I think a highly effective alternative to restraint in identity is a deep and comprehensive appreciation for all identities. That is, the interest, willingness, and passion to accommodate all relevant identities. Karen Armstrong calls this "compassion". I submit it would be healthier for discussion to deeply and compassionately embrace otherness rather than to be identity agnostics.
I concur that noncompassionate identity can poison a discussion.
I concur that noncompassionate identity can poison a discussion.