Poll: Do you feel lonely?
6 comments
I spent a long time working on a business that completely consumed me. It was remote IT support so i spent 90% of my time indoors behind my computer desk. It was 24/7 support so most of the time, i just couldn't go out.
After a few years I didn't even notice that I hadn't been out in so long and the social anxiety creeped in very slowly. Just as bad was the fact that getting up and dresses early in the morning - say into a suit - and then commuting for even just say 30mins seems like a mammoth task. I realise it's all psychological but it's been there for a long time.
I kmow exactly how you feel; same with the envy of the friendship of tight knit groups.
For the benefit of my social life, my work now isn't much better either. I'm in a rather specific niche and operate as a lone ranger. I love what I do as a vocation but it i'm sure it hurts my social life one way or another.
Nonetheless, I've had to force myself to move to a major city. I make sure I work outside of home at least 3x a week. I try to make sure at least 30% of my clients are those I meet in person and not just remote clients (though i love my remote clients. theyre so much fun) - and i'm forcing myself to meet new people every week.
I literally just got back from a conference and met a few people and tomorrow i'm meeting someone new too.
I really regret not working this into my life sooner. I feel as if i haven't lived. True story.
After a few years I didn't even notice that I hadn't been out in so long and the social anxiety creeped in very slowly. Just as bad was the fact that getting up and dresses early in the morning - say into a suit - and then commuting for even just say 30mins seems like a mammoth task. I realise it's all psychological but it's been there for a long time.
I kmow exactly how you feel; same with the envy of the friendship of tight knit groups.
For the benefit of my social life, my work now isn't much better either. I'm in a rather specific niche and operate as a lone ranger. I love what I do as a vocation but it i'm sure it hurts my social life one way or another.
Nonetheless, I've had to force myself to move to a major city. I make sure I work outside of home at least 3x a week. I try to make sure at least 30% of my clients are those I meet in person and not just remote clients (though i love my remote clients. theyre so much fun) - and i'm forcing myself to meet new people every week.
I literally just got back from a conference and met a few people and tomorrow i'm meeting someone new too.
I really regret not working this into my life sooner. I feel as if i haven't lived. True story.
> You say no a few times, they stop asking, and time and distance just drift relationships apart.
I've been on both sides of this, and I've found that when I get a few "no"s from someone I'm fairly close to, I can't help but think they don't like me - even though from experience their "no"s might just come from their anxiety. There's simply no way to tell - and it stinks for both parties.
I've been on both sides of this, and I've found that when I get a few "no"s from someone I'm fairly close to, I can't help but think they don't like me - even though from experience their "no"s might just come from their anxiety. There's simply no way to tell - and it stinks for both parties.
Stating the obvious but it will never happen if you don't do anything about it.. As a developer meetups and hackerspaces could be a great way to start. It worked for me. Turning up the first time is the hardest. It's still difficult after that but it's a little easier each time until finally it's a pleasure most of the time.
I've often felt that in a physical world there is always separation between people. Heaven to me is unification with God and others; a oneness. Thanks for reading this far, now you can downvote me.
I realise that atheism is probably the fastest growing belief system around the world now and that any mention of God often gets a double-take but having to apologise for it just strikes me as odd.
I really resonated with what you said.
I really resonated with what you said.
All the time. Not because there aren't people around, but because few people I meet in RL really get what it means to be an entrepreneur and what drives one. I just don't relate to most people's motivations and most people don't relate to mine.
Fake account because here's my secret to curing any and all loneliness: LSD. Not at all joking.
Fake account because here's my secret to curing any and all loneliness: LSD. Not at all joking.
only when I'm alone
"loneliness is not a function of solitude" — David Foster Wallace
Not me. The few times I've felt lonely, it was never when I was alone.
The loneliest I've ever felt was when I was in a relationship.
I actually do tend to feel more isolated around real people. At least when I'm alone I have random Internet strangers to keep me company.
99.9% of the time, yes.
Loneliness is the bane of my entire existence. My biggest, life-long source of dissatisfaction with life itself.
I'm an independent developer, so my passive income allows me to live a lifestyle of my choosing. I get to choose the projects I want to work on, choose what I want to learn, choose when I sleep/work/exercise and how often.
However I haven't gone out with friends in something like 4 years. Its not that I don't want to, I guess I have social anxiety. You say no a few times, they stop asking, and time and distance just drift relationships apart.
I feel really envious of friendships on TV shows - the idea of a tight knit group of friends who are there for each other and get into shenanigans. It seems like that's how your suppose to live, but I haven't had more than a few friends in one room since college.