I have good experience with getting new friends by going to, and organizing events. I have also seen people with the exact same problem as you.
I think the core issue is what kind of event you organize. A structured board game night is a bit the same mental category as attending a conference or practicing a sport. People mainly do it for selfish reasons, they want to get better, learn something etc. I would argue that serious bowling is the same thing, but unserious bowling is not.
Personally I mainly do random hangout nights. Tell people to bring whatever and do whatever. Some people just talk, some play board games, some get slightly drunk for fun, some do wine tasting and everyone usually mingle around, switch table and group. Great way to get to know each other and figure out that person X also like Y, then you say ”we should do Y together sometime” and 50% will say ”absolutely”, and now you start having a new semi close friend you can hang out 1 on 1 with.
Fast forward a few years and you will have maybe 1-3 persons that are your closest friend but you still continue to invite 10 people to the hangouts for the whole community but get more and more time with the smaller group.
Also work on your personality. I have met some people that are lonely and clearly want some friends but there is nothing more awkward than someone trying too hard, really wanting a friend, really trying. It is strange because in my experience I get new friends when I am not thinking about making friends, just about having fun and enjoying the time regardless of outcome.
I think the core issue is what kind of event you organize. A structured board game night is a bit the same mental category as attending a conference or practicing a sport. People mainly do it for selfish reasons, they want to get better, learn something etc. I would argue that serious bowling is the same thing, but unserious bowling is not.
Personally I mainly do random hangout nights. Tell people to bring whatever and do whatever. Some people just talk, some play board games, some get slightly drunk for fun, some do wine tasting and everyone usually mingle around, switch table and group. Great way to get to know each other and figure out that person X also like Y, then you say ”we should do Y together sometime” and 50% will say ”absolutely”, and now you start having a new semi close friend you can hang out 1 on 1 with.
Fast forward a few years and you will have maybe 1-3 persons that are your closest friend but you still continue to invite 10 people to the hangouts for the whole community but get more and more time with the smaller group.
Also work on your personality. I have met some people that are lonely and clearly want some friends but there is nothing more awkward than someone trying too hard, really wanting a friend, really trying. It is strange because in my experience I get new friends when I am not thinking about making friends, just about having fun and enjoying the time regardless of outcome.