If you would like an official Zulu JDK container I am willing to contribute time, from my Alpine-based Smallest JVM containers in the world™ http://j.mp/tinyjvm
Looking at the average "non-retard" developer, it would not surprise me at all to discover they were less skilled than the "retards" that persisted with being software developers. Your social ineptitude would also place you in that average pool as this is is a social undertaking as much as an intellectual one. Fail fast, take up the monastic life.