I agree with most of what you said; however, I believe that once you really understand yourself you also:
1. Understand others, therefore can describe them in a way suited to their way of thinking. This is probably controversial assumption but I believe people are unconstrained, everyone can understand everything, it may just require more time.
If you believe people are constrained, or just don't want to spend time on them—find people who are capable of understanding you right away. By being honest about yourself you will attract like-minded people. The process of "explaining yourself" obligates you to approach new people (not only your current closest) and explain them your existence. If you feel understood only by your closest friends, then you are not good at expressing yourself.
2. become less self-concerned. You no longer seek validation and significance—you are fine with being normal. You no longer need someone who will make you less lonely, someone who will fix your flaws. You no longer focus on yourself (you know this guy good enough), rather, you pay all the attention to others, you become emphatic, which connects with others, and thus you become less lonely.
3. You can honesty communicate your needs, fears, desires, emotions. They are part of you, and hence it's your responsibility to explain them to others. Don't expect people to read your mind. Don't run away using abstractions, give concrete examples. If you believe in small lies for a greater good, then you are not communicating yourself. If you consider breaking up with your SO, talk about it with him/her, not your friends. If your boss annoys you, tell him which actions annoys you. It requires a lot of courage therefore little people do so, but not doing it results in loneliness. You have a choice.
Also, I would not be surprised if Nobel price ideas were invented under the shower. Actually it's the most likely that synthesis happens during the diffused mode of thinking, which happens under the relaxation like shower.
I don't claim my idea is worth Nobel price. I just explained in succinct (possibly over-simplified) way my experience of feeling misunderstood for most of my life and the solution that finally helped me.
I shared it to validate whether it's a solution to all causes of loneliness or just mine.
Logical equations explain the principles of the universe, they made us travel to the moon, why wouldn't they be able to explain phenomena related to feelings?
Good point. That's why a lot of people (who use online tests only) get mistyped and cross out the theory.
Many cognitive biases hinder revealing our true selves and so our true personality type. That's why finding out your true personality type is hard, and usually takes much longer than 5 min online test.
According to Jung, the personality type does not change. Your whole personality does change, but the personality type does not. Over time, you try different attitudes but always get back to your default state, you may revisit your values and beliefs, and you may loosen social inhibitions, but your default patterns of thoughts and actions stay the same.
The problem with personality types is that people understand i.e. extrovert as someone who loves parties and charges being with people, and introvert as someone who is depressed and reads a lot of books.
Personality type is much deeper. Personality type explains:
- why do some people tend to focus on the future more than the present moment;
- why do some people focus more on making good things happen than preventing bad things from happening;
- why do some people are prone to generalisation before collecting enough facts, while others can not say anything more than the facts they gathered;
- why do some people are more focused on themselves while others on influencing others?
and many more. At its core, it has nothing to do with shyness, depression, social skills, intelligence, etc. Those are just results of following your strengths or neglecting your weaknesses. Personality type can help you with spotting your strengths and weaknesses and better understanding others, so you communicate using their prefered language, not yours.
Practical Vim seems amazing, pushed it on top of my to-read stack :D
By "Wait But Why" you mean this one ? The Elon Musk Blog Series: Wait But Why by Tim Urban
Man search for meaning - I think that most people, at some point in their life face with the big question "What is the purpose of life ?". Author of this book is the one who can handle this huge question because he survived death camps, and noticed what give people will to live. Highly recommended.
Flow: Psychology of optimal experience - If you want do double down the concept of Flow (situations where you are so involved that you forgot to eat for the whole day (programming in my case)), how to achieve these situations, and how they work.
The lessions of history - This book is just a mine of great golden nugget thoughts.
Slight Edge - Stop looking for easy paths, for quantum leaps. Yes, this is hard, this is a slow path. But you need to follow it to achieve what you want from life. But do it wisely.
Thinking fast and slow and The power of habbit are also great :)
Here you can find more of my favorite books: https://stasbar.com/