Because life is the master of all games, it's incredibly hard, but as long as you don't physically die there is always a new life waiting for you to start once you push that reset button.
There is nothing that compares to it, no other game is as rich, as deep and complex with endless opportunities for improvisation.
Have you ever played a game that you can't possibly win, but you kept trying, fighting, again and again, with a grin on your face because it was so epic? This is how life can be, once you let go of the fear of losing. No matter if everything is burning around you, if it keeps kicking you down, even adversity can become your power, your scream for meaningfulness in a mad mad world.
I had a really bad year in 2014. Anxiety attacks, dark thoughts, I know what you are going through. Meditation is what got me through. If you can't afford therapy you should really try.
Before you reject it of hand, I don't mean you should start believing crazy things about chakras and other stuff if that is not part of your culture. It doesn't matter if you are an atheist, a christian or a muslim, or whatever else, meditation itself is a scientific tool, it's how you become a researcher of your own mind. Just sit down, and for 20 minutes try to stick with your breathing. If you can, try to think about any people or things in your life that you are grateful for. That really does wonders.
Lastly, I've experienced a similar relapse after I was doing quite well for some time. Maybe what you are feeling now is the last fortress of darkness before everything becomes better again. Keep helping people, you will push through for sure.
Because life is the master of all games, it's incredibly hard, but as long as you don't physically die there is always a new life waiting for you to start once you push that reset button.
There is nothing that compares to it, no other game is as rich, as deep and complex with endless opportunities for improvisation.
Have you ever played a game that you can't possibly win, but you kept trying, fighting, again and again, with a grin on your face because it was so epic? This is how life can be, once you let go of the fear of losing. No matter if everything is burning around you, if it keeps kicking you down, even adversity can become your power, your scream for meaningfulness in a mad mad world.
I had a really bad year in 2014. Anxiety attacks, dark thoughts, I know what you are going through. Meditation is what got me through. If you can't afford therapy you should really try.
Before you reject it of hand, I don't mean you should start believing crazy things about chakras and other stuff if that is not part of your culture. It doesn't matter if you are an atheist, a christian or a muslim, or whatever else, meditation itself is a scientific tool, it's how you become a researcher of your own mind. Just sit down, and for 20 minutes try to stick with your breathing. If you can, try to think about any people or things in your life that you are grateful for. That really does wonders.
I've found a lot of wisdom in Michael Carroll's books, that explain how to become fearless, using Buddhist teachings but without having to accept Buddhist dogmas. You can find them: http://www.amazon.com/Awake-Work-Practical-Principles-Discov... http://www.amazon.com/Fearless-Work-Confidence-Resilience-Cr...
Lastly, I've experienced a similar relapse after I was doing quite well for some time. Maybe what you are feeling now is the last fortress of darkness before everything becomes better again. Keep helping people, you will push through for sure.
Hope this helps