ecualombian

12 anni fadiscuss

It sounds like you're noticing important cultural differences and have had a history of heavy responsibility. Best tomorrow, and remember, any decision you make isn't the last or the defining one...those labels generally come after something has passed. You always have choices in front of you. They will likely never be what you have envisioned exactly but they are indeed the ones in front of you. Letting go of the image we've envisioned and embracing what's in front of us I think is one of the hardest things to do in life. Take good care.

ecualombian

12 anni fadiscuss

We all make decisions and they guide us in different directions. I don't really believe in a "right path". I'm not really sure what type of help you're looking for. I was a once computer science major, now clinical social worker. I work with people that have different stressors in their lives and are learning how to live a life they feel good about. In most cases I find, even with past horrific traumas, people are very resilient. So the little I'll offer you right now is this. In my own journey of healing and getting my life together, there is always a lot of noise. Things to "worry about" things to "figure out". These often include career goals, life goals, etcetera. I have found often that much of my energy has been wasted on things that have not yet come to pass. The future stuff that I'm not quite ready for in that moment anyway. Of course plans are important, but in terms of getting "help now", often we overlook or neglect our day to day basic needs for loose ill defined hopes. It's not these things are not important, its just we very likely are not yet ready to hold ourselves up with enough firm ground to withstand the tremendous amount of unknown that entertaining such things requires. With that said, Maslow's hierarchy is a helpful frame to start from in any trying times. You'll find that when you consistently knock out a 100% of your basic needs (healthy food, shelter, meaningful relationships, meaningful daily activities, etc.), you'll start naturally taking on bigger things. You must be a smart guy if you got into Stanford. Something the pressure of a "name school" has more baggage than its worth. I know what that's like. I once went to a "name school" and found that I spent just as much energy on deflecting the image of what it meant to goto a place highly regarded and what that meant to the world around me - as I did on just trying to survive the experience. With that said, an important step for me, was to forget and let go of that image and build a real foundation of self-respect and confidence in myself that I felt. Once you tap into that, and you spend the time defining what YOU want to do, not what the world wants you to do - then you will begin to let the important things in and you will get better at passing on the distractions. I'm still learning how to do this. I graduated from my undergrad a decade ago. I've changed my career, felt lost, loved and lost multiple times, and am better for it. I hope you find some inspiration for yourself in these words.

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