In essence, HR is the buffer between humans and systems. They create the systems that allow humans to do things like work and be compensated for their work, or to work in an environment where they can expect not to be harassed—at baseline. They clean up everyone's mess when the interface between human and system is compromised.
If a system breaks down, it's HR's job to figure out how to handle the errors. Every company's HR will encounter unwinnable situations where all HR can do is remember the "error code" for next time and, if they're lucky, create systems or policies that prevent it from happening again.
Some (very few) companies have more thoughtfully designed systems that enable the HR team to act proactively on behalf of the employees.
And some (most) companies are poorly structured such that the system is constantly breaking and it's HR's job to keep the company's cadence going as best they can.
I'm guessing most people in this thread have experienced more of the latter.
Simple things to focus on without needing outside help with: sleep, diet, exercise, and a means to reflect.
More advanced / things that might require help: blood work, therapy, medication.
Sleep: Many chronic conditions are exacerbated by lack of sleep. There's been a general push for better quality sleep lately, but I still feel like we're not placing enough importance on sleep. Without good sleep, your diet and exercise won't be anywhere near as effective. Some easy wins: blackout shades, white noise machine, avoid blue light in the evening, and find a consistent bed / wake time.
Diet: Your mental and physical well being is a rolling average of the things you eat. Cheat days are fine; cheat weeks are not. A lot of chronic conditions come from inflammation, which can largely be improved by eating smaller meals with more colors in them (for most people). We’re only just discovering how important a healthy microbiome is for both physical and mental health. Eat more things that have or had roots. Eat less red meat. Find a good probiotic. HYDRATE. Most people don’t drink nearly enough water—so many issues disappear when you get enough water. Easy wins: use spices, avoid fried food, consider intermittent fasting (good for inflammation) if your doctor is okay with it.
Exercise: I hardly do it for physical reasons (though they are very positive), but instead for chemical reasons. Exercise is very important for your brain, and to flush toxins. I play soccer and lift weights, but you might find something else that you enjoy. Getting your body moving can make a very big difference with chronic conditions. Get the lungs and blood pumping. Easy wins: go for a walk after eating, do 10 pushups + squats + situps after a Zoom call or when you finish a task.
Reflect: Whether you do a 5-minute journal, transcendental meditation, 'Getting Thing Done', or whatever system is popular today... give yourself time to zero out your “stress box” the same way people zero out their email inbox. I personally enjoy using an infrared sauna several times a week—30-45min of uninterrupted time to let my thoughts go. An adrenal system that is constantly bombarded by stress causes so many of the chronic diseases that people suffer from (such as my own thyroid). The more you learn to de-stress, the better you become at detecting when you feel mentally or physically stressed. It takes time. Easy wins: schedule time to unwind on a consistent basis, learn some simple breathing techniques (here is a good one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FyE3VOWJI0 ), find a ritual you enjoy.
Bloodwork, therapy, medication: it helps to have a few thorough blood panels done so you can get a good idea about where your body needs some assistance. Chronic illness doesn’t always manifest itself the same way in everyone. If you can afford it, find a doctor who charges per unit of time and not per visit; they will be better able to properly listen to your problems and work towards fixing the cause of the problem rather than just the symptoms. Just as a chronic illness doesn’t mean you’re broken, medication also won’t fix you. It takes time to figure things out and adjust your lifestyle.
Chronic illness can be very stressful, and sometimes people might tell you there’s nothing wrong with you even though you have the deep sensation that something is. Consider seeing a therapist. Doesn’t necessarily need to be for psychological reasons. I personally visit a physical therapist 2-3 times a month as a way to better understand how my body is feeling and where I can make improvements over time. Being receptive to help is a big first step for many people.
The big insight in this post to me is learning how someone else handles a crisis of identity. Something you usually don't know you're going through until it's over and have had time to reflect.
Put in time on one of the three each day until you fatigue.
Work then on one of the smaller goals.
Cross one off? File it for future reference, then replace.
Don't be hesitant to edit out and replace outdated goals. Your perspective can (and absolutely should) change quickly as you accomplish things you set out to do.
I just had a discussion about this with my physical therapist yesterday. In Texas, only three types of people are allowed to touch patients for healing purposes: doctors, certified therapists, and priests.
In many cases, the certification process for therapy is such a time and money sink that people will become priests in small "religions" as a legal workaround to taking 1yr+ of archaic training.
Visit a site like http://behance.net and find layouts that inspire you. Spend part of your side project time replicating those styles and understanding/learning why the design decisions were made for that project.
Remember, design is problem solving. Art is expression.
Good design doesn't have to be pretty, and prettiness doesn't mean a design is good.
My assumption is your side project is for learning or enjoyment's sake. Learning design is a great way to spend that time. If the side project is purely for economic gain, instead spend your time refining your taste for design, learning how to articulate your taste, and recruiting designers who share a similar taste.
Similarly: if you are getting upset in such a fashion, it can help to take a literal step back from the situation (or idea) causing it—go for a short walk. From a long-term perspective, getting upset over one small thing is not worth the mental anguish and lost time.
For me, it boils down to minimizing distractions and having a low baseline of stress and dissonance.
Default to "no." Simple math: if you say no to almost everything, you are free to say yes to the really important things. This is a skill you can practice and get better at. This is more specific to deals and opportunities than spending time with colleagues, friends, and family. However, if you find yourself constantly in meetings or going out, start saying "no" until it feels special each time, or you get home feeling energized instead of drained.
Determining who you are NOT matters more than determining who you are. It's easier to make a hard decision if you have established your own principles and developed a strong sense of personal integrity. You hear people and companies say what they will do to reach their goals, but you hardly hear them say what they won't do—which to me shows much more clarity in thought.
"Stressbox": Your mail has an inbox that all mail comes through and your brain has a "stressbox" that life keeps adding to. Just as it's okay to delete an email, you are totally fine removing a point of stress from your life. Unsubscribe from things that stress you out so you can have a lower baseline of stress.
"Life Tax": Shit happens... If you are prepared, it feels inconsequential. If you are unprepared, it feels like things spiral out of control or become overwhelming. You can't dodge or defer life taxes—so pay them as they come in. The people you see (or maybe know) who constantly have "bad luck" are likely not paying their life tax on time.
Diet, sleep, exercise, and a means to reflect are needed in combination. Your cumulative diet dictates how you feel next week. Eat generally healthy and you'll feel generally good—don't be afraid of a treat. The highest performers across many professions tend to sleep the most. Exercise helps make better use of the foods you are eating and helps produce the hormones you need to think clearly.
One concept I appreciate: you can bridge two common skills together in a way such that you are uniquely qualified to practice this combination of skills and you have zero (or near-zero) competition.
A common argument for vinegar is that the microbiome in your gut needs bacteria to feed on nutrients your body doesn't absorb easily (fiber) and that vinegar (usually apple cider vinegar) helps the bacteria in your gut digest this fiber (via fermentation).
Basically, vinegar makes your stomach bacteria happy, which makes your greater digestive tract happy in turn.
I don't know how true this is, but I do know greater amounts of research are being done on the microbiome as of late, and we're learning just how important it is for our overall health. So it wouldn't surprise me if this explanation is close to correct.
Specifically, look into myofascial release therapy or muscle activation therapy.
Without seeing a therapist, try doing this every day or every few days to elongate your 'posterior chain' and help your posture reset (which will help your knees, ankles, elbows operate under less duress): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BOTvaRaDjI
Similar to what Cal Fussman says, "the good shit sticks."
To me, reading is more about developing an internal vocabulary that makes it easy to bridge two ideas together—ultimately enabling you to create ideas of your own. With more ideas to pull from, you can ask yourself better questions.
If a system breaks down, it's HR's job to figure out how to handle the errors. Every company's HR will encounter unwinnable situations where all HR can do is remember the "error code" for next time and, if they're lucky, create systems or policies that prevent it from happening again.
Some (very few) companies have more thoughtfully designed systems that enable the HR team to act proactively on behalf of the employees.
And some (most) companies are poorly structured such that the system is constantly breaking and it's HR's job to keep the company's cadence going as best they can.
I'm guessing most people in this thread have experienced more of the latter.