Okay, since you want comments here, here I'll put mine.
The reason you were so successful in coming up with a new political philosophy is that your "I'm a Martian" trick got you think thoughts that no respectable person would be caught dead thinking.
There aren't the same taboos in computer system design, so while you can refer to the systems people use every day as gigabytes of, what was it, of ass fucking more ass, there's nothing you say that I haven't already heard.
I'm still waiting for the Python of functional programming. Paul Graham announced Arc when I was in middle school. Maybe it will be released as the scripting system in Half-Life 3.
Being an alien from Alpha Centauri, and observing the growing collection of programming languages, what do you think people keep designing new ones for? Why do some Urplatians argue for Scheme and other Urplatians for Python?
Rather than asking the question of 'what is a programming language', and trying to design the axiomatically simplest possible thing, try asking the question of 'how do people use programming languages'.
Is your system a bit of syntax regularization away from the pseudocode people scribble on paper to explain algorithms to each other? No, that's Python.
Is your system something that compiles down to use the bare metal to its fullest potential while maintaining as much creature comforts as possible? No, that's C++.
Is your system something with an ancient history of having a solid ABI, that in fact every other language's ABI is described with? No, that's C.
Is your system a heap of cruft upon kludges with the original intention of providing programming access to a hypertext document? That's Javascript.
I wouldn't want to write a regex as anything but a regex.
In conclusion, you're asking a question that's been asked before and getting an answer that's been gotten before. But, maybe it is finally time for functional programming to come back. Maybe you're a popular enough guy to get people to use your system.
Shell programs are expected to take streams of data and produce other streams of data. Shell programs are also supposed to, but often don't, have uniform configuration options. Instead, we have ps ax | grep chromium | grep -v grep | awk '{print $1}' | xargs kill
* ps accepts ax with no -
* awk is its own programming language lol
* xargs gets pretty complicated if anything bigger than this happens
(incidently, I know about awk '/chromium/ {print $1}' and killall. but i have seen that command line in the wild. because some people don't read the awk manual for fun, and i'm not sure if every unix system even has a killall command)
...and yet the shell is still the preferred tool for what it does because everything else requires too much typing (of both varieties)
Apparently urbit also has streams of raw data. It's about time someone came up with a new idea for a shell that keeps what's great about the shell (though personally, i would standardize on streaming a form of json, because it turns out that data is very often found as scalars, lists, and mappings).
So anyway. If urbit actually ends up being better to live in than unix, and having shell programs that are configured in exactly one way would be an improvement, and having data that's easier to parse than plain text while remaining as easy to read as plain text would also be an improvement, well, I've always wanted to live in a submarine. If it gets a nice editor and c++ compiler, that is. I do need the best performance possible out of my computer for my work.
Mathematicians keep all three words around because each of them has its use.