Thanks for reading and for the advice. I've tried to disconnect but not fully, I've still been talking to recruiters, reading job postings, etc. I just did a remote coding interview, and it went pretty awful but it felt like a sense of relief to do it because I had been dreading it for a while and was super nervous leading up to it. Now that it's done, I feel like I can relax a bit and also accept that things can go poorly and it doesn't have to be devastating.
Sorry to hear you are going through this. I'm going through a crisis myself. I left a bad workplace a few months ago, and took some time off. Now that I'm back in job search mode, I'm also going through some physical health issues and the added stress has given me a lot of anxiety. I've tried meditation, yoga, etc. and nothing is helping. I'm having real physical symptoms and everyone is telling me it's all anxiety, but I am not sure.
It is scary to step away from a job, because the uncertainty can be overwhelming. But if you have a good support system (friends/parents/etc), I would leave the job and focus on your health, it's more important than anything else as it affects everything you do/feel.
I grew up before the Internet, and I used to read a lot more. Being online has made me have very little focus for reading anything of length. I have spent time recently trying to undo this. I would say you are missing out and encourage you to make time to read some of the classics. I know it's hard to find which ones to read, it will just have to be some trial and error (not all the classics are good imo -- it's impossible for me to get into any of the Russians). I tend towards American or English classics, I suggest one of my all time favourites, it's a short one "My Antonia" by Willa Cather. I'm currently reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy and enjoying it very much.
I'm in CA, and Covered California prices are about the same as COBRA. I would be okay with 200-300, but 600 seems steep for the low (but catastrophic) potential.
I would walk away too. I'm in a similar situation, however not quite as bad, as there's 1 out of 10 engineers that is seriously underperforming, and a few others that are just average. The biggest problem though is that management won't do anything about it, even though they keep saying they are/will. It's been over a year now, and I've lost faith in mgmt and their ability to make the right decisions for the business in general. Not sure extra compensation will help you, I know it wouldn't make things better for me.
I have the option to work from home, but I almost exclusively work in the office now. Even though the open concept can sometimes be distracting, I am much more productive and happier at the office. On the occasion when I do work from home, I end up working longer hours, feel like I accomplished less, and am more tired.
I always have 2 others in my Uber Pool or Lyft line. Some Uber drivers have told me they make the money through trip bonuses and not so much on the fares themselves, they get a certain bonus when they get to a certain number of trips, but I can't imagine that would make up the difference.
You should seek out startups that have a different hiring process. My background is a 20 year backend Java developer, and I had a lot of challenges acing these 'algorithm' interviews as it's not what you do day to day as a developer. There is a bit of bias out there too wrt to languages even though they say there isn't, so my lack of Rails and Node was a problem. My success in landing a job came with a company who only focused their interviewing on what could be done on the job: you submit a project you've done and then discuss it, you go onsite for a day to work on a real project.
I'm going through this right now. I've taken some time (1+ years) off and do admit to being rusty. However, I've dedicated time to studying and I'm not getting past some technical phone screens because of these algorithms-heavy questions. I do well enough on them yet are passed over. I thought the market was "hot" and this would be relatively straightforward, but it has been anything but easy. I'm also starting to wonder if there are other factors at play (ageism, female).