"I don't know the meaning of the symbols on the chalkboard. Whatever it is, I bet it's wrong."
Those symbols demonstrate empirical knowledge of the relationship between baryons, their masses, and their quantum numbers. It's not wrong in any sense, other than the underlying order wasn't yet understood.
I was suicidal in Silicon Valley, having just been fired from my dream job at Stanford.
I'm still alive, and I'm glad that I am. My life is still pretty wretched, but my perspective is different. My misery isn't any less, but I'm out from under it. It's no longer crushing me and I can observe my misery with some detachment now.
I hope that you manage to get out from under your misery. Don't let it crush you.
It's all very nice. But this made me throw up a little. "With a functional programming implementation, it’s hard to imagine how a bug (other than a typo) might even be introduced."