Ask HN: What's your new year resolution or what you want to improve?
11 comments
I'd like to be more a people person. But when I try I realize I just don't usually like people. So I get stuck, because it feels like faking it. Anyway I'd like to improve the ability to talk to people and be more open not just the one who gets the stuff done
I'd suggest finding social environments where you can engage with people in a common activity. Sports (team, or individual but with common practice sessions), trivia, reading groups, etc. These can give you an opportunity to engage with people more but have a directed focus to it.
You may still dislike the people, but with your interaction focused on a mutually interesting topic you may have better success at dealing with those you dislike, as well as finding those you do like. I'd recommend staying away from highly competitive groups (Magic tournaments and the like), because that level of competitive play is often detrimental to other social interaction with the people. Good adult rec leagues are competitive enough to be fun, but most people know they're not pros so they still take a more relaxed attitude.
When you do start finding people you like spending time with, take the lead on initiating social engagements. Especially if they're not all from the same social circles. Invite several people that you like more out to dinner and a movie, or a Friday night at the bar, or a game night potluck. You may still feel a bit of an outsider, but it'll increase your opportunities for communicating and engaging with people and gives you control over the situation (which can make it more tolerable if you're an extreme introvert).
You may still dislike the people, but with your interaction focused on a mutually interesting topic you may have better success at dealing with those you dislike, as well as finding those you do like. I'd recommend staying away from highly competitive groups (Magic tournaments and the like), because that level of competitive play is often detrimental to other social interaction with the people. Good adult rec leagues are competitive enough to be fun, but most people know they're not pros so they still take a more relaxed attitude.
When you do start finding people you like spending time with, take the lead on initiating social engagements. Especially if they're not all from the same social circles. Invite several people that you like more out to dinner and a movie, or a Friday night at the bar, or a game night potluck. You may still feel a bit of an outsider, but it'll increase your opportunities for communicating and engaging with people and gives you control over the situation (which can make it more tolerable if you're an extreme introvert).
Rebuild what I lost in 2018
I had a toxic investor who trashed my company, stole money, committed fraud and fled to Malaysia.
I had a very tough 2-3 weeks when I had to let staff go, close down, lost my home. The most painful part was letting my staff go, because I considered them all friends too.
But the contacts I made along the way all reached out to me, they offered me food, accomodation and work.
There are some truly good people out there, and some truly rotten ones.
After a few weeks I got the entrepreneurial itch again and I’m aching to start again, but this time, smarter, wiser, and even more motivated
I move into my flat tomorrow, finally somewhere to live!
Here’s to a great 2019 everyone!
I had a toxic investor who trashed my company, stole money, committed fraud and fled to Malaysia.
I had a very tough 2-3 weeks when I had to let staff go, close down, lost my home. The most painful part was letting my staff go, because I considered them all friends too.
But the contacts I made along the way all reached out to me, they offered me food, accomodation and work.
There are some truly good people out there, and some truly rotten ones.
After a few weeks I got the entrepreneurial itch again and I’m aching to start again, but this time, smarter, wiser, and even more motivated
I move into my flat tomorrow, finally somewhere to live!
Here’s to a great 2019 everyone!
Sad o hear. Can you elaborate? What mistake to avoid you wished you'd have known?
Going to start running and exercising in general. A lot of my older coworkers (40+) didn't exercise at all after high school PE class and they aren't a pretty sight.
I paid off all my student loans last week - 2019 will be all about saving money. Goal is six month's living expenses, but may be able to get closer to ten if I am frugal.
I paid off all my student loans last week - 2019 will be all about saving money. Goal is six month's living expenses, but may be able to get closer to ten if I am frugal.
3840x2160
But seriously... A recent job hunt has made me aware of how crummy companies are and how management roles are under-appreciated; so I've been spending a lot of effort on updating my developer skills as it seems most companies expect you to do everything nowadays.
But seriously... A recent job hunt has made me aware of how crummy companies are and how management roles are under-appreciated; so I've been spending a lot of effort on updating my developer skills as it seems most companies expect you to do everything nowadays.
Work less. Spend more time on the guitar. Read more. Get more exercise. Eat better.
Regarding the "Eat better" thing. It helped me when I heard some lecture advising to be careful with what you eat because what you eat is what you become. Like literally, because everything you eat will be broken into pieces, the pieces that will replace the exhausted cells on your body :)
Where can I find this lecture please? It is the kind of thing that would really motivate me.
Quit sugar for good