A few years ago when things got bad for me, my practical options were heroin, trust a doctor, or suicide. I might add buprenorphine/suboxone to the list now, but we'll see.
I chose heroin initially as a guaranteed short term solution, it did literally save my life at the time.
I was lucky to have the skills and resources to carefully purify and prepare it in isotonic sterile injection vials, ready for quick use. Moderate dosages worked perfectly, it instantly ended 4AM "episodes", I could function and think clearly again, and avoid missing work while I figured out what to do long term.
More importantly, I'm lucky to either have massive self control or lack the propensity for addiction. I tapered off on my own and saw a doctor, worked with them trying a variety of medications until finally given a choice of several benzos, which worked reasonably well overall.
I do recognize side effects with them, but without them I know I would be doing much much worse right now, at least I have a chance to keep going.
A few years ago when things got bad for me, my practical options were heroin, trust a doctor, or suicide. I might add buprenorphine/suboxone to the list now, but we'll see.
I chose heroin initially as a guaranteed short term solution, it did literally save my life at the time.
I was lucky to have the skills and resources to carefully purify and prepare it in isotonic sterile injection vials, ready for quick use. Moderate dosages worked perfectly, it instantly ended 4AM "episodes", I could function and think clearly again, and avoid missing work while I figured out what to do long term.
More importantly, I'm lucky to either have massive self control or lack the propensity for addiction. I tapered off on my own and saw a doctor, worked with them trying a variety of medications until finally given a choice of several benzos, which worked reasonably well overall.
I do recognize side effects with them, but without them I know I would be doing much much worse right now, at least I have a chance to keep going.