Ask HN: Anyone here climbed up from rock bottom? How did you do it?
6 comments
It all depends on your definition of 'rock bottom'.
I lost my wife house and family all at once when I was 42. "How do I start again when my life is nearly over?" I spent several weeks just staring at the wall. A friend asked me what I did before I was married. 'Travelling' I said. "Well, do that again." she said.
So I did. Being self-dependent for six weeks got me out of my depression. Within a month or two, friends came out of the wood-work. Within six months, I had to choose which of two women I would stay with.
I chose well, 32 years later we're still together.
"You have to like yourself first, before others can like you."
I lost my wife house and family all at once when I was 42. "How do I start again when my life is nearly over?" I spent several weeks just staring at the wall. A friend asked me what I did before I was married. 'Travelling' I said. "Well, do that again." she said.
So I did. Being self-dependent for six weeks got me out of my depression. Within a month or two, friends came out of the wood-work. Within six months, I had to choose which of two women I would stay with.
I chose well, 32 years later we're still together.
"You have to like yourself first, before others can like you."
This is so important! "You have to like yourself first, before others can like you."!
Went through both the emotional an financial rock bottom in recent years at least twice. The key is to realize that you, yes, you, were created (yes, you have a creator!) to perform certain works that only you can do. Work on faith (I can honestly say that without Christian faith, and reading St. Augustine's writings on suicide, I would have killed myself years ago). That's the first thing.
Secondly, make positive progress every day. Make some money, even if it's not enough yet. Cut expenses to the bone, and then cut more. (We managed to keep our house, but in retrospect, should have sold it and downsized.) The good news is that both my wife and I have good jobs now, and we're socking away enough money to dig out of the hole. It's not fun, but we're heading up. Hang in there, and make sure you do something to move the ball forward every single day. And seriously, find a prayer and/or bible study group to help you through - these are tough times, and we're stronger together, but realize that none of us has any strength next to the one who created you and everything else. (Not to get preachy, but Chrisitianity really is the most uplifting and freeing thing ever - all your screwups have been paid for, and if you just believe that, you are adopted into the family of the God of the Universe. That's pretty amazing good news, and the ultimate empowerment!)
Secondly, make positive progress every day. Make some money, even if it's not enough yet. Cut expenses to the bone, and then cut more. (We managed to keep our house, but in retrospect, should have sold it and downsized.) The good news is that both my wife and I have good jobs now, and we're socking away enough money to dig out of the hole. It's not fun, but we're heading up. Hang in there, and make sure you do something to move the ball forward every single day. And seriously, find a prayer and/or bible study group to help you through - these are tough times, and we're stronger together, but realize that none of us has any strength next to the one who created you and everything else. (Not to get preachy, but Chrisitianity really is the most uplifting and freeing thing ever - all your screwups have been paid for, and if you just believe that, you are adopted into the family of the God of the Universe. That's pretty amazing good news, and the ultimate empowerment!)
If it's financial rock bottom as in that you need to make ends meet, to sustain yourself and your family, it's mostly the environment that dictates what can be done. If the situation seems absolute, as in that no suitable jobs are available, securing land and growing food yourself etc. can go a long way.
Emotional rock bottom: probably goes in hand with the former. Anyway, don't blame yourself. I dunno who made the call and on what grounds they made it. That kind of stuff eats you, especially if you don't know.
In any case I urge you to keep going and wish you all the best. Much to wonder, and live for.
Emotional rock bottom: probably goes in hand with the former. Anyway, don't blame yourself. I dunno who made the call and on what grounds they made it. That kind of stuff eats you, especially if you don't know.
In any case I urge you to keep going and wish you all the best. Much to wonder, and live for.
After a series of bad decisions I quit some well-paying big company jobs to chase a startup dream. 4 years later I was living in a trailer and my health and relationships were deteriorating.
Deus Ex Machina, crypto started its rampage of a bull run. In desperation I started sifting through old hard drives. I found about 20 and was able to sell near the top (~$400k).
I don't have anything useful, just an observation that it's a bit scary how strong momentum can be, whether positive or negative.
Deus Ex Machina, crypto started its rampage of a bull run. In desperation I started sifting through old hard drives. I found about 20 and was able to sell near the top (~$400k).
I don't have anything useful, just an observation that it's a bit scary how strong momentum can be, whether positive or negative.
If they're in 40s and 50s and they are in tech, they should have savings which would make the transition to a new job painless.
[deleted]
Which brings me to : how does one climb up from bad situations? Not just career wise, but life in general. Especially if one is in their 40s and 50s with responsibilities (kids, mortgage etc).