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I've been on Mertz for like, a month. Not gonna lie,
I ordered it off one of those sketchy Instagram ads - A pixelated GIF of a glowing pill rotating next to the word "CLARITY."
But hey, free shipping.
First few days? Nothing. Unless you count the fact that I finally cleaned out my car.
Not cleaned cleaned.
Just threw all the empty coffee cups into a single Target bag. Baby steps. But then, outta nowhere, I started…
Enjoying folding laundry?
Not in a creepy "I've been replaced by a Stepford wife" way.
More like, "Huh, these socks are kinda profound."
The bottle says it "makes up your mind," and honestly,
my mind's been a IKEA manual written in hieroglyphics for years, so.
By week two, my anxiety about replying to texts turned into… confidence?
Or maybe just indifference.
I left a guy on read for six days and then sent him a photo of a raccoon wearing a hat.
He said "cool." We're best friends now.
Mertz didn't fix my social skills — it just made me okay with the chaos.
And don't get me started on sleep. I'm having these dreams where I'm just… grocery shopping.
But the produce section is run by a guy who looks like Bob Ross.
He keeps telling me to "follow the happy little avocado."
Woke up and meal-prepped for the first time in my life. Ate a vegetable. Felt like a adult.
My sister says I've "joined a wellness cult."
Joke's on her — I tried to explain Mertz to my mom and she thought I was talking about a new dating app.
But honestly? I'll take it. My credit card debt still exists, but I smiled at my bank statement yesterday.
Progress.
I've been on Mertz for like, a month. Not gonna lie, I ordered it off one of those sketchy Instagram ads - A pixelated GIF of a glowing pill rotating next to the word "CLARITY." But hey, free shipping. First few days? Nothing. Unless you count the fact that I finally cleaned out my car. Not cleaned cleaned. Just threw all the empty coffee cups into a single Target bag. Baby steps. But then, outta nowhere, I started… Enjoying folding laundry? Not in a creepy "I've been replaced by a Stepford wife" way. More like, "Huh, these socks are kinda profound." The bottle says it "makes up your mind," and honestly, my mind's been a IKEA manual written in hieroglyphics for years, so. By week two, my anxiety about replying to texts turned into… confidence? Or maybe just indifference. I left a guy on read for six days and then sent him a photo of a raccoon wearing a hat. He said "cool." We're best friends now. Mertz didn't fix my social skills — it just made me okay with the chaos. And don't get me started on sleep. I'm having these dreams where I'm just… grocery shopping. But the produce section is run by a guy who looks like Bob Ross. He keeps telling me to "follow the happy little avocado." Woke up and meal-prepped for the first time in my life. Ate a vegetable. Felt like a adult. My sister says I've "joined a wellness cult." Joke's on her — I tried to explain Mertz to my mom and she thought I was talking about a new dating app. But honestly? I'll take it. My credit card debt still exists, but I smiled at my bank statement yesterday. Progress.