Thanks for this comment. I'm only nominally familiar with Asperger syndrome, but from what you say here it does sound consistent with Liam's behavior.
As time has progressed since this incident occurred, I have adopted various opinions about Liam's psychological profile. As I said in my article, at first it was necessary for me to believe he had some sort of disorder in order to forgive him. At other times, I needed to completely ignore it. Giving any thought to it felt like an attempt to excuse or justify his actions, and I needed someone to say "It doesn't matter. What he did is still wrong." Now I have enough emotional distance from it where I'm interested in what happened from an academic point of view. If Liam is suffering from an undiagnosed and untreated medical condition that could provide even a partial explanation for why he behaved as he did, I'm interested in that.
In Liam's specific case I do feel like male privilege, entitlement, and outright chauvinism played a role (I say this because of the blog post he wrote and other chauvinistic behaviors I witnessed). It may be possible that these character traits were born out of male privilege + Aspergers.
I am sorry that you went undiagnosed and treated for so long, and that you were bullied. Craving and needing human connections but largely being unable to attain them sounds like hell on earth to me. Especially when you don't know how to acquire those skills on your own and you aren't getting the help you need because no one understands the problem. I am quite sure I cannot begin to fathom the misery and despair you must have felt.
I was sexually assaulted a long time ago, and my therapist at the time recommended this book to me. I've re-read it many times.
What you say is a point that the book drives home many times. De Becker says it is better to stay away from a decent person than to allow a malicious person to get close to you. And if the person really is decent, they'll understand your reaction.
Thanks for this comment. I'm only nominally familiar with Asperger syndrome, but from what you say here it does sound consistent with Liam's behavior.
As time has progressed since this incident occurred, I have adopted various opinions about Liam's psychological profile. As I said in my article, at first it was necessary for me to believe he had some sort of disorder in order to forgive him. At other times, I needed to completely ignore it. Giving any thought to it felt like an attempt to excuse or justify his actions, and I needed someone to say "It doesn't matter. What he did is still wrong." Now I have enough emotional distance from it where I'm interested in what happened from an academic point of view. If Liam is suffering from an undiagnosed and untreated medical condition that could provide even a partial explanation for why he behaved as he did, I'm interested in that.
In Liam's specific case I do feel like male privilege, entitlement, and outright chauvinism played a role (I say this because of the blog post he wrote and other chauvinistic behaviors I witnessed). It may be possible that these character traits were born out of male privilege + Aspergers.
I am sorry that you went undiagnosed and treated for so long, and that you were bullied. Craving and needing human connections but largely being unable to attain them sounds like hell on earth to me. Especially when you don't know how to acquire those skills on your own and you aren't getting the help you need because no one understands the problem. I am quite sure I cannot begin to fathom the misery and despair you must have felt.
I'm very glad to hear you're doing better now.