My wife accumulated about 30k in debt, through EducationOne. It was guaranteed through TERI.
We chose a private lender specifically because at the time (early 2000s) private loans were dischargeable in bankruptcy and we wanted a hedge against the possibility that she might fail in her career. We accepted a significantly higher interest rate for that reason alone. They changed the law and now they're not dischargeable.
Luckily, TERI itself filed for bankruptcy and didn't keep good records. They'd sold the loans but the records showing assignment to the new entity apparently don't exist. We stopped paying on them, they filed suit, and we demanded that they prove ownership of the debt. They withdrew the suit, and the statute of limitations has since expired.
> I don't think a CoC makes such conversations impossible, interested parties won't be offended.
My experience is that I feel unwelcome at such events. Instead of being able to speak to my peers honestly and openly, instead I make a point to do so as much as possible in a private setting, lest I break some protocol that I'm not even aware of and end up reprimanded as a result.
I mean no offense to anyone, and go out of my way to avoid offending. I'm not seeking permission to do something improper, nor am I ashamed of my words or actions - I'm saying that as a white male, my actions are held to a very different and seemingly arbitrary standard.
There's a reason I post this sort of topic using a separate account. Every conversation I've had with this part of the community has been antagonistic toward me as soon as it is discovered that I'm a member of the racial/gender group that is most heavily disfavored.
This is a topic I feel very strongly about, but I have to treat like it's radioactive. Hence, this is a throwaway account and I will not be using it again.
I am a white male in my early 30s. I'm strongly libertarian and do everything in my power to make sure that people have the opportunity to work in a safe and non-threatening environment. I go out of my way to make sure that people who do not share my "type A" personality are included in group activities, and spend a good deal of energy monitoring and adjusting my body language to be inviting without being aggressive. This in particular doesn't come naturally to me, and as an introvert, is quite exhausting.
The one time I attempted to work with the the social circle that authors and maintains Model-View-Culture, I was met with the single most obvious and aggressive display of sexism I've encountered in my professional career. They used gender-based names to refer to me in a very derogatory and degrading way, and proceeded to go through my social profiles and mock my private life and family - because I had the audacity to attempt to engage them in a conversation while being male.
> Does this mean we’re going to get angry at you if you try to help and get it wrong?
> This is an a fear that has come to light through side channels. Men know there is a problem, and they’re worried the women they know are on the defensive - especially when reading a direct call to action like this one.
> They want to help but they’re worried if they don’t get everything just right, someone will chastise them into oblivion.
No, I'm not worried that I'll be chastised - I'm worried that my gender will result in a situation where any action (or inaction) on my part will result in my being ostracized from the professional community to which I've devoted a large part of my adult life. Further, I base this fear on my own actual experience and the direct observation of the experiences of others.
> The people signing this document are patient when they see someone trying to make a difference.
Perhaps. To be fair, the people who lashed out at me are not listed on this document. They are members of the same social circle though, and the thought of putting my career and my family's livelihood on the line to try and solve problems that do not directly impact me is terrifying. I am supposed to trust them not to dox me, spread that information to their entire social circle, then use it to publicly shame me?
I want to help. I really do. I have a wife, daughters, and my own mother is a long-time feminist. I consider myself a feminist, though not of the radical far-left variety they practice. As much as I've been preached to about how feminism is hostile because they are not in a position of power, they've wielded that power arbitrarily and willfully when they found themselves able to do so.
We chose a private lender specifically because at the time (early 2000s) private loans were dischargeable in bankruptcy and we wanted a hedge against the possibility that she might fail in her career. We accepted a significantly higher interest rate for that reason alone. They changed the law and now they're not dischargeable.
Luckily, TERI itself filed for bankruptcy and didn't keep good records. They'd sold the loans but the records showing assignment to the new entity apparently don't exist. We stopped paying on them, they filed suit, and we demanded that they prove ownership of the debt. They withdrew the suit, and the statute of limitations has since expired.