love the simplicity of not having to plan my day ahead of time.
There seems to be a sharp generational inflection point between older people who make prior plans, and younger people who arrange things on the fly with their call phones. I must confess to be a member of the former set.
I suspect that this largely depends on who you talk to, at least as much as it depends on age.
I'm pretty young and I have a cell phone and I plan everything a total of about an hour in advance; if it involves me driving a few hours or involves me herding other people, I might or might not plan it a day in advance.
However, I know other people in my peer group who plan all kinds of things weeks or months in advance, and ask me every time about those things, leaving me to shrug haplessly.
I'm pretty young and I have a cell phone and I plan everything a total of about an hour in advance; if it involves me driving a few hours or involves me herding other people, I might or might not plan it a day in advance.
However, I know other people in my peer group who plan all kinds of things weeks or months in advance, and ask me every time about those things, leaving me to shrug haplessly.
I am 29. I have never had a cell phone, and never felt the need to have one. I've never been in a position where I've needed to call someone, or needed to be available to someone, where I wasn't already sitting next to a landline. Plus, I'm a miser.
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I'm the same, except I'm 27.
I don't think it's fair for people who don't have cell phones to call my cell phone and expect me to pick up. It's a two way street.
I don't have a mobile phone (that's what we call them in Australia). I've had three when they were newish, including a contract coding for one.
I'd rather be more producer than consumer.
I'd rather be more producer than consumer.
I've never had a cell phone. I like it that way just fine.
I just recently got in trouble with a good friend over it though -- she is very much into the cell phone thing, and culturally, she considers it rude that I don't get back to her quickly -- she says the longest reasonable time is a return call that same day.
I, on the other hand, feel like someone calling doesn't obligate me to call back ever, never mind quickly. In this case, it's not a matter of ignoring her, it's a matter of simply not looking at my phone. I just can't wrap my mind around how having a piece of technology obligates me to use it.
I have a feeling I'm in a shrinking minority.