I always thought people want to suicide all the time but are too shameful to confess.
First time I attempted suicide was at 12, when my fathers divorced and my mother left.
Then I had the misfortune to be the classic tiny nerdy good guy, always in love with some girl. Young girls can be cruel.
Suicide was always in my mind from 15 to about 25. But it is not a dreadful feeling, in fact at that times, it can be very liberating.
To think everything has a very simple solution, I saw death like the end of suffering and the beginning of peace, whats not to love about that? Suicide thoughts always comforted me in those sad moments, like a pressure valve. Nothing can be so bad that death is not a fix for it.
But its easier to think about it than to do it, that's for sure. Something changed in my mind about the time I had 30. Never had those feelings again. But I always will remember the times I contemplated death as moments of hope in between desperation.
But its easier to think about it than to do it, that's for sure. Something changed in my mind about the time I had 30. Never had those feelings again. But I always will remember the times I contemplated death as moments of hope in between desperation.