I finally have a really good therapist, yeah. On some other thread recently someone described therapy as a 100x profession which feels true. I worry I'm a challenging, stubborn client but I'll "get there" eventually I think
Talking about it with intimate partners or close friends is hardest, total strangers I'll never see again is easier. I don't want to be coddled in a relationship and I get icked out when people seem fascinated by it or admire me knowing I went through this stuff. There's also no way to ease into it, it's too abruptly concerning if I'm honest about it, it's like someone says "oh I had this challenge growing up" and wants me to mirror them emotionally and I don't have any true stories that are mild enough for that early level of intimacy? And given how normal I seem, if I do get honest, I worry it seems like I'm lying
In my case my sibling was spared the bad experiences, wasn't present for the worst part, and has some issues that would prevent them offering emotional support. I think I also still resent them for having been spared these bad experiences, even though I know they're not to blame for that. I was sorta scapegoated
I'm definitely "is what it is" about it in some ways, yeah, no desire to confront anyone or get any kind of resolution, it just left me with a lot problems not relating to other people or trusting them easily, and disliking myself
Thanks for your comment. I really do need to find a way to feel less alone about it
I'm really successful. It shocks other people if I tell them the details about how bad my relationship was with my parents growing up, so I don't. I feel super lonely and alienated about it. I don't feel comfortable in the communities online where people talk about stuff like this because either I think their issue is too mild for them to understand my experience or I feel like my issues aren't bad enough to count. Someone once told me I seemed like a person who had never experienced personal hardships, ha. Only ever had one friend I could talk to about it. Wish I knew how to feel less lonely about it
Talking about it with intimate partners or close friends is hardest, total strangers I'll never see again is easier. I don't want to be coddled in a relationship and I get icked out when people seem fascinated by it or admire me knowing I went through this stuff. There's also no way to ease into it, it's too abruptly concerning if I'm honest about it, it's like someone says "oh I had this challenge growing up" and wants me to mirror them emotionally and I don't have any true stories that are mild enough for that early level of intimacy? And given how normal I seem, if I do get honest, I worry it seems like I'm lying
In my case my sibling was spared the bad experiences, wasn't present for the worst part, and has some issues that would prevent them offering emotional support. I think I also still resent them for having been spared these bad experiences, even though I know they're not to blame for that. I was sorta scapegoated
I'm definitely "is what it is" about it in some ways, yeah, no desire to confront anyone or get any kind of resolution, it just left me with a lot problems not relating to other people or trusting them easily, and disliking myself
Thanks for your comment. I really do need to find a way to feel less alone about it