Here is what has worked for me. But beware, I am not a psychiatrist so take my suggestion with a grain of salt.
First, let me tell you about my living situation and environment. I believe those two are very important in making these kinds of decisions. I live in a very tightly neat society. I meet my parents, and friends most often. But I was really good at hiding my situation. That made my problem worse. Why? Because, no one knew what I was dealing with. Everyone would realize I'm missing for a couple of days but they all figured I was busy. But I was going through hell.
I have tried various ways of threatening myself. Seeking professional advice is out of the question for me as I live an average life in a developing country.
So I gave up. But one day I decided to take a walk.
It gave me a breather. So I did it again, this time longer. By the time I came up from my long walks I would be tired so I would eat and fall asleep.
This continued for months and years. Each time making my walks longer and longer, untill I would get so tired that all I wanted to do was eat and sleep.
I have been doing that for more than 3 years now. I feel active now and I have added Taekwando to my exercise too. At the same time period, I got the courage to marry my girl friend. Now we are having a baby.
I don't believe that I don't get depressed any more. Or may be I was never depressed in the first place as bad as other people. But I don't lock myself in my room for days thinking about death anymore.
Edit: We just came back from a long walk out. At first I was quiet and awkward. Then I talked about it and handled it better. I even told her how I asked the HN community for help and how it helped me. It turns out she did the same in some mom's community.
The advice she we got was completely different. Hers were things like 'take a cute pic'.
Mine were more practical and what I wanted to hear. Even though some of them were scary.
Maybe, I should have provided better context. Everyone assumed am from US or EU. Anyways, thanks for the help and sold advice. I was in the toilet shaking when I posted this. You guys helped me to think about it in a practical way. I still don't have a solid plan but I feel like I have a clear head.
I have small saving (<10k) and I run my own dev agency which just survived dramatic founders separation. We live in Ethiopia but my wife is American. I think she just stopped paying for healthcare . I didn't wanna bring it up just now.
Thanks man. Sender reputation is something I worry about. But half my clients get the email I send them using a simple phone script already. So I'm hopeful that is a good indicator.