I'm not sure this is a success, but more of a habit I developed that helped me a lot.
While in bed about to sleep, I take about 5min to do the following:
- Think about 3 bad things I did during the day
- Think about 3 good things I did during the day (from smiling to a cachier, to helping someone in need, to sharing knowledge with co-workers)
- Re-visit what I did the whole day and be thankful for everything. And I really mean litterarely for everything (made coffee in the morning? I'm thankful for having a coffee machine, a full fridge, thankful for the weather, money I have or don't have..etc).
The above has helped me with two things: Remembering things (I have a bad memory) and be more happy with what I have. And as someone said "Happiness is doing more and expecting less".
You can have multiple wives even if you are not rich or just look average. I would say the majority of men stick to monogamy (90% probably). Having more than one wife comes with a lot of restrictions such as:
- All your wives have an automatic stake in your inheretence. In islam you can't choose who inherits what, its already set in place for you.
- All your wives need to be provided for by yourself. Even if they are rich. You as a male are required to provide for your wife and Children
- Be just between you wives. You bought a house for one? buy the same for the others. You took your first wife on holidays? same for the others. The quran state that you need to be just, but argues that you might not be able to achieve justice all the time.
Most people I know who have a second wife have specific reasons for doing so. For example a guy in my family had his wife choose his second wife for him. She couldn't have any babies and he was adamant to have kids. She agreed to stay with him, but only if she was involved in choosing his second wife for him. They have two houses one next to the other, and the kids play more with his first wife than with their mum.
For monogamy in general, arab men have it really somehow easy to get married. You just need to have a job and look somehow acceptable. There is no dating culture as in the west. You wouldn't find a man and his girlfriend living together and trying things out for a few years before deciding to marry. You get to know your future wife and meet with her (between a few months to a year most likely) and then decide to get married.
Having sex before marriage is frowned upon, but doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Most women in the muslim/arab world are actually looking to build a family and have kids. Not all of them agree to you having a second wife.
1) How did you burnout? so that we can look for red flag situations in the workplace.
I would just sit there staring at my screen and doing nothing. I would get emails/calls and other queries and I would just push everything back to next week. I was tired all the time and just wanted to sleep. I called in sick several times and slept the whole day.
2) How did you get out of it ?
Resigned, then moved out of the country, found a new job and started a plan that included:
Fitness, social life, a good diet, travel, new hobbies.
Be aware though, some people think that just by moving away from a place/job/problem you will get all your problems resolved. When in fact I found that some of the issues I had were related to my personality and who I was rather than anything else. The sooner you recognize this the better for you.