“What do you think?”(medium.com)
medium.com
“What do you think?”
https://medium.com/keep-learning-keep-growing/what-do-you-think-930ea72d8e99
3 comments
This is a good article.
Four simple words that convey so much: I care about what you think, I want to listen to you, I respect you, I trust you.
If you work with creative teams, try to use it sometimes. It doesn’t cost much, and you might be surprised by the results.
Yeah, that's the optimistic version. I'm the creative team member sort of referenced and in my experience that's a fishing question. Fishing for an answer that can go either way - either the answer is suitable and an out for the asker, or an opportunity to lay down some management style "keep you in check" disagreement.
Think of the movie Training Day. Put yourself in the subordinate position. Even when you give a praise worthy response, it's at the whim of the leader. YMMV.
Four simple words that convey so much: I care about what you think, I want to listen to you, I respect you, I trust you.
If you work with creative teams, try to use it sometimes. It doesn’t cost much, and you might be surprised by the results.
Yeah, that's the optimistic version. I'm the creative team member sort of referenced and in my experience that's a fishing question. Fishing for an answer that can go either way - either the answer is suitable and an out for the asker, or an opportunity to lay down some management style "keep you in check" disagreement.
Think of the movie Training Day. Put yourself in the subordinate position. Even when you give a praise worthy response, it's at the whim of the leader. YMMV.
It's not that simple. Good communication is not about treating everyone the same.
"What do you think?"
Nine times out of ten, on non-trivial issues, I think that we shouldn't be making this decision here and now. The fact that you're prepared to just take an opinion (generally I have several things I can think of, none of which are held particularly strongly yet) without weighing up the pros and cons is somewhat terrifying to me.
I think: 'You're asking for my opinion of something important. And this is just not the way that one communicates on important issues - it's not professional. I will write you something, backed by appropriate research that will let me take a better guess at what's going on, so that we can make a good decision rather than us just pulling the decision out of our arse here and now.'
Sure, I'll meet you half way. Trivial issues, sure - simple question, simple answer. Complex issues? Brief me on what the meeting's going to be about beforehand and I'll put in some background reading first, we can hopefully have a decent discussion once everyone's done their homework. But... it's not a matter of just asking the question. There's significant investment in working well together there on both sides - in getting to know me, me getting to know you... us having that good working relationship that makes the question relevant and likely to be answered well.
These sorts of articles are a bit like an iceberg; a little bit above the water, lots beneath. Or the old, 'Elephant in a room surrounded by blind men.'
If you want to know what someone thinks, yeah ask them. But... you can't just ask someone the question and expect appropriate or desired output to magically appear. It relies on good relationships, correct incentives, certain power distributions, the people involved communicating in the right style, and so on...
If you know your teams, then getting input is not particularly difficult. You note how different people like to be treated and what seems to bring out the best in them. You've talked to them a lot, you've helped them develop their skills and careers. If you don't, then you end up with this sort of generalised response to something that worked for you.
The question asked to someone else, and the manner it was asked in, may very well be entirely different. That's what gifted communicators do - not just pop magical questions but alter the way they're communicating to get the best out of people who are very different in the ways they think.
"What do you think?"
Nine times out of ten, on non-trivial issues, I think that we shouldn't be making this decision here and now. The fact that you're prepared to just take an opinion (generally I have several things I can think of, none of which are held particularly strongly yet) without weighing up the pros and cons is somewhat terrifying to me.
I think: 'You're asking for my opinion of something important. And this is just not the way that one communicates on important issues - it's not professional. I will write you something, backed by appropriate research that will let me take a better guess at what's going on, so that we can make a good decision rather than us just pulling the decision out of our arse here and now.'
Sure, I'll meet you half way. Trivial issues, sure - simple question, simple answer. Complex issues? Brief me on what the meeting's going to be about beforehand and I'll put in some background reading first, we can hopefully have a decent discussion once everyone's done their homework. But... it's not a matter of just asking the question. There's significant investment in working well together there on both sides - in getting to know me, me getting to know you... us having that good working relationship that makes the question relevant and likely to be answered well.
These sorts of articles are a bit like an iceberg; a little bit above the water, lots beneath. Or the old, 'Elephant in a room surrounded by blind men.'
If you want to know what someone thinks, yeah ask them. But... you can't just ask someone the question and expect appropriate or desired output to magically appear. It relies on good relationships, correct incentives, certain power distributions, the people involved communicating in the right style, and so on...
If you know your teams, then getting input is not particularly difficult. You note how different people like to be treated and what seems to bring out the best in them. You've talked to them a lot, you've helped them develop their skills and careers. If you don't, then you end up with this sort of generalised response to something that worked for you.
The question asked to someone else, and the manner it was asked in, may very well be entirely different. That's what gifted communicators do - not just pop magical questions but alter the way they're communicating to get the best out of people who are very different in the ways they think.
TL;DR: Fan greatly motivated by interaction with celebrity.