I get your point, but I think the problem is with in-group behaviour. You are comfortable with swearing if you're very comfortable with the group dynamic.
But there are plenty of out-groups in technology along plenty of lines, who may privately be uncomfortable in this situation; and gender is only one of those lines.
If we pretend there is no problem with gender that needs addressing in this respect, it's not that we are excluding women: it's that we are excluding every aspect of diversity in technology.
Profanity is (deliberately) uncomfortable to people who are not part of your in-group. Women are more likely to be/feel excluded from in-groups in technology workplaces.
But there are plenty of out-groups in technology along plenty of lines, who may privately be uncomfortable in this situation; and gender is only one of those lines.
If we pretend there is no problem with gender that needs addressing in this respect, it's not that we are excluding women: it's that we are excluding every aspect of diversity in technology.