Japan’s Rent-a-Family Industry(newyorker.com)
newyorker.com
Japan’s Rent-a-Family Industry
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/04/30/japans-rent-a-family-industry
16 comments
I'm not sure how that's relevant. As others pointed out, even if it's very niche, it still exists. Yes, there are a number of articles fetishizing all of the "weird" aspects of Japan and perhaps in some way making them seem pervasive to people who haven't visited, but this article is doing absolutely none of that. (And even if it were, that's not the point.)
I'm going to gather you didn't make it past the first few paragraphs, because the entire point of the article, particularly in the last third, is an analysis of reality and what constitutes real relationships. The author tries to use this subculture to evaluate the context of families, unconditional love, and how money may or may not change the equation. For that reason, I think it's one of the best articles I've read recently, as it's a thought-provoking insight into human needs and the realities of modern relationships.
Give it another read. Just because the story takes place in Japan, doesn't mean it's about Japan.
I'm going to gather you didn't make it past the first few paragraphs, because the entire point of the article, particularly in the last third, is an analysis of reality and what constitutes real relationships. The author tries to use this subculture to evaluate the context of families, unconditional love, and how money may or may not change the equation. For that reason, I think it's one of the best articles I've read recently, as it's a thought-provoking insight into human needs and the realities of modern relationships.
Give it another read. Just because the story takes place in Japan, doesn't mean it's about Japan.
I think adding perspective is extremely relevant.
If I did not read sdrothrock's comment, I really would have a completely different view of Japan and Japanese society.
I often feel a lot of these Western articles on various Asian cultures to be quite disingenuous.
The point of the article is entirely different if this was a common occurrence in Japanese society versus it being based on a tiny, niche, that affects less than 0.1% of Japanese people.
As an analogy, imagine a Japanese article talking about "American family relationships" based on child beauty pageants and Honey Boo Boo.
If I did not read sdrothrock's comment, I really would have a completely different view of Japan and Japanese society.
I often feel a lot of these Western articles on various Asian cultures to be quite disingenuous.
The point of the article is entirely different if this was a common occurrence in Japanese society versus it being based on a tiny, niche, that affects less than 0.1% of Japanese people.
As an analogy, imagine a Japanese article talking about "American family relationships" based on child beauty pageants and Honey Boo Boo.
>I often feel a lot of these Western articles on various Asian cultures to be quite disingenuous.
Half of it is people that haven't lived abroad, and are not familiar with different cultures (or are only shallowly familiar) not being able to image a different way of life and set of values as "normal".
Another half of it is media wanting to paint a story such as that is larger and more impressive than it actually is.
Half of it is people that haven't lived abroad, and are not familiar with different cultures (or are only shallowly familiar) not being able to image a different way of life and set of values as "normal".
Another half of it is media wanting to paint a story such as that is larger and more impressive than it actually is.
> I'm going to gather you didn't make it past the first few paragraphs
I actually did and remain completely unconvinced despite the frame. There's another article from a few more months ago that was a lot more convincing and even wrote a positive comment reinforcing its content and pointing out how pervasive a problem loneliness can be in Japan and how the society really prevents people from making friends.
I would argue that the "point of the article" being buried in the "last third" isn't really the point, especially when the title is "Japan's Rent-a-Family Industry."
> I'm not sure how that's relevant.
To this point, my problem is that popular news focuses so much on "Japan is weird" and "Japan is exotic" that it creates and maintains an image of Japan as an ineffable other, which does a disservice to both the Japanese people and also to people who work with Japanese people and even really encourages a kind of subtle racism on both sides, where Japanese people are Japanese "because they are" -- they're just quixotic and traditional and exotic.
I say it encourages this on both sides because there's a movement among Japanese people called nihonjin-ron, which itself is an attempt to find things "uniquely Japanese," from the length of the large intestine (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10109809) to squatting ability (http://www.e-budo.com/forum/showthread.php?20037-Western-Kne...) to an apparent inability to learn English.
These kinds of articles are often enthusiastically pulled up as "oh yes, Japan is totally unique, see this!" and only serve to make a completely artificial barrier between cultures, one that is heightened by the fact that these articles are almost always the only ones that make popular news by virtue of being "weird."
I actually did and remain completely unconvinced despite the frame. There's another article from a few more months ago that was a lot more convincing and even wrote a positive comment reinforcing its content and pointing out how pervasive a problem loneliness can be in Japan and how the society really prevents people from making friends.
I would argue that the "point of the article" being buried in the "last third" isn't really the point, especially when the title is "Japan's Rent-a-Family Industry."
> I'm not sure how that's relevant.
To this point, my problem is that popular news focuses so much on "Japan is weird" and "Japan is exotic" that it creates and maintains an image of Japan as an ineffable other, which does a disservice to both the Japanese people and also to people who work with Japanese people and even really encourages a kind of subtle racism on both sides, where Japanese people are Japanese "because they are" -- they're just quixotic and traditional and exotic.
I say it encourages this on both sides because there's a movement among Japanese people called nihonjin-ron, which itself is an attempt to find things "uniquely Japanese," from the length of the large intestine (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10109809) to squatting ability (http://www.e-budo.com/forum/showthread.php?20037-Western-Kne...) to an apparent inability to learn English.
These kinds of articles are often enthusiastically pulled up as "oh yes, Japan is totally unique, see this!" and only serve to make a completely artificial barrier between cultures, one that is heightened by the fact that these articles are almost always the only ones that make popular news by virtue of being "weird."
>I'm not sure how that's relevant. As others pointed out, even if it's very niche, it still exists.
It still exists in the US too. So there's that.
https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/rentafriend-lets-buy-frien...
Besides, no information makes sense in isolation. Knowing that X exists or Y happened doesn't say much, if anything at all.
Why it exists, how prevalent it is, etc, is far more important.
"People eat dead babies in Finland" doesn't say anything -- it's actually downright misleading.
But:
"Two weirdos satanists pals stole a stillborn baby from a hospital in Finland and ate it" put things in the right perspective.
(P.S The Finish story never happened -- it's an example).
It still exists in the US too. So there's that.
https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/rentafriend-lets-buy-frien...
Besides, no information makes sense in isolation. Knowing that X exists or Y happened doesn't say much, if anything at all.
Why it exists, how prevalent it is, etc, is far more important.
"People eat dead babies in Finland" doesn't say anything -- it's actually downright misleading.
But:
"Two weirdos satanists pals stole a stillborn baby from a hospital in Finland and ate it" put things in the right perspective.
(P.S The Finish story never happened -- it's an example).
You don't have to imagine. Just look at the coverage of dog eating in Korea.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat_consumption_in_South_...
Yes, these services exist, yes some people use them, and yes, it's totally "weird Korea." However, this practice is sharply declining in the younger generations.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat_consumption_in_South_...
Yes, these services exist, yes some people use them, and yes, it's totally "weird Korea." However, this practice is sharply declining in the younger generations.
Not to mention that there's nothing "weird" about it.
Some areas eat frogs, others don't. Some areas eat squirrels, other don't. Some areas eat snails, other don't. Some areas eat horses (including major places like Italy) other's don't.
Some areas eat dogs, other's don't, and that's not just limited to Korea -- it happens throughout the globe:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat#By_region
Some areas eat frogs, others don't. Some areas eat squirrels, other don't. Some areas eat snails, other don't. Some areas eat horses (including major places like Italy) other's don't.
Some areas eat dogs, other's don't, and that's not just limited to Korea -- it happens throughout the globe:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat#By_region
Really, eating octopus should be considered like eating a dog or a dolphin. Those things are scary smart!
Scary tasty too!
My wife loves calamari, and orders it pretty much every chance she gets!
I think "industry" is a fine term. Lots of things that are relatively low diffusion are "industry".
Take:
Artificial limbs.
Antique fashion.
Independent supercars.
S&M goods.
Fake furniture props for selling houses.
Take:
Artificial limbs.
Antique fashion.
Independent supercars.
S&M goods.
Fake furniture props for selling houses.
I'm pretty sure each and every one* of those industries is several orders of magnitude larger than the industry for fake families. For example, there are 2 million people in the US alone with artificial limbs.
* ..except maybe independent supercars, and even then only if counting units sold and not dollars invested.
* ..except maybe independent supercars, and even then only if counting units sold and not dollars invested.
Ok, I'll grant you "niche industry". Kind of like the people that get hired to cry at funerals and such.
Do people really think this kind of thing is common? I mean, this is the first time I saw this article and I like learning about weird subcultures as much as the next person, but I tend to go in with the understanding that it made into an article precisely because it's obscure.
> Do people really think this kind of thing is common?
I think the use of the word "industry" is my main problem with it. An industry sounds big, like it has multiple companies and tons of customers.
I think the use of the word "industry" is my main problem with it. An industry sounds big, like it has multiple companies and tons of customers.
I must admit, I didn't really get a weird Japan vibe from the piece; the opening isn't holding the service up to any kind of ridicule. We all know that loneliness is chronic problem, and it felt as if Japan had found an unusual approach to coping with it.
> “She was acting as a rental daughter, but at the same time she was telling me how she felt as a real daughter,” he said. “And yet, if it was a real father-daughter relationship, maybe she wouldn’t have spoken this honestly.” ... Yūichi Ishii, the founder of Family Romance, told me that he and his “cast” actively strategize in order to engineer outcomes like Nishida’s, in which the rental family makes itself redundant in the client’s life.
> I thought about my missed shrink appointment, and about a psychology professor I met, Kenji Kameguchi, who has been trying for the past thirty years to popularize family therapy in conflict-averse, stoical Japan, where psychotherapy is still stigmatized. He said that he thought rental relatives were, in an unschooled way, fulfilling some of the functions of group-therapy techniques such as psychodrama, in which patients act out and improvise one another’s past situations or mental processes.
From this reading, it seems to me that Japan's fake relatives are the equivalent of counselors and psychiatrists in other countries.
> I thought about my missed shrink appointment, and about a psychology professor I met, Kenji Kameguchi, who has been trying for the past thirty years to popularize family therapy in conflict-averse, stoical Japan, where psychotherapy is still stigmatized. He said that he thought rental relatives were, in an unschooled way, fulfilling some of the functions of group-therapy techniques such as psychodrama, in which patients act out and improvise one another’s past situations or mental processes.
From this reading, it seems to me that Japan's fake relatives are the equivalent of counselors and psychiatrists in other countries.
If truth be told, the ersatz family, in some form or another, has been an important function in society since time immemorial. We're just not always honest with ourselves about it, and it's much easier to see it and comment about it from the distance of another culture.
I am reminded of the sad story from this Dar Williams song, where young partiers and the stock photos from picture frames serve this function for a Peter Pan syndrome man.
https://g.co/kgs/oM3hCR
I am reminded of the sad story from this Dar Williams song, where young partiers and the stock photos from picture frames serve this function for a Peter Pan syndrome man.
https://g.co/kgs/oM3hCR
I cannot help but get irked at the pity-projections that the western media has on Japan.
The structure of the article itself is made to sound how the war has damaged the social aspects of Japan - and how the numbers prove so. It starts with the story of a person using these services, till a point you realize the satire. Then the downfalls of such services while gracefully pushing in some irrelevant history.
In reality, showing this article to any average Japanese person in Japan, they would feel this is absurd. No such industry exists, there are a couple of weird companies popping up everywhere across the globe. Heard about the fake social media pictures company in the USA?
These articles need to stop! Every publication is increasingly posting these uncanny ideas about how strange this country is, too much western obsession.
The structure of the article itself is made to sound how the war has damaged the social aspects of Japan - and how the numbers prove so. It starts with the story of a person using these services, till a point you realize the satire. Then the downfalls of such services while gracefully pushing in some irrelevant history.
In reality, showing this article to any average Japanese person in Japan, they would feel this is absurd. No such industry exists, there are a couple of weird companies popping up everywhere across the globe. Heard about the fake social media pictures company in the USA?
These articles need to stop! Every publication is increasingly posting these uncanny ideas about how strange this country is, too much western obsession.
This sounds pretty wacky at first blush...then I remember a time post-college, post-divorce where I would go to hibachi restaurants because they would seat me with other people.
It wasn't a long period of time, but loneliness can be a real and powerful thing. Everyone is happy to offer solutions, but few actually acknowledge how it feels while you're trying to get a solution to work.
It wasn't a long period of time, but loneliness can be a real and powerful thing. Everyone is happy to offer solutions, but few actually acknowledge how it feels while you're trying to get a solution to work.
If I pay extra, will they make awkward politically-charged comments in front of my friends, just like the real thing?
I'm not racist, but...
I think that was a comment about families in general, not about these particular people.
I think something like this could work in the U.S. ...esp. tailored at introverts, but add a bit of psychology to the mix, instead of hiring 'relatives' ... hire people to basically help you not be so 'lonely', and also help you to come out of your shell, maybe you struggle talking to women, they might be able to help you with that and help you become a good conversationalist -- etc... I get the grandma ordering up grand children though, it can be really lonely when everyone you know is dead, or gone off to start their own families.
A niche someone could start if they were so inclined might be: 'Big in Japan' .. take some of these weird Japan customs/business ideas and make one umbrella company that does it all--so anyone moving to US from Japan can continue those customs, etc... but it's broader so it's not so niche as to not have a place.
A niche someone could start if they were so inclined might be: 'Big in Japan' .. take some of these weird Japan customs/business ideas and make one umbrella company that does it all--so anyone moving to US from Japan can continue those customs, etc... but it's broader so it's not so niche as to not have a place.
Something strikes me as odd about things like this. There is regular discussion here on HN about how lonely some people are, depressive isolation, and so on. And yet here people view this as 'well that's weird' for having a company, however obscure, that would provide a product that could remedy this solution.
I see it as little different than prostitution. Somebody wants something that's fulfills a need that's generally provided for free * , yet if those unwilling, unable, or uninteresting in fulfilling this desire are willing to pay for it then why in the world aren't there more companies offering it? I don't think this would even inherently entail a denial of reality. It's just a way for people to fulfill another psychosocial need.
I see it as little different than prostitution. Somebody wants something that's fulfills a need that's generally provided for free * , yet if those unwilling, unable, or uninteresting in fulfilling this desire are willing to pay for it then why in the world aren't there more companies offering it? I don't think this would even inherently entail a denial of reality. It's just a way for people to fulfill another psychosocial need.
What a sad world we live in where there are people who need this sort of thing. The worst part is, I get it.
Totally, at first I thought it's weird also but after reading Kazushige Nishida's story, it's understandable. I may use this service if I were in his shoes.
There is a Greek movie based on the exact same idea. Its the "Alps" by George Lanthimos (later known from "Dogtooth" movie).
I don't about Japan, but that movie had a quite depressing ending (not to mention that the whole thing was kinda creepy and unsettling).
I don't about Japan, but that movie had a quite depressing ending (not to mention that the whole thing was kinda creepy and unsettling).
There is also, unsurprisingly, a Japanese movie based on that exact same idea. More than one, in fact.
It plays a part in Noriko's Dinner Table.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noriko%27s_Dinner_Table
This is referenced in the plot summary: [...] As it turns out, however, Kumiko has no real family, and the people she introduced Noriko to are paid actors working for Kumiko's organisation, I.C. Corp. The organisation offers paid roleplay services to interested clients, allowing them to fulfill their fantasies of a happy family life.
It plays a part in Noriko's Dinner Table.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noriko%27s_Dinner_Table
This is referenced in the plot summary: [...] As it turns out, however, Kumiko has no real family, and the people she introduced Noriko to are paid actors working for Kumiko's organisation, I.C. Corp. The organisation offers paid roleplay services to interested clients, allowing them to fulfill their fantasies of a happy family life.
“I thought I was a strong person,”But when you end up alone you feel very lonely.”
BOOM right there... Loneliness and isolation causes people to do weird and desperate things. If you're lonely and isolating it might be time to join a group or get a pet. There are thousands upon thousands of groups everywhere and online (though meeting in person is preferred to combat the isolation part).
Personally I see these types of "industries" as predatory... they are no different from the snake-oil salesman selling a dying man a cure for cancer.
BOOM right there... Loneliness and isolation causes people to do weird and desperate things. If you're lonely and isolating it might be time to join a group or get a pet. There are thousands upon thousands of groups everywhere and online (though meeting in person is preferred to combat the isolation part).
Personally I see these types of "industries" as predatory... they are no different from the snake-oil salesman selling a dying man a cure for cancer.
I have always been seeing this as a solid need especially in Japan. I know several people in japan who recently divorced that experience loneliness, they would host dinners and meet-ups like every week or so. Plus young people are dating less and less here, Plus Plus there are a lot of socially awkward people who will have a hard time trying to build a family.
"Plus young people are dating less and less here" - I keep seeing this a lot. Why are people dating less and less?
The short answer is money. <50 people now work the same amount as their parents generation for much less money and benefits.
People are more interested in spending the money and time they have on hanging out with their friends or their hobbies than dating.
Basically all of Japan’s “problems” boil down to society cutting inputs then acting shocked that the output has dropped, then choosing to blame the younger generations instead of helping them. Cf. avocado toast in the west
People are more interested in spending the money and time they have on hanging out with their friends or their hobbies than dating.
Basically all of Japan’s “problems” boil down to society cutting inputs then acting shocked that the output has dropped, then choosing to blame the younger generations instead of helping them. Cf. avocado toast in the west
When it comes to life in Tokyo in particular, people really do not have time for anything outside of work and a small slice of time on weekends (if you even get that--overtime is even more crushing if you're a man since you're born to work). When you factor in the overtime and 45-90 minute commutes each way, that really doesn't leave any time to do anything else. In smaller cities, the commute isn't nearly as bad as Tokyo so that provides a little more breathing room, and that's why I chose to live away from Tokyo despite fewer job options and being in a fairly "boring" town.
And when it comes to money, it's primarily based on age and nothing else. A 59 year old thumb twiddler counting down the days until he can retire and chug some beers from morning to night will easily be getting paid more than double a 28 year old engineer whose work is the backbone of the company.
And when it comes to money, it's primarily based on age and nothing else. A 59 year old thumb twiddler counting down the days until he can retire and chug some beers from morning to night will easily be getting paid more than double a 28 year old engineer whose work is the backbone of the company.
Largely because career women can afford their own condo and trip to Hawaii now.
After they get married, typically women lose their job and end up as a bitter homemaker waiting around for their drunk husband to arrive on the last train.
After they get married, typically women lose their job and end up as a bitter homemaker waiting around for their drunk husband to arrive on the last train.
I am biased cause I went to engineering school where people typically dates even less. What people are saying is that both for boy and girls it feels a lot to commit if you decide to start a relationship right now. Way cozier just to hang out with your friends instead. I personally think it have something to do with the culture that rewards people play safe and not attack.
Here's an interview with the founder of the rent-a-family agency mentioned in the article: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/11/paying-fo...
Link to previous HN discussion on this article: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15651510
This reads like an amazing work of fiction.
Every culture has their own "weirdness". It might seem weird to some us, but hey, who are we to tell them how to cope up with their lives if we can't even fix our own.
Don't worry, it's very weird in Japan too.
That story brought tears to my eyes.
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So in that vein, here's my comment on that one:
Getting a little tired of these showing up. Yes, these services exist, yes some people use them, and yes, it's totally "weird Japan."
But no, they're not anywhere NEAR mainstream. I think using the word "industry" really makes the reader think it is and imagine a huge, dysfunctional society. I do appreciate the paragraph or so where they point out that this kind of thing has existed and does exist in other countries, as well -- I just don't understand why people always insist on pointing at a minor subculture in Japan and writing entire spiels about it as if it were a common thing.
Imagine a Japanese writer talking about the "greased pig chasing industry" in America.