I don't have the answer to your problems but here's a friendly reminder that your life is not defined by an illustrious career or the size of a bank account, unless that is your personal choice. Richard L. Evans said it best:
"May we never let the things we can’t have, or don’t have, or shouldn’t have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have. As we value our happiness, let us not forget it, for one of the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy without the things we cannot or should not have."
I've been working through the Stanford course notes on Programming Abstractions.
http://www.stanford.edu/class/cs106b/ Click on the link to the course reader PDF
I recommend it because it illustrates important concepts in Computer Science while avoiding the unnecessary idiosyncrasies of C++. I like to think of it as a Coles Notes version of CS essentials but the material might be a little too basic for an experienced programmer.
"May we never let the things we can’t have, or don’t have, or shouldn’t have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have. As we value our happiness, let us not forget it, for one of the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy without the things we cannot or should not have."