Here is a vote for "Database Management Systems" by Ramakrishnan and Gehrke
I learned from this book. I also know a few graduate students who studied databases (or some varient) and they continued to use this book throughout their studies.
(I know nothing of the other book though, so this is a one-sided view)
'R' is used to manipulate data and graphically display the results. I've never used it myself, but I know it's used in my University's Computer Science department.