kasharoo

  YOUR CAPS LOCK IS STUCK -> BASIC

  u r l33t -> Ruby

  Not afraid of significant whitespace -> 
      Python

  Not afraid of significant whitespace and wear a pocket protector ->
      Fortran

  You love getting messages <- Smalltalk

  You have an impressive, full beard -> Lisp

  You want a job -> Javascript

  You want a well-paying job -> Java/C#