I wish I could work on weekends
The dreadful weekend is always so long. I rarely get out of my apartment and when I do it's either to buy groceries or booze.
I feel that although I might be productive as a software developer, I'm not being productive as a late twenty guy.
It's easy to say go out meet people, but it's so difficult to make new friends at this age. Very few places to go to meetup people. The idea of pub sucks and meetups are there but are boring and it's a part-time thing for everyone. Everyone has a life and here I'm with no life it seems. So what should I do.
I have been thinking about may be starting my own project and seeing where it goes. But I don't know what's the best path.
There might be lots of things related to IP or other things that might come into play if I start working on my own thing during weekends. Could I work part-time and take two jobs ? Why aren't companies open to this idea that a person can work in two places ?
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I started going to the gym to get fit. Turns out there are people there with similar interests. So you end up making friends. They invite you out, or you invite them etc.
Friends and family are important. My point is, its never too late to make friends. Find a hobby which involves other people. You will naturally make friends, and stop drinking and eating by your self.
you'll be happier as a result and stop looking for things to fill your time with. You might even end up laughing and having fun.
Friends and family are important. My point is, its never too late to make friends. Find a hobby which involves other people. You will naturally make friends, and stop drinking and eating by your self.
you'll be happier as a result and stop looking for things to fill your time with. You might even end up laughing and having fun.
I sympathize with OP a little when he says "it's hard to meet people." I used to be very much that way. Bartending for a couple of years helped me get over it.
That said, I've been going to the gym for quite a while, and I have not found it to be a social event whatsoever. I've had about two conversations, both brief and about weightlifting, in my dozens of visits.
Doing stuff you like will generally help you make friends, but the gym doesn't seem to work that way, for me at least.
That said, I've been going to the gym for quite a while, and I have not found it to be a social event whatsoever. I've had about two conversations, both brief and about weightlifting, in my dozens of visits.
Doing stuff you like will generally help you make friends, but the gym doesn't seem to work that way, for me at least.
as an example, I met one of my good friends there. It started with smiling and nodding, and one day I asked him about an exercise I didn't do and asked why he does it. Asked him to watch my form while I did it.
From there it was just getting his name, and whenever i saw him at the gym he and I made small talk (I made an effort to do this). Asking about how someones day to how their weekend goes a long way (it's very normal for people to do this in general).
I also sympathise with the OP, as I had problems forging relationships. But I just kept at speaking with people, and showed general interest in the things they do and soon enough they start asking about me.
When they start asking things like: got much planned for the weekend etc, it will usually lead to "want to come out with us". I am not sure about your environment at the gym, but we have a very friendly group of people.
It doesn't have to be gym, it could be anything from pottery classes, to painting or in my example the gym. Just have to get out there, and do things with people :)
From there it was just getting his name, and whenever i saw him at the gym he and I made small talk (I made an effort to do this). Asking about how someones day to how their weekend goes a long way (it's very normal for people to do this in general).
I also sympathise with the OP, as I had problems forging relationships. But I just kept at speaking with people, and showed general interest in the things they do and soon enough they start asking about me.
When they start asking things like: got much planned for the weekend etc, it will usually lead to "want to come out with us". I am not sure about your environment at the gym, but we have a very friendly group of people.
It doesn't have to be gym, it could be anything from pottery classes, to painting or in my example the gym. Just have to get out there, and do things with people :)
I began typing a response but after some thought, I realize that the answer to your dilemma is complicated by the fact that you may seek 2 positive outcomes rather than 1 for your problem. Here's a potential solution:
"Work-Productive" Saturday
computer/coding related and results in a viable product
+ full-time involvement by other participating individuals
= hackathon/co-founder meetup for projects (perhaps non-profit ones would circumvent IP/competitive issues?)
"Personal-Productive" Sunday
not drinking/pub related
+ can result in friendships/relationships
= any activity that you truly enjoy/want to try out that is NOT computer-related and NOT solitary by default (e.g. going to the gym to lift weights, while is a great activity, may not be recommended for this purpose because it's hard to chat people up when they are concentrating on their new max reps. Whereas a team sport that requires communication may be more amenable.)
"Work-Productive" Saturday
computer/coding related and results in a viable product
+ full-time involvement by other participating individuals
= hackathon/co-founder meetup for projects (perhaps non-profit ones would circumvent IP/competitive issues?)
"Personal-Productive" Sunday
not drinking/pub related
+ can result in friendships/relationships
= any activity that you truly enjoy/want to try out that is NOT computer-related and NOT solitary by default (e.g. going to the gym to lift weights, while is a great activity, may not be recommended for this purpose because it's hard to chat people up when they are concentrating on their new max reps. Whereas a team sport that requires communication may be more amenable.)
Try to pivot, I started a small business landscaping, not because I felt my coding skills were not going to see me through but because I also felt unproductive on weekends and lacked social interactions, fresh air and exercise. I found from the experience I've learned a great deal about dealing with people, budgeting, forecasting, contract management, negotiating, the list really does go on. Not all of that is immediately beneficial to my 9/5 job but things like dealing with failure, problem solving on the fly, thinking lean about solutions so I can get something for the client in a day, two max! I only have a weekend to produce. It's been great!
I love hacking on stuff on the weekends.
Just come up with a project idea and build it. It doesn't have to be that special.
Just come up with a project idea and build it. It doesn't have to be that special.
I think weekends when you're single are best used looking for a wife. Once you're married the weekends are for you to give your wife a break by playing with the kids so she can relax! If you can squeeze something else in, whether it be a hobby or a second job, more power to you! I don't think you ought to fret too much "what's the best path"... just pick something and do it.
As for your company's opinion, remember the ancient maxim "It's better to ask forgiveness than permission". That was Julius Caesar upon crossing the Rubicon, wasn't it?
As for your company's opinion, remember the ancient maxim "It's better to ask forgiveness than permission". That was Julius Caesar upon crossing the Rubicon, wasn't it?
As someone that's married right now and has no free time, I wouldn't suggest anyone to spend their weekends "looking for a wife". That's insane.
Because you don't recommend marriage, or because you think he can find one on weekdays?