Yes, I agree with you. I doubted anyone would read that much into it, despite the plain existential angst as a backdrop.
The conflation of normal and normative reaches into Wittgensteinian territory, but normative is normal. Hell, even the good end of a bell curve can be seen as a bad thing.
I find it interesting you're interested looking for the correct situation. Have you turned down prior situations where it didn't meet what you were looking for?
I'm quite a bit more broken than an average person—I don't think I could wait for a "right" anything.
Yeah, I'm not quite sure what's going on with that. It might have been facetious, we tend to joke about each other.
I'll have to ask her about it tomorrow. There was one thing for her even worse than that, which would make her recommendation even more incredible to you. We're good enough friends to talk about things like that, I wonder if she's projecting her internal views of me on to other people.
No more about my friend, please. I feel wrong alluding to these situations.
Correct for part. I'm in a similar situation, but only 28. Five years to go. Twelve to a movie.
In my mind—and this is entirely anecdotal—sex and relationships are merely a checkpoint for the life of a person. It's nothing more than a signifier, of which people place a negative connotation on being a virgin. I'm not here by choice, but by inability to progress against these signifiers.
While I agree with your point about the sex being irrelevant, the entirety of the statement of "It's sex" framed as a triviality is dead wrong. I, and I assume most other virgins, have severe issues with dealing with social cues. When you say "someone" who is that? Is it someone at the bar? A friendly glance at work? I can't tell. I'm pretty bad at learning social cues. I'm not sure where to do them. Or at who.
And because I'm bad at learning those social cues, I'm afraid to be forward. A friend who was sexually harassed at work gave me the advice to try a small company because "they have more relationships between coworkers there." It's somewhat irrelevant advice given how tone-deaf I am to general human interactions. Kind of ironic too, considering I probably couldn't tell the difference between harmless office flirting and sexual harassment. Which is why it's precluded in my mind.
Much like T.H. White's Merlin, I realize my doom, but am unable to change it. I'm guessing it's a chemical issue with my locus of control.
EDIT:
I spend a majority of my free time in the gym. I'm very fit, so it's not a matter of appearance. Minus any crazy expression on my face.
The conflation of normal and normative reaches into Wittgensteinian territory, but normative is normal. Hell, even the good end of a bell curve can be seen as a bad thing.