“There is a contradiction here: If the prize for winning finite play is life, then the players are not properly alive. They are competing for life. Life, then, is not play, but the outcome of play. Finite players play to live; they do not live their playing. Life is therefore deserved, bestowed, possessed, won. It is not lived.” that was posted in this blog post recently https://www.youngmoney.co/p/infinite-games
For me the difference in what game you choose to play is a result of your mindset - are you seeing people you play with in life, or do you se objects/ obstacles that you have to win over.
That difference makes a huge difference in your behaviour, a person is treated with respect and love - an object is pushed, beaten, removed.
So, i ask myself, how would I like to treated, like a person or an object?
It brings me nothing but good experiences already, and I for sure will smile at the end of my days here on earth knowing I at least for some time had a positive impact on others.
My goal for the next year is to do no mindless SoMe consumption, and instead create and market what i build, or relax or take a nap or whatever is the right thing to do, which is never instafacetok for 2 hours.
Working on a tree planting, earth saving, bio link tool :), have a few signups but need to rewrite the edit flow and a thousand other things on my todo.
I needed it myself, and the other pieces of sw did not work proper, then spent 3 years of spending a few hours every evening promoting it, posting it to forums, etc. (And a little time prorgramming, but promoting it took waaay more time)
The best way to do that, has for me been through the Arbinger mindset change tools, start with their books, i can recommend “The outward mindset” and take it from there.
That our responses and our negative relational feelings are based on out own choice - Nobody makes me feel angry, victimized, as a failure - it is always my choice to feel those feelings.
It is not always i am able to choose not to feel it, but i always know i am feeling it because of my own choosing.
The Anatomy of Peace, it has the power to change your mindset, it has helped me and others getting out of being stuck, reconnecting me with a more true purpose and helped me be a better programmer, father and friend.
Of course it is hard work, but the underlying principle it teaches is so powerful, that as long as I keep practicing that, i seem to improve in all the important areas of my life.
This might sound like a strange advice, but i have had you problem and found a way of being in my advice that has helped me in practicing to have high standard even in my own work.
It all started with reading the book called “The anatomy of peace”, and then reading the two other books from the same author, this helped me a lot and I then went all-in and took their coaching education, and now i am much less stuck and helping others get unstuck at the same time :)
I read the book “The anatomy of peace” 16 months ago, and it has impacted my life in more ways than I ever would have thought possible.
It helped me understand how I created all the trouble I have experienced in my life, why I never became “succesful” and why I had felt so stuck most of my life.
I now understand how my mindset, how I see the person in front of me, either as a person or as an object, has a greater impact on my results than anything else.
Even on my abillity to be unstuck, to change my mind, to moce fast and break things.
Could you notice it/them and stop yourself?
Would that solve the issue?