Ask YC: What would you tell your younger self?
84 comments
I got to do this! It's a great exercise.
My college (Berklee College of Music) asked me to give a talk to the incoming freshmen class on opening day. I wrote it by asking, "What would I tell my younger self?"
I called it "6 things I wish I knew the day I started Berklee" and came up with these 6:
#1 : Focus. Disconnect. Do not be distracted.
#2 : Do not accept their speed limit.
#3 : Nobody will teach you anything. You have to teach yourself.
#4 : Learn from your heroes, not only theirs.
#5 : Don’t get stuck in the past.
#6 : When done, be valuable.
Some of those won't make sense on their own, so you can read the full version at http://sivers.org/berklee or watch it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxYt--CFXK0
My college (Berklee College of Music) asked me to give a talk to the incoming freshmen class on opening day. I wrote it by asking, "What would I tell my younger self?"
I called it "6 things I wish I knew the day I started Berklee" and came up with these 6:
#1 : Focus. Disconnect. Do not be distracted.
#2 : Do not accept their speed limit.
#3 : Nobody will teach you anything. You have to teach yourself.
#4 : Learn from your heroes, not only theirs.
#5 : Don’t get stuck in the past.
#6 : When done, be valuable.
Some of those won't make sense on their own, so you can read the full version at http://sivers.org/berklee or watch it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxYt--CFXK0
That was a good talk!
I am guessing most of us have regrets and/or proven recipes for our younger selves. However, I do wonder if simply pointing to a list would have helped me. The process by which we arrive at these points is more important, and that seems to be introspection after missing (or meeting, but rarely does success lead to introspection) childhood goals.
Unfortunately, I don't think I would have valued introspection over poorly thought out reasoning for why my existing trajectory would lead straight into the lush fields of success.
Would I have, I wonder, been more receptive if I had been asked to meditate on why the counter to any prescription was bad? Why, for instance, was focus important enough to trump the sheer enjoyment of youthful disorientation and distraction?
Would I have, I wonder, been more receptive if I had been asked to meditate on why the counter to any prescription was bad? Why, for instance, was focus important enough to trump the sheer enjoyment of youthful disorientation and distraction?
Some day you will have the unique opportunity to talk to yourself from the future, don't blow it like I just did.
[deleted]
I like Mark Twain's take:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Don't worry about trying to impress people. Just work hard on things you like.
Don't get into debt.
Don't get into debt.
Out of curiosity (I think that's sound advice through-and-through): would you say the same thing to the dramatic socialite?
Most of my friends are part of the theatre circle: for a lot of us, impressing people and seeming really cool doesn't come from a desire to be liked, but from the thrill of getting reactions from crowds. It's more the act of people who specialize in trying to handle crowd emotions. Is that a separate thing, or would you bundle that sort of community attitude as attempted impressing?
Most of my friends are part of the theatre circle: for a lot of us, impressing people and seeming really cool doesn't come from a desire to be liked, but from the thrill of getting reactions from crowds. It's more the act of people who specialize in trying to handle crowd emotions. Is that a separate thing, or would you bundle that sort of community attitude as attempted impressing?
That's kind of an edge case. But even within acting there's a distinction between actually wowing audiences and trying to seem impressive. The American Repertory Theater in Cambridge is a good example of what not to do.
I hear ya about the debt. Though my dad told me that and I didn't listen as well as I should have, so it might be a waste even coming from myself. I've just now returned to the good credit category.
Does "don't get into debt" apply to choosing what college to attend, as well?
What if working hard on what I like could potentially get me into debt? Or what if I like to impress people?
I mainly mean you should avoid consumption debt-- you should avoid living beyond your means. Debt incurred as part of a project your'e working on could be ok. (Could.)
If you work hard on things you like, you will impress people.
If you work hard on things you like, you will impress people.
Before TicketStumbler I at one point had 90k worth of credit card debt to finance my first business. That business was a lot more stressful than TS.
Rephrased for chiasmus double bonus points:
Work hard on what you like, not on what's thought hard work.
Work hard on what you like, not on what's thought hard work.
Some businesses are impossible to start without debt.
I would say rather to your current self to live and work in such a way that the person you were a year ago would be proud to shake the hand of the person you are today. And every year both in the effort that you put and the integrity that you keep, your year ago self would would still shake your hand.
A personal note a little over a year ago I didn't know MySQL,Javascript, or PHP. I taught all three to myself and have become quite good or at least competent to develop whatever I can think of.
A personal note a little over a year ago I didn't know MySQL,Javascript, or PHP. I taught all three to myself and have become quite good or at least competent to develop whatever I can think of.
I'm in a similar situation regarding wanting to know MySQL, PHP and Javascript (or even just jQuery) within a year. Give that I currently study full time in a Business Degree, along with two part-time jobs (one static, one freelance and malleable, but both related to web development) do you think you could give me a few tips on what resources to read, and more importantly (given the abundance of resources) what to avoid to keep it as simple as possible?
I am happy to pay money for good resources or subscriptions.
I do know basic PHP and MySQL, along with complete HTML and CSS (CSS being my forte), however the next step is advancing that knowledge into the dynamic sphere.
I am happy to pay money for good resources or subscriptions.
I do know basic PHP and MySQL, along with complete HTML and CSS (CSS being my forte), however the next step is advancing that knowledge into the dynamic sphere.
If you keep doing the same stuff, you'll keep getting the same results.
Every change you make should be a change that builds on top of what you already have (restarting usually does not work).
Don't spend so much on donuts, it adds up.
No matter how tough anything is, the 3rd time you try it, it will be pretty easy.
When you have an idea, execute it and finish it. Don't let people influence you, just do it. History will show that your ideas usually worked.
Don't start what you can't finish. Have a clear finish line for everything you start.
If you go out to a club 10 times, and you still are not enjoying it, it's time to go somewhere else, no matter what everyone else is doing.
Make sure you're friends with your lover.
When there is an argument happening, stay out of it and get some work done.
Every change you make should be a change that builds on top of what you already have (restarting usually does not work).
Don't spend so much on donuts, it adds up.
No matter how tough anything is, the 3rd time you try it, it will be pretty easy.
When you have an idea, execute it and finish it. Don't let people influence you, just do it. History will show that your ideas usually worked.
Don't start what you can't finish. Have a clear finish line for everything you start.
If you go out to a club 10 times, and you still are not enjoying it, it's time to go somewhere else, no matter what everyone else is doing.
Make sure you're friends with your lover.
When there is an argument happening, stay out of it and get some work done.
Given a choice between an engineering school with a great reputation or a school with a female to male ratio close to 70%, choose the second.
Cheer up. The people who say that your teenage years are the best in your life are the same folks that are beating you up, and life goes downhill fast for them after graduation.
Hear, hear. Your arch nemesis will end up with a kid, no money and a job as a male stripper before the ripe age of 22.
My constant reminder that I should have told myself this more was the horribly depressing Marley quote I chose for my senior yearbook:
"Think you're in heaven but you're living in hell"
"Think you're in heaven but you're living in hell"
Avoid debt (for me, it was the IRS when I started being self-employed). Travel a LOT (it gets harder as you get older). Get jobs in interesting places (I went to school too near home and really didn't get adventurous 'till later). Being entrepreneurial is good, but don't get into services (I had a web dev agency-- crappy way to build equity)... Build products instead. Get to a tech hub sooner. Avoid the following 4 women (none of yer business). Set up an automated recurring investment program. Buy a house before mortgages get more expensive than rent.
Fortunately, that last one is getting corrected right now...
kiss her, you idiot... :o)
Don't be so shy - you'll regret it later. Just do it.
Buy Google stock.
Sell everything before Oct 2008.
Profit.
In college I would tell myself not to worry as much about grades, but to focus on a few projects of my own. Take more internships in different fields.
In college I would tell myself not to worry as much about grades, but to focus on a few projects of my own. Take more internships in different fields.
Buy Akamai stock. If I had a time-machine, I'd tell myself "Go all in. It's not going out of business" back when it was selling at $0.50/share in 2002. I'm satisfied with my 10-bagger (I missed both the trough and the peak and didn't sell all my shares), but if I'd put my life savings of about $15K in in 2002, and sold at the peak in 2007, I would have made $1.8M.
Actually stocks might not be the way to go. I'd hand myself a sports almanac and start betting. As long as Biff doesn't get his hands on it.
If you knew the price of a stock on a certain date, options would be good. And you could leverage the investment with no risk. Better return than buying stocks outright.
I'd probably just give myself a sports betting almanac. Until you asked that question I never fully appreciated Back to the Future 2.
Would sports be fun if you already knew what was going to happen?
Speaking of gambling. I'm going to Vegas for a week during March Madness. Let me know if you'll be in town for a poker tournament.
Speaking of gambling. I'm going to Vegas for a week during March Madness. Let me know if you'll be in town for a poker tournament.
No but it would be hella profitable. The rest of life would be more fun with an unlimited source of funds.
I don't think it'd be worth it. Unless I could delete my memory.
You like sports a hell of a lot more than I do if you would trade unlimited cash for the joy of watching games.
Also, it's an almanac so you could only look at the results when you needed cash.
Also, it's an almanac so you could only look at the results when you needed cash.
I guess as long it was as needed almanac I'd be OK. If I was auto-infused with all sports predictions & knowledge I don't know if I could do it.
Well, the trick would be to just start watching the sports that didn't quite make it into the almanac. Snowmobiling ftw.
Offtopic, but:
When Marty goes into the future they should arrive in a future where he went missing (because he's traveling through time). Hence, the whole movie makes absolutely no sense at all.
When Marty goes into the future they should arrive in a future where he went missing (because he's traveling through time). Hence, the whole movie makes absolutely no sense at all.
Not necessarily, you're looking at time and dimensionality in a linear light (ba-dum-dusch!). In all seriousness, by traveling through time he could just be traveling to a parallel dimension (universe?) that has already progressed to a future time.
I generally try not to look for inconsistencies when watching sci-fi, as it kind of spoils the fun.
I don't remember the series clearly, but he comes back much before that future event so he is not really missing at that time.
No, I'm talking about when he goes to the future at the very start of the movie (or end of BTTF1).
At the beginning of BTTF2 Marty travels to a possible future. One that would have become the actual future if he hadn't interacted with anybody and then gone straight back to 1985. Doc Brown's plan would have worked too if it weren't for those meddling kids.
Learn more math.
It's not a race. Don't forget to slow down and enjoy life sometimes. Learn to appreciate friends and family, because the times you spend with them will be the ones that you cherish the most later.
"Think things through carefully, but once you're finished thinking, don't second-guess yourself. You're smart enough that once you've thought things through, you're almost certain to have reached the right conclusions, so just go ahead and act on your plans instead of wasting time worrying about them."
Work a little bit harder. When you're already doing average school work, it doesn't take much more effort to be excellent.
Experiment.
Don't be afraid to speak up; Don't be afraid to be wrong.
Regretting something you didn't do is always far, far worse than regretting something you did.
I'm still 23 though, so I still need this advice. Putting it to practice is harder than it should be.
edit: Also, don't rush school. Keep track of idle time.
Experiment.
Don't be afraid to speak up; Don't be afraid to be wrong.
Regretting something you didn't do is always far, far worse than regretting something you did.
I'm still 23 though, so I still need this advice. Putting it to practice is harder than it should be.
edit: Also, don't rush school. Keep track of idle time.
don't waste your college years. That was 4 years of not needing to worry about food or paying rent that could have been used to launch and grow a startup to profitability.
"don't waste your college years"
precisely...two chicks at the same time. don't blow it. College is the absolute best time to achieve this with just a bottle of vodka instead of needing to become a millionaire.
precisely...two chicks at the same time. don't blow it. College is the absolute best time to achieve this with just a bottle of vodka instead of needing to become a millionaire.
Am I allowed to disagree and say that I'm one of the rare males who doesn't find the prospect of sex remotely interesting unless I really care about the girl? I've tried getting shitfaced and hooking up, and even at my drunkest I find the prospect entirely repulsive.
As a freshman: I'm not really into the whole "college experience" thing. I've been in better situations before. A friend and I are making our start-up, and I'm looking forward to leaving college early and finally talking with people who care about things like making a living and going through life. I can't stand the immaturity of the average college student.
As a freshman: I'm not really into the whole "college experience" thing. I've been in better situations before. A friend and I are making our start-up, and I'm looking forward to leaving college early and finally talking with people who care about things like making a living and going through life. I can't stand the immaturity of the average college student.
While I would not call it "entirely repulsive," the act of random sex has always been far less fulfilling for me. We are also some of the rare males who consider it possible to have "bad" sex. I collectively refer to us as: Connoisseurs ;)
That being said, I wouldn't call the average college student immature. The older I get, the more I realize that the line between "maturity" and "immaturity" is incredibly fine and not at all well defined -- and one can occasionally act immature while still maintaining maturity. It's not as simple as, "People who goof around and worry about nothing but sex and booze are immature while people who worry about making a living and reading leather-bound books are mature."
Strictly speaking, maturity in this case simply means "having reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development characteristic of an adult." Now, given that stage, what you choose to do does not necessarily directly reflect on whether or not you've reached it. For instance, a mature person in college may realize that, all things being equal, their college years may well be the last they have to truly live care-free and without serious responsibility. Given this rationale, would you fault them for using that time to pick up random men/women, drink five nights a week, and generally just focus on having fun?
Now, if they continued this lifestyle after college perhaps they aren't mature enough to realize that they must now change their behavior in order to thrive under their new circumstances. Or, perhaps, they just don't give a damn. To me, maturity simply indicates that a person is fully aware of the ramifications of their actions and are willing to own those actions. I don't consider a 40 year old CEO any more mature than a 40 year old McDonald's worker, provided they both want to be where they are and know exactly how they got there. Would you say that Lester from American Beauty one day became immature or finally mature? Or neither? Or both?
That being said, I wouldn't call the average college student immature. The older I get, the more I realize that the line between "maturity" and "immaturity" is incredibly fine and not at all well defined -- and one can occasionally act immature while still maintaining maturity. It's not as simple as, "People who goof around and worry about nothing but sex and booze are immature while people who worry about making a living and reading leather-bound books are mature."
Strictly speaking, maturity in this case simply means "having reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development characteristic of an adult." Now, given that stage, what you choose to do does not necessarily directly reflect on whether or not you've reached it. For instance, a mature person in college may realize that, all things being equal, their college years may well be the last they have to truly live care-free and without serious responsibility. Given this rationale, would you fault them for using that time to pick up random men/women, drink five nights a week, and generally just focus on having fun?
Now, if they continued this lifestyle after college perhaps they aren't mature enough to realize that they must now change their behavior in order to thrive under their new circumstances. Or, perhaps, they just don't give a damn. To me, maturity simply indicates that a person is fully aware of the ramifications of their actions and are willing to own those actions. I don't consider a 40 year old CEO any more mature than a 40 year old McDonald's worker, provided they both want to be where they are and know exactly how they got there. Would you say that Lester from American Beauty one day became immature or finally mature? Or neither? Or both?
My problem isn't with students that are completely into casual sex. In fact, that's what I was imagining: people who are completely open and honest about what they want.
Instead, I find that most college students are either in denial or they let themselves get carried too far. The people here are always in it to get back at a boyfriend or they're too drunk to realize just what they're doing. That's what I can't stand.
I think that people who worry about livings and books are often just as bad, to be fair. I switched out of an English major because I realized that the people I knew going for English were often really out-of-sync with the real world and were really unpleasant people. I moved to a major that had a few people who were really with it, and formed a group there.
I've never seen American Beauty. Would you recommend it?
Instead, I find that most college students are either in denial or they let themselves get carried too far. The people here are always in it to get back at a boyfriend or they're too drunk to realize just what they're doing. That's what I can't stand.
I think that people who worry about livings and books are often just as bad, to be fair. I switched out of an English major because I realized that the people I knew going for English were often really out-of-sync with the real world and were really unpleasant people. I moved to a major that had a few people who were really with it, and formed a group there.
I've never seen American Beauty. Would you recommend it?
Oh, well if you're referring to petty, childish stuff like that, I have no argument. Telling the difference can be hard sometimes, so all I can really recommend is that you keep an open mind. You seem to be doing that, though.
American Beauty is in my top 10 movies of all time; I recommend it highly!
American Beauty is in my top 10 movies of all time; I recommend it highly!
Excellent. I'll add that to my movie list (it'll take a while, right now I'm going through my year-old "extremely long TV shows" list). Or perhaps it'll come up for movie night: it's a pretty well-known movie.
You won't be disappointed. The only things I'm a bigger snob about than beer and women is music and movies ;)
And there's an even finer line between immature and just fun-loving...
I agree with everything you said, except about Lester.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he completely give up providing for his daughter, and then try to have sex with her ( ? 16 : 17) year old friend?
Part of being mature is living up to one's promises and responsibilities. Also, not being a creepy old dude and trying to nail 16 year olds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he completely give up providing for his daughter, and then try to have sex with her ( ? 16 : 17) year old friend?
Part of being mature is living up to one's promises and responsibilities. Also, not being a creepy old dude and trying to nail 16 year olds.
I completely agree, the first year was new and fun. Then the next year, and the following years come, and you realize that 95% of your classmates are still as immature as they were when you met them the first year.
Maybe it was just my school. I figured Stanford and other top schools would be different.
I have two semesters left and I will be leaving shortly to work on my startup full time.
Maybe it was just my school. I figured Stanford and other top schools would be different.
I have two semesters left and I will be leaving shortly to work on my startup full time.
> Maybe it was just my school. I figured Stanford and other top schools would be different.
Dunno about Stanford, but it's basically like that at Amherst, except for a small group of students (perhaps 10% of the student body).
A friend (former cofounder :-) and I were talking about how even though Amherst is the #1 liberal arts college in the country, there were an awful lot of dumb people in his classes. He's found that people were way smarter at his employer (a boutique management consulting firm) and now at HBS.
I had the opposite impression - I thought people were crazy smart at Amherst, and then more average, though still smart, at my employer (a financial software startup). But that was because I was in physics/CS, while he was in econ/psych. I get the feeling that many universities have internal hierarchies, where people in quantitative fields are often more driven than people in the liberal arts.
Dunno about Stanford, but it's basically like that at Amherst, except for a small group of students (perhaps 10% of the student body).
A friend (former cofounder :-) and I were talking about how even though Amherst is the #1 liberal arts college in the country, there were an awful lot of dumb people in his classes. He's found that people were way smarter at his employer (a boutique management consulting firm) and now at HBS.
I had the opposite impression - I thought people were crazy smart at Amherst, and then more average, though still smart, at my employer (a financial software startup). But that was because I was in physics/CS, while he was in econ/psych. I get the feeling that many universities have internal hierarchies, where people in quantitative fields are often more driven than people in the liberal arts.
If you can't find people at college that care about what you care about, then you need to transfer right away.
It doesn't get any better once you graduate.
It doesn't get any better once you graduate.
This is absolutely the best and most important advice you'll get. I was in that situation, I transferred, and it ended up working out swimmingly.
And yes, it doesn't get any easier to meet excellent people out in the real world.
And yes, it doesn't get any easier to meet excellent people out in the real world.
Right now I'm looking at a transfer; at the same time, my co-founder and I are pushing to have a sellable product as quickly as possible. We're both freshmen who went to advanced programs in high school and are finding college to be a bit of a drag, so either way things will hopefully get better.
Where are you going to school? How are you paying for it?
Are you sure that you want to go to college? I don't really advocate dropping out because a B.S. can be a good safety net in today's society. If you don't find college a rewarding experience, you should probably do something about it. College costs a lot of money and you need to maximize your investment.
I suppose you can slug it out at a place where you don't fit in and use the isolation as motivation to work on your own projects, but that doesn't sound like a good existence.
To me, it makes more sense to go to a place where you will find like-minded people. Being around people who share your interests will probably help you make a better company in the long run. At my school, I learned more through my peers than I ever did in class. A good peer group is essential to get the most out of college. Being exposed to the unique skills and views of others will provide necessary personal growth. College, after all, is much more than just going to class.
I think you should take some time to figure out what you really want to do.
Are you sure that you want to go to college? I don't really advocate dropping out because a B.S. can be a good safety net in today's society. If you don't find college a rewarding experience, you should probably do something about it. College costs a lot of money and you need to maximize your investment.
I suppose you can slug it out at a place where you don't fit in and use the isolation as motivation to work on your own projects, but that doesn't sound like a good existence.
To me, it makes more sense to go to a place where you will find like-minded people. Being around people who share your interests will probably help you make a better company in the long run. At my school, I learned more through my peers than I ever did in class. A good peer group is essential to get the most out of college. Being exposed to the unique skills and views of others will provide necessary personal growth. College, after all, is much more than just going to class.
I think you should take some time to figure out what you really want to do.
Right now I'm at The College of New Jersey. It's an absolutely top-rate public school, and my parents are paying for it. It's a good college, but it's mind-numbingly slow. I already have a general idea of what I want to do, so a lot of the introductory classes seem pointless and dull. I also feel really guilty about using money that's not mine to take classes that I don't feel will affect what I do later in life.
Right now, I'm in that sort of "isolation." I have friends, and a bit of a social life on campus, but the whole of it really doesn't interest me. The problem that I and my cofounder have is that we both attended handpicked programs a summer ago, with an absolutely top-notch set of students from across the state. (I went for the arts, he went for the sciences.) Both of us are finding college a let-down after the intense 8-hour-day programs that those were, hence us starting up.
As for college: I really don't think leaving and never returning would be a good idea. But we're applying to YCombinator this summer, and we figure that one way or another it might be worth a year away from college to try our hands at entrepreneurship. We've got a good idea and a good product; worst comes to worst, we'll go back to college after a year much wiser and much more understanding of what we want to do with our lives.
Right now, I'm in that sort of "isolation." I have friends, and a bit of a social life on campus, but the whole of it really doesn't interest me. The problem that I and my cofounder have is that we both attended handpicked programs a summer ago, with an absolutely top-notch set of students from across the state. (I went for the arts, he went for the sciences.) Both of us are finding college a let-down after the intense 8-hour-day programs that those were, hence us starting up.
As for college: I really don't think leaving and never returning would be a good idea. But we're applying to YCombinator this summer, and we figure that one way or another it might be worth a year away from college to try our hands at entrepreneurship. We've got a good idea and a good product; worst comes to worst, we'll go back to college after a year much wiser and much more understanding of what we want to do with our lives.
Agreed - I didn't transfer (twice!) and still regret it.
I am pretty much with you in your sentiments ;). I just made the post to add some humor.
Not just youth, but "now" is a great time for most things. Focusing on getting laid and getting drunk is not what youth is for. At the same time, being too serious and just trying to make money is also not the best thing (that's what I did throughout my 20s). I'm 40 and still learning how to find appropriate balance in life. At least by now I've realized that finding balance is the key.
So I guess if I had to seriously answer the OP, I would say to my old self "find the way of the tao."
Not just youth, but "now" is a great time for most things. Focusing on getting laid and getting drunk is not what youth is for. At the same time, being too serious and just trying to make money is also not the best thing (that's what I did throughout my 20s). I'm 40 and still learning how to find appropriate balance in life. At least by now I've realized that finding balance is the key.
So I guess if I had to seriously answer the OP, I would say to my old self "find the way of the tao."
To each his own.
I'll have my girls, you have you startup :).
I'll have my girls, you have you startup :).
*I'll have my girls, you have your startup. Smiley face.
For those of you with the two chicks plan, I think I've found your wingman.
Yeah, I'm the same exact way. I've had casual sex a few times, and felt repulsed and depressed to an extreme degree for the next few days after.
It bothers me greatly and the memories of the casual sex alone freaking kill me when they surface.
It doesn't help that I'm a college drop-out, have no family around, and most of my friends are distant now. And single. And don't know to meet people.
Fuck I need to figure out a hobby that involves interacting with other people.
Actually, I think that'll be my next ask reddit/yc posts.
Maybe a targeted question like that will work.
Either way, yeah, I'm the same way. I have to at least care about her to enjoy it at all. Interestingly, the girl I enjoyed sex with the most, was a virgin when we started dating. The reason she was so good was her enthusiasm and that she displayed how much she cared for me even in bed.
It just magnified the quality of the whole experience.
Hrm. Nostalgia is killing me. I'd better slough off to bed.
Good luck in sharing this weakness we both seem to have.
Cheers mate.
It bothers me greatly and the memories of the casual sex alone freaking kill me when they surface.
It doesn't help that I'm a college drop-out, have no family around, and most of my friends are distant now. And single. And don't know to meet people.
Fuck I need to figure out a hobby that involves interacting with other people.
Actually, I think that'll be my next ask reddit/yc posts.
Maybe a targeted question like that will work.
Either way, yeah, I'm the same way. I have to at least care about her to enjoy it at all. Interestingly, the girl I enjoyed sex with the most, was a virgin when we started dating. The reason she was so good was her enthusiasm and that she displayed how much she cared for me even in bed.
It just magnified the quality of the whole experience.
Hrm. Nostalgia is killing me. I'd better slough off to bed.
Good luck in sharing this weakness we both seem to have.
Cheers mate.
Best of luck with finding a hobby! Tell me if you post it on Reddit: I'd like to see the answers.
I'm still a virgin, because - somehow - I still believe in abstinence until marriage. No clue how long that will last. And I find it really sad that people tend to become cynical about lust and sex and romance. Thanks to that, the best relationship I had started with the girl being with another (pretty awful) guy: we got really interested in each other at least in part because it was so clandestine at first, so larger-than-life.
And I don't know if it's because of youth or not, but I loathe people who are very into romance and very against any sort of physical contact. I think that's like the exact reverse of casual sex and it's just as bad. There needs to be a balance.
Cheers.
I'm still a virgin, because - somehow - I still believe in abstinence until marriage. No clue how long that will last. And I find it really sad that people tend to become cynical about lust and sex and romance. Thanks to that, the best relationship I had started with the girl being with another (pretty awful) guy: we got really interested in each other at least in part because it was so clandestine at first, so larger-than-life.
And I don't know if it's because of youth or not, but I loathe people who are very into romance and very against any sort of physical contact. I think that's like the exact reverse of casual sex and it's just as bad. There needs to be a balance.
Cheers.
Please don't.
ugh. there's plenty of time to start companies, but those 4 years of "not needing to worry about food or paying rent" are unique.
Totally agree.. as a recent (may 08) graduate, college didn't feel very productive in terms of starting a company but I do think I had the time of my life. I tried to spend most of my time enjoying the experience of having so many great people around me and soaking up the myriad of information from my classes. While I didn't end up starting a prosperous business in undergrad life, I did network like crazy and tried to learn a few skills to help me in my career choice (entrepreneurship).
That's one thing I don't think I regret or would tell my younger self to change. Don't get too caught up in work to miss out on the incredible experience that is college!
That's one thing I don't think I regret or would tell my younger self to change. Don't get too caught up in work to miss out on the incredible experience that is college!
Yeah, I agree there. You should only start a startup in college if you can't help it.
the thing is that in those 4 years you can take it slow. You don't have the added stress of running out of money to pay for rent etc.
1-2 hours per day on a startup in college is no big deal. You have so much free time in college, that you can easily fit in doing a startup, going to class and having a decent social life.
1-2 hours per day on a startup in college is no big deal. You have so much free time in college, that you can easily fit in doing a startup, going to class and having a decent social life.
Then what's the point of being young?
I'm not saying you need to be a monk and focus entirely on your startup. Think of it an additional class you have to go to every day.
And I dunno if its being older talking, but at this point I look back at all that time that I wasted, and feel like I've wasted an opportunity
And I dunno if its being older talking, but at this point I look back at all that time that I wasted, and feel like I've wasted an opportunity
you really think 1-2 hours per day will cut it? if you were the only one doing a startup, then, and only then, maybe so...
Don't work for a large company straight out of school. Move to Silicon Valley. Don't buy a sports car - every penny you save is one step closer to not having to work for someone else.
Not sure I'd agree. I would say that it's a huge benefit to have worked for a large company, but don't stay more than a year, two at the most. You don't really appreciate the hell of a corporate environment until you've worked in one for a bit.
take more risks. don't worry about failing.
You already know what you want.
I'll simply use something paraphrased from Voltaire's story Zadig: "Be just and worthy of having friends."
Do that and everything else will follow.
Do that and everything else will follow.
Ideas don't really matter, only execution does.
I would probably say something along the lines of, "You've been lucky enough to be born in a time and place where there is nothing you cannot do; the world is there for the taking, so stop sitting around and go fucking take it already!"
To this day, I still don't take as much as I should. But, baby steps.
To this day, I still don't take as much as I should. But, baby steps.
Release Early, Release Often.
Had an epiphany about this last week, and it has nothing to do with the Bazaar either, but rather everything to do with marketing. A client released a system that I did not consider ready for use and somehow it works..., I had only hacked the thing for a total of 3 days!
Had an epiphany about this last week, and it has nothing to do with the Bazaar either, but rather everything to do with marketing. A client released a system that I did not consider ready for use and somehow it works..., I had only hacked the thing for a total of 3 days!
Appreciate and live the moment. Most people (incl. myself) were always looking for big things in life. Not realizing, at the end of the day, it's all the small little things that you take it for granted are all that makes the whole differences.
I'm 21 and plan on moving from Australia to the Valley next year to start on my passionate life journey. So this advice is really interesting to me!
Especially specific advice regarding working in this general field in the Valley or California would be fantastic.
Thanks!
Especially specific advice regarding working in this general field in the Valley or California would be fantastic.
Thanks!
What's your life journey that begins in .au?
Speak up more, and stop being such a slacker.
Don't do anything different, I like it here.
I'd second that one.
My message to my younger self: don't screw it up moron, or you won't get happily married!
My message to my younger self: don't screw it up moron, or you won't get happily married!
Think for yourself, be yourself. Find the people and activities that match who you are. When the going gets tough, You will only have 2 friends your dad and a dollar.Talk as little as you can.Choose a profession knowing that is what you will do the rest of your life. Your wife will be 80% of your happiness / sadness of your adult life. Do not think you are below or above anyone. Being an employee sucks big time.Dont underestimate perseverance.
And pretty much reread everyday Soroyan short preface of "In the time of your life"
And pretty much reread everyday Soroyan short preface of "In the time of your life"
I have thought about this question a lot. You see, I am a transgender woman who was, as you can imagine, a very confused and scared young man. One thing I would tell him is that I am here for him; I will never leave him. And I understand why he is rejecting me, and I love him.
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When I started to live as a woman, I was able, for the first time in my life, to say that I love who I am, and ther person I was.
Don't waste time.
Value your family and friends more, they are the only ones you know in this world.
Don't listen to Naysayers.
Value your family and friends more, they are the only ones you know in this world.
Don't listen to Naysayers.
Listen to this dude Rufus, he knows what he's talking about.
Everything on Overcoming Bias - that's what it's there for.
Dude. You should start doing on your idea right now. Idea is nothing without execution.
Drop out of school sooner...like after freshman year...make sure you live very close to campus for the next few years after dropping out...spend the day working on your own projects with friends around campus (make sure you do team projects)...and the nights chilling at student clubs and meeting the motivated folks around campus.
Learn through your own individual and group projects..and keep up with industry trends...be sure to travel around (to other schools among other places) and meet other folks that have a youthful spirit.
People around you will not like your unique lifestyle...but then again, they also will not have enough money to pay off the debt for the lifestyle they say you should have (go to school, invest in a home, etc.)
Any well-defined path...no matter how prestigious...will not lead to entrepreneurial success; success comes from finding/developing a new path; blaze your own trail
Be wary of things that you "Ought to do" or "Should do"...they usually cause issues (credit: Carol Bartz for the last line)
Learn through your own individual and group projects..and keep up with industry trends...be sure to travel around (to other schools among other places) and meet other folks that have a youthful spirit.
People around you will not like your unique lifestyle...but then again, they also will not have enough money to pay off the debt for the lifestyle they say you should have (go to school, invest in a home, etc.)
Any well-defined path...no matter how prestigious...will not lead to entrepreneurial success; success comes from finding/developing a new path; blaze your own trail
Be wary of things that you "Ought to do" or "Should do"...they usually cause issues (credit: Carol Bartz for the last line)
Actions speak louder than words. And not just your own, but others' as well. Observe what people do, not just what they say (or write). Learn from it.
To do that, you have to participate.
Participating is challenging. Learn to stand up for yourself.
Take martial arts. Not to be a badass, but to maintain your integrity around jerks who use physical intimidation.
Actions speak louder than words. If you feel bad about what you are doing, likely it is impacting others negatively as well. (Even if it's just talking.)
We learn emotions, not just ideas. If you stay stuck in bad emotions, you will reinforce their patterns.
Two things you have in finite quantity and which, once lost, may not be recovered. Time, and your health. Guard both strenuously. I dont' mean that one should live in isolation; quite the contrary. But don't let your time and health be wasted or needlessly, stupdidly compromised.
To do that, you have to participate.
Participating is challenging. Learn to stand up for yourself.
Take martial arts. Not to be a badass, but to maintain your integrity around jerks who use physical intimidation.
Actions speak louder than words. If you feel bad about what you are doing, likely it is impacting others negatively as well. (Even if it's just talking.)
We learn emotions, not just ideas. If you stay stuck in bad emotions, you will reinforce their patterns.
Two things you have in finite quantity and which, once lost, may not be recovered. Time, and your health. Guard both strenuously. I dont' mean that one should live in isolation; quite the contrary. But don't let your time and health be wasted or needlessly, stupdidly compromised.
I have actually thought very deeply about this question and would often ponder about it in my spare time. Hypothetically speaking if I could go back in time and tell my younger self one thing it would be:
DO NOT FORGET February 13, 2002: 1,4,19,28,46 M4
If I could say a little more on top of that it would be: invest in google stock.
DO NOT FORGET February 13, 2002: 1,4,19,28,46 M4
If I could say a little more on top of that it would be: invest in google stock.
People are not as hard to hack as you might think.
What's the worst that could happen? Seriously?
It's better to be right than consistent.
What's the worst that could happen? Seriously?
It's better to be right than consistent.
"Hi, I'm you from the future. It's critically important that you visit $country ASAP. Heck, it's important enough that they sent me back through time to tell you! You! Here's some money, go to this place and speak to this person. Go on your own".
Hopefully, convincing myself to go. The place isn't important, except that it's more than a day's travel, and the person would be some generic description who's likely to be there, and the cash wouldn't be enough to get back.
Or maybe the place and person would be someone interesting who I'm yet to hear of. Not sure.
The experience, maybe it would be enough of a kick to change my life for the better. I needed it. (I still need it).
Hopefully, convincing myself to go. The place isn't important, except that it's more than a day's travel, and the person would be some generic description who's likely to be there, and the cash wouldn't be enough to get back.
Or maybe the place and person would be someone interesting who I'm yet to hear of. Not sure.
The experience, maybe it would be enough of a kick to change my life for the better. I needed it. (I still need it).
It's a cute idea, but I'd sincerely hope my past-self would never listen to anything I have to say now and instead figure it out for himself. I thought a lot of crazy stuff then - probably still do - and I liked it that way.
That Gibbs would come back, but to not get my hopes up too much for the Redskins.
I would give myself a copy of "Disciplined Minds" by Jeff Schmidt. It explains so many things I didn't understand then.
It is probably the most important book that I have read in the last five years.
It is probably the most important book that I have read in the last five years.
It's OK to say no to someone
Learn Haskell well before you graduate from college. It will change your view of programming.
If you ever at any point have an "obscenely high" return on one of your investments (other than a startup you own), always liquidate it if possible to realize your returns.
In May of 2003, check out http://crossfit.com
If you ever at any point have an "obscenely high" return on one of your investments (other than a startup you own), always liquidate it if possible to realize your returns.
In May of 2003, check out http://crossfit.com
keep your day job while developing your innovations and funding
"... what would you tell yourself? ..."
Practicing things many times over, matters more than doing them a couple of times; Be: aware of your surroundings and seize opportunity; irreverent to authority and the pompous; generous with your time; miserly with criticism; pain is temporary;
Practicing things many times over, matters more than doing them a couple of times; Be: aware of your surroundings and seize opportunity; irreverent to authority and the pompous; generous with your time; miserly with criticism; pain is temporary;
AAPL
I have a good, interesting job, started working on the age of 14, have saved some money and have no debts. The only thing I would say to myself is:
Don't forget your friends. They are important as well.
Because sadly, I think most people do forget them, including me...
Don't forget your friends. They are important as well.
Because sadly, I think most people do forget them, including me...
Don't pretend to do, just do.
A list of shares to purchase, and who to borrow the money from to buy them.
Make more mistakes; don't be afraid to fail.
A college degree is overrated; the opposite is true of self-teaching.
Buy the Corvette. It's expensive and impractical but you'll never have more fun with a car like that than you will at 24.
A college degree is overrated; the opposite is true of self-teaching.
Buy the Corvette. It's expensive and impractical but you'll never have more fun with a car like that than you will at 24.
I totally agree about buying your dream car :-) .. I bought a SC430 2 yrs ago when I was 23.
I'm reminded of Red's (Morgan Freeman's) classic speech from "The Shawshank Redemption" --
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtwXlIwozog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtwXlIwozog
I'd tell myself to save more, compound interest is full of win.
If you've found a limitation in your world that makes you unable to do something, don't whine, rant, or try to fix it. Work around it and keep moving instead.
1. There is a big difference between understanding something and appreciating something
2. Remember that you can make the right decision and get the wrong outcome
2. Remember that you can make the right decision and get the wrong outcome
I wouldn't tell myself anything right away.
I'd listen for a long time.
I don't know yet but after that maybe I'd say something or ask something if it made sense to.
I'd listen for a long time.
I don't know yet but after that maybe I'd say something or ask something if it made sense to.
Surrender. Don't fight reality, go with it.
Buy all the two-letter, three-letter and dictionary word domain names possible and retire before going to college.
Use your own mind and explore. And above all, just don't settle and always raise the bar.
You wanted to figure out what it all meant, and you were right. Don't give up.
PS You love computer science.
PS You love computer science.
Don't do anything you wouldn't be proud to show your (theoretical, future) children.
Start hacking. It's all the fun of science but with the rigor you like in math.
Smoke weed, you pansy!
Smoking weed has nothing to do with courage...maybe you mean to say "resist silly laws"?
You sound as if you think you know me.
You're not as good a programmer as you think you are.
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Bored in class? Learn about those computer thingies.
-Video game is a waste of your time.
-Practice something everyday.
-Practice something everyday.
start coding now!
Never settle. You're worth more than that.
Ignore what people say; live for yourself.
"Don't listen to your parents so much."
Life Couldn't Have Been Any Better!!
[deleted]
Work hard, play hard.
Start a startup asap.
go to the doctor and ask for a full blood test.
travel and hang around more cafes
have more freedom in every way!!
Paraphrasing Rand, I think I would tell my younger self: Do not recognize anyone's right to one minute of your life, nor to any part of your energy, nor to any creation of yours, no matter how large their number nor how great their need.
Personally, I think I spent too much time in a futile effort to please parents and relatives and so forth. Later in life, I find that is not only a futile effort, it can also make one completely miserable, since one is not being one's truest self, but is acting as one perceives others want them to act or be. Reading Rand, I find that mistake is a common but grave mistake, underlying societal decay in much of history, namely, the mistake of living for others instead of oneself. So yeah, that would basically be it. If I could reach back a decade, and tell a copy of myself in a Everett-Wheeler parallel universe one thing, that would be it, the above paraphrase from 'The Fountainhead'. :-)
Personally, I think I spent too much time in a futile effort to please parents and relatives and so forth. Later in life, I find that is not only a futile effort, it can also make one completely miserable, since one is not being one's truest self, but is acting as one perceives others want them to act or be. Reading Rand, I find that mistake is a common but grave mistake, underlying societal decay in much of history, namely, the mistake of living for others instead of oneself. So yeah, that would basically be it. If I could reach back a decade, and tell a copy of myself in a Everett-Wheeler parallel universe one thing, that would be it, the above paraphrase from 'The Fountainhead'. :-)
Take Maths or Egyptology, no-one actually uses anything they learn in their degree in the real world, so just enjoy the undergrad opportunities to learn cool stuff.
I was curious what the YC crowd would say to this.
Personally, I'd tell myself to live for the moment. Don't worry about the future too much, as long as you have a good head on your shoulders things will work out. Before you know it years have flown by and you'll wonder where they went.
So, what would you tell yourself?