ADD is a Child-rearing Culture Problem(danielmiessler.com)
danielmiessler.com
ADD is a Child-rearing Culture Problem
http://danielmiessler.com/blog/add-is-a-child-rearing-culture-problem
8 comments
Stop trivializing the very real issue that I and many other folks on here struggle with every day. Frankly I find it very disrespectful.
Half-arsed theory with nothing to back it up. And nothing to do with 'hacker news' at all.
This is anecdotal as well, but oh well here goes.
I have 5 kids. Yes you heard that right 5. They are aged 13, 11, 10, 8, and 6. They are all different with different personalities and different likes/dislikes.
When I go to a restaurant I get compliments on their behavior regularly. Out of all of them I can pinpoint very specific examples of how our discipline has taught them to be well behaved. I have some that I have no doubt could have been diagnosed as ADD. However without the help of drugs I have successfully taught all of them to control themselves.
I know that some of my children have more difficulty than the others sitting still or concentrating from observation. I've seen the evidence myself. However I have seen no evidence that it can't be controlled entirely through parental love, understanding, involvement and discipline.
Anecdotal? absolutely. However, it's not necessarily incorrect either.
I have 5 kids. Yes you heard that right 5. They are aged 13, 11, 10, 8, and 6. They are all different with different personalities and different likes/dislikes.
When I go to a restaurant I get compliments on their behavior regularly. Out of all of them I can pinpoint very specific examples of how our discipline has taught them to be well behaved. I have some that I have no doubt could have been diagnosed as ADD. However without the help of drugs I have successfully taught all of them to control themselves.
I know that some of my children have more difficulty than the others sitting still or concentrating from observation. I've seen the evidence myself. However I have seen no evidence that it can't be controlled entirely through parental love, understanding, involvement and discipline.
Anecdotal? absolutely. However, it's not necessarily incorrect either.
What techniques do you use to discipline them?
I've got a friend who's the youngest deacon in the Catholic Church in the diocese that includes Syracuse. He practices what he preaches, so he's had 11 children.
He tells me that each child has an individual personality once they hit the ground. Some kids are easy to discipline, and other ones aren't. Overall, parents of ADD kids use harsher discipline than other parents, however, it appears that they're driven to do that by their children's behavior, not that harsh discipline causes ADD.
My 8-yr-old can sometimes be the best behaved and charming child and sometimes he can be a total embarrassment. We've had arguments in public escalate to having the cops show up and having child protective services knock on our door, so I know that harsh discipline isn't a viable way to get perfect discipline in public.
He tells me that each child has an individual personality once they hit the ground. Some kids are easy to discipline, and other ones aren't. Overall, parents of ADD kids use harsher discipline than other parents, however, it appears that they're driven to do that by their children's behavior, not that harsh discipline causes ADD.
My 8-yr-old can sometimes be the best behaved and charming child and sometimes he can be a total embarrassment. We've had arguments in public escalate to having the cops show up and having child protective services knock on our door, so I know that harsh discipline isn't a viable way to get perfect discipline in public.
Oh yeah, kids who get "You have to be a doctor" parenting have a 50-50 or so chance of succeeding when at least one "doctor" is a parent. Some have brilliant careers, and others screw up totally and end up destitute.
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I, my wife, and one of my sons have gone through the social hell of the constant repeated experience of dealing with people that think they know something about ADHD. Your preconceived popular-science laden opinions are NOT right and you feel ashamed to think so.
So, my rage aside, let me say this: there is solid research and solid treatment for those who are diagnosed with ADHD. Please, if it seems to fit your issues, please, PLEASE! go through the process of seeing if medication can help you.
You won't believe the amazing difference and neither will those close to you. There is help... seek it.