One thing is if some soldiers use it to have Google Meet video calls from the battle field. That's comparable to selling some consumer laptops to the army - nobody cares.
Entirely another thing - and now I mean the US ITAR perspective - is if it's used literally as key and unique capability enabling part of a drone weapon. Now that makes it a weapon too. SpaceX doesn't have the US government's approval to manufacture weapons, export weapons or sell them to Ukraine army. The terminal or the constellation itself must not be used as a weapon according to the US law, and the operator must do everything to stop such use.
You should be angry with the US government. Biden could go live on the TV right now and say "Mr. Musk, it's fine - we allow it.". And if Musk didn't do it anyways, then you'd be right to be angry with him. But the US government didn't and won't do that.
Take it to your elected representative, not to a businessman doing what the law requires him to do.
You know what was the biggest fail, IMHO? That UA soldiers put the video online. Up until nobody knew, nobody cared. They carried out several attacks. Then they showed the world - and of course it got banned, there is no other option on SpaceX or Musk's side.
Many, many Starlink terminals and service subscriptions used in war zones by members of the UA army are donated and/or fully or partially paid for by private people - ukrainians and many more nationalities (including UAE). I personally helped stuff a van full of Starlink terminals and drones and my friend drove it to the UA border (though this was a much larger group effort than just us - especially the finance and sourcing).
The UA army command is doing everything it can, but it's not unlimited and everywhere. The war effort relies on help of private individuals and groups a lot. Many soldiers are using equipment sourced entirely from private sources - all they got officially was a uniform and gun. All the drone videos you see on the internet - these are almost 100% bought privately.
For a long time, that was what everyone used. But there always were tutorials about other languages - C++, Pascal, even C#. Now Rust is gaining traction.
One of the biggest challenges is that the fusion reaction can't be fully contained. There are particles without electric charge that simply go through your magnetic containment field and smash into the reactor wall, continuously destroying it. You don't really care about preserving the shell of your bomb. You care about preserving the shell of your reactor.