If the headline were "The Earth is Flat" the article could be about a lot of things, such as a sci-fi story. So yeah, it would require a click to know if it's "false".
What is Cpython if not a C library? I imagine that makes Python not a programming language as well?
The title is obviously a provocation to spark discussion, and you could have done a better job engaging in it instead of dividing everything into true or false. "HTH"!
Not strange at all! Leave those assumptions behind, take a look at symfony/console and minicli. PHP is not shiny or snarky as Python, but resilient and "boring". The "dirtness" that you are feeling is just a way to keep those insufferable people that you mentioned out.