How to survive a job you hate(pyskool.com)
pyskool.com
How to survive a job you hate
http://pyskool.com/survive-job-you-absolutely-hate/
17 comments
Go and Dart? Sounds like you're out of touch with what most companies really use. Look at some job ads in your area to get a realistic sense of what's employable (if that's your main concern).
Sorry to hear about your situation. As somebody who also suffers from depression I cannot tell you how much I think you have to change your work environment. That black dog will do you in if you are not careful and an awful working environment is one of the worst things when it comes to depression in my experience.
Also as noted by a couple of others is Go, Dart, etc. really the best technologies to be learning right now in your area (both technically and geographically). I don't know the NZ tech world at all but if it is anything like London (and most other places) then get a solid knowledge in the main business languages such as Java. Obviously don't just follow my advice blindly but research into companies in your areas and learn learn learn!
I sincerely hope your depression improves.
Also as noted by a couple of others is Go, Dart, etc. really the best technologies to be learning right now in your area (both technically and geographically). I don't know the NZ tech world at all but if it is anything like London (and most other places) then get a solid knowledge in the main business languages such as Java. Obviously don't just follow my advice blindly but research into companies in your areas and learn learn learn!
I sincerely hope your depression improves.
Depression is another whole game. It completely screws up any plans you have of getting out of your misery.
Work isn't meant to be fun and games, but neither is it meant to be a torture or an exercise in masochism. If its not working out, you need to make a change. Like with bad relationships, the longer you stay, the worse it gets.
So start planning your exit. I hate to sound cliched, but the journey of a thousand steps really does start with one. Good luck!
Work isn't meant to be fun and games, but neither is it meant to be a torture or an exercise in masochism. If its not working out, you need to make a change. Like with bad relationships, the longer you stay, the worse it gets.
So start planning your exit. I hate to sound cliched, but the journey of a thousand steps really does start with one. Good luck!
No-one uses Go in the real world. And Dart is used even less than that.
As for the rest of it, you've just entered the most in demand profession on the planet, you've got a degree in it and already have prior experience.
You've got a lot to be hopeful (and proud) about. Build relationships and you will find work to love, not endure.
As for the rest of it, you've just entered the most in demand profession on the planet, you've got a degree in it and already have prior experience.
You've got a lot to be hopeful (and proud) about. Build relationships and you will find work to love, not endure.
> No-one uses Go in the real world.
YouTube uses Go for some very high-qps and mission-critical stuff.
https://github.com/youtube/vitess is in Go and sits on top of YouTube's MySQL databases. There are other as-yet-not-open-sourced systems written in Go that perform similarly-critical roles.
YouTube uses Go for some very high-qps and mission-critical stuff.
https://github.com/youtube/vitess is in Go and sits on top of YouTube's MySQL databases. There are other as-yet-not-open-sourced systems written in Go that perform similarly-critical roles.
Yeah, we're still at a point in adoption where everybody building a production system in Go is still notable because they did it in Go in the first place.
Systems built in Dart are practically unheard of.
Systems built in Dart are practically unheard of.
Here's a list of no-ones using Go in the real world: https://code.google.com/p/go-wiki/wiki/GoUsers
It was hyperbole, I'm simply saying there are a hundred if not 10,000 times more jobs in PHP than Go and will be for the foreseeable future.
HN is a oracle of tech, but a lot of it gos nowhere. And Go's still in the early stages. I remember the 3 months or so everyone here was raving about how Twisted was the next big thing.
HN is a oracle of tech, but a lot of it gos nowhere. And Go's still in the early stages. I remember the 3 months or so everyone here was raving about how Twisted was the next big thing.
i was advised to engage with the guy/manager i really hated. as in talk to him every day, ask and see what he likes. you know, make him feel like he's important to me. once he's in his comfort zone, things may change. it doesn't really mean you'll like him, but it'll get him off your back.
I was also given two other valuable pieces of advice.
1. try asking the 5 whys [1]. for those that don't know it's basically a simple technique to find out why people do the things they do. it doesn't have to be a good reason, but most of the times it's not a malicious reason why people do things. sometimes though it's malicious. you should be wary of those people.
2. don't marry your job. there's no point getting emotional about things you don't own. in the end you own the things you do in your free time and what you get paid for is your job. so if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys
edit: added google cache link http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:pyskool...
I was also given two other valuable pieces of advice.
1. try asking the 5 whys [1]. for those that don't know it's basically a simple technique to find out why people do the things they do. it doesn't have to be a good reason, but most of the times it's not a malicious reason why people do things. sometimes though it's malicious. you should be wary of those people.
2. don't marry your job. there's no point getting emotional about things you don't own. in the end you own the things you do in your free time and what you get paid for is your job. so if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys
edit: added google cache link http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:pyskool...
>don't marry your job. there's no point getting emotional about things you don't own.
I need to learn this advice.
> if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
Where I struggle is when someone make a very stupid decision, and part of that decision is making it my problem. They just keep lumping more and more responsibilities my way. It's at the point where I'm coming in from 1am-5am most weeks, I get called late on Sunday nights, etc. etc. I'm a salaried employee and not paid for that.
> in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
Me too, and I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. If I stopped caring, I'd be useless. I think I need to find the middle ground.
I need to learn this advice.
> if someone does an incredibly stupid decision, it's their problem.
Where I struggle is when someone make a very stupid decision, and part of that decision is making it my problem. They just keep lumping more and more responsibilities my way. It's at the point where I'm coming in from 1am-5am most weeks, I get called late on Sunday nights, etc. etc. I'm a salaried employee and not paid for that.
> in practice though, i have problems not getting emotional when people are trying to do incredibly stupid decisions.
Me too, and I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. If I stopped caring, I'd be useless. I think I need to find the middle ground.
> in the end you own the things you do in your free time
* subject to the terms of your employment agreement and applicable state and federal law.
* subject to the terms of your employment agreement and applicable state and federal law.
subject to the terms of your employment agreement and applicable state and federal law.
If any employer tries to assert ownership of a non-work-related side project...
If any employer tries to assert ownership of a non-work-related side project...
1. It would not be hard to challenge that in court. For example, the employer does
not own personal communications. They cannot read your private email, much less
assert copyright over it.
2. The very fact should be outed here, on Slashdot, on Lobsters, and on Valleywag.
It will ruin that company's reputation, and that ruin will be deserved.>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys
Looks like 3-year-old me was on to something when I was bugging my parents about how absolutely everything worked.
That said, while this seems like an excellent tool for something like car diagnostics, as described in the wikipedia article, I'd be more hesitant to try it with a person and their motivations unless it was someone I was incredibly close with. I'd especially feel weird doing it with a direct superior. It seems like in most circumstances it would be difficult to word a line of questioning like this in a way that didn't seem like criticizing their judgement.
Looks like 3-year-old me was on to something when I was bugging my parents about how absolutely everything worked.
That said, while this seems like an excellent tool for something like car diagnostics, as described in the wikipedia article, I'd be more hesitant to try it with a person and their motivations unless it was someone I was incredibly close with. I'd especially feel weird doing it with a direct superior. It seems like in most circumstances it would be difficult to word a line of questioning like this in a way that didn't seem like criticizing their judgement.
Likewise.
I've found that when applying it to people and relationships, simply asking 'why why why why why?' rarely makes it past the first two 'why's before it gets annoying and someone becomes combative. However, when I length any given 'why' to something involving acknowledgement ... 'Ah, so the battery is dead - why is the battery dead?' and vary the verbiage ... 'What happened to the alternator?', then individuals (including supervisors and others) often respond more positively.
>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys
Thanks for sharing this! I hadn't seen this outlined like this before and I can see it being really useful
Thanks for sharing this! I hadn't seen this outlined like this before and I can see it being really useful
It's possible that you are responsible for your crappy situation. But it's also possible someone is harassing you and THAT is why your environment sux. It isn't the victim's fault that they are being harassed. This may not have happened to the guy who wrote this. But lets be more open minded and empathetic about the many causes of crappy work environments.
I have updated the original article to make this clearer: If you are facing discrimination or bullying, leave immediately! And perhaps consult a lawyer as well.
The article was directed mainly at people who hate their jobs, but not enough to quit (because of fear, because they don't think they are good enough to get another one etc). So they keep showing up, in the misplaced opinion that it will get better.
But it doesn't, and one day all their fears are realised, when they wake up to find they are no longer employable, because they spent all their time just coasting through life, doing the bare minimum.
If a person is in this situation, they need to accept responsibility, and start making plans to move on. This process is hard and time consuming, which is why I say: First improve your skills, then move to a better job. Don't move from one Dilbert company to another. Rather, move to some place that will recognise and reward your skills.
The article was directed mainly at people who hate their jobs, but not enough to quit (because of fear, because they don't think they are good enough to get another one etc). So they keep showing up, in the misplaced opinion that it will get better.
But it doesn't, and one day all their fears are realised, when they wake up to find they are no longer employable, because they spent all their time just coasting through life, doing the bare minimum.
If a person is in this situation, they need to accept responsibility, and start making plans to move on. This process is hard and time consuming, which is why I say: First improve your skills, then move to a better job. Don't move from one Dilbert company to another. Rather, move to some place that will recognise and reward your skills.
> The article was directed mainly at people who hate their jobs, but not enough to quit (because of fear, because they don't think they are good enough to get another one etc).
Quit on what terms? Before or after finding another position?
Quit on what terms? Before or after finding another position?
This happened to me. HR refused to acknowledge the situation. Had no choice but to leave.
I left an abusive working environment. High turnover places exist. The American business press likes to tell oppressed employees to take their torturer's perspective, to become one with their abuser, to act with the supreme, Zen-like indifference of the Buddha and meditate their personal Hell out of existence.
The year I left, 16 people out of around 30 left, 8 after I did. I didn't have a job waiting for me, but it was a tremendous relief not to be constantly hectored in email at all hours, seven days a week. Continually having work boundaries tested is not for me. The chronic mistreatment was bad for my hemorrhoids, I informed them. (I don't necessarily believe in taking the masochistic high road in all cases.)
The year I left, 16 people out of around 30 left, 8 after I did. I didn't have a job waiting for me, but it was a tremendous relief not to be constantly hectored in email at all hours, seven days a week. Continually having work boundaries tested is not for me. The chronic mistreatment was bad for my hemorrhoids, I informed them. (I don't necessarily believe in taking the masochistic high road in all cases.)
'Changing your environment will not change your circumstances'
That can't be true, can it? Isn't that the point? Your environment seemed toxic, so you leave it for a non-toxic place.
You can change your circumstances at the job, but that doesn't make the senior-managements behavior any less toxic?
That can't be true, can it? Isn't that the point? Your environment seemed toxic, so you leave it for a non-toxic place.
You can change your circumstances at the job, but that doesn't make the senior-managements behavior any less toxic?
Perhaps I wasn't clear in the original post.
If you are facing bullying, racism or sexism (or indeed any other -ism), then yes, leave immediately.
But for most of us, it's not outright bullying, but the constant grinding down, the non-stop requests for overtime, the occasional "helpful comments" that are actually insults, the constant interference, that really gets us down. Individually, they might mean nothing, but over time, they build up, and make you feel as small as the full stop at the end of this sentence. That's when you must plan to leave, but by first upgrading your skills.
If you are facing bullying, racism or sexism (or indeed any other -ism), then yes, leave immediately.
But for most of us, it's not outright bullying, but the constant grinding down, the non-stop requests for overtime, the occasional "helpful comments" that are actually insults, the constant interference, that really gets us down. Individually, they might mean nothing, but over time, they build up, and make you feel as small as the full stop at the end of this sentence. That's when you must plan to leave, but by first upgrading your skills.
It's not literally true, and not 100% true in any sense of the phrase, but I interpreted that as meaning that part of how you perceive your job comes from within; it's never just based on a cold and objective evaluation of the work environment.
If you're not predisposed to make the best of a bad situation, then every bad situation you find yourself in will seem like a dead end. In reality, some bad situations may even be opportunities for growth and change, instead of just being barriers to overcome. If someone has a particularly nonconstructive outlook, just about every situation might might seem like an insurmountable dead end.
To quote Sarah Silverman, "when life gives you AIDS, make lemon AIDS!"
If you're not predisposed to make the best of a bad situation, then every bad situation you find yourself in will seem like a dead end. In reality, some bad situations may even be opportunities for growth and change, instead of just being barriers to overcome. If someone has a particularly nonconstructive outlook, just about every situation might might seem like an insurmountable dead end.
To quote Sarah Silverman, "when life gives you AIDS, make lemon AIDS!"
"Changing your environment will not change your circumstances" followed by "How to move on to a better job"
Wait, what?
I'm in complete agreement. The OP seems undecided what his point is supposed to be. "Keep it together until you can get out" would make sense, except for that harped upon quote, and the fact he also talks about "finding out what negative patterns are holding you back from your goals", which really only applies if you keep having crap jobs; one crap job doesn't mean you have a negative pattern you need to get rid of.
Wait, what?
I'm in complete agreement. The OP seems undecided what his point is supposed to be. "Keep it together until you can get out" would make sense, except for that harped upon quote, and the fact he also talks about "finding out what negative patterns are holding you back from your goals", which really only applies if you keep having crap jobs; one crap job doesn't mean you have a negative pattern you need to get rid of.
The reason why he had ended up in a toxic environment is the key. Change jobs and you'll find you're in the same situation a year later, but with different people and different schemes. Change your mind and you'll find you might not need to change jobs at all.
"You can change your circumstances at the job, but that doesn't make the senior-managements behavior any less toxic?"
Too true, I was in the situation awhile ago of being checked-out at a bad job. I realized that I needed to turn around, despite really positive feedback from the management about improving performance, it did nothing to improve the management's ineptness. Most of my proposals of even basic industry practices like using Git to manage our code base, and switch to using a CSS framework were met with smiles but resisted.
The company inevitably self-imploded, largely due some egregiously bad management decisions. I was laid off, but at least I had gotten used to a workflow that made my skills more marketable...
Too true, I was in the situation awhile ago of being checked-out at a bad job. I realized that I needed to turn around, despite really positive feedback from the management about improving performance, it did nothing to improve the management's ineptness. Most of my proposals of even basic industry practices like using Git to manage our code base, and switch to using a CSS framework were met with smiles but resisted.
The company inevitably self-imploded, largely due some egregiously bad management decisions. I was laid off, but at least I had gotten used to a workflow that made my skills more marketable...
It's just extremely popular at this point in time to always locate all responsibility at the individual who's the subject of the self help. It's empowering! Wherever you go, there you are! Never mind that, much like the concept of responsibility itself, it's only a convention.
Sounds like this guy suffers from just-world syndrome.
I've been in a bad situation, my only regret is not getting out sooner.
I've been in a bad situation, my only regret is not getting out sooner.
We've all been there...for folks there right now, don't worry, things get better.
Other people are going through the same thing, and it's normal to be unhappy with things at a bad place: it isn't your fault, and you deserve better. Talk with people, get support, and try to find a way out.
Other people are going through the same thing, and it's normal to be unhappy with things at a bad place: it isn't your fault, and you deserve better. Talk with people, get support, and try to find a way out.
"Talk with people, get support, and try to find a way out."
This is very good advice, but so rarely followed.
The problem is, most programmers are shy and reserved, and besides, they don't understand (or at least I didn't) that their problems aren't unique. That hundreds and thousands of programmers before them have faced this exact problem and survived. And not just survived, but thrived.
In the long term, it doesn't matter. But in the short term, it can feel like the world is ending.
This is very good advice, but so rarely followed.
The problem is, most programmers are shy and reserved, and besides, they don't understand (or at least I didn't) that their problems aren't unique. That hundreds and thousands of programmers before them have faced this exact problem and survived. And not just survived, but thrived.
In the long term, it doesn't matter. But in the short term, it can feel like the world is ending.
So I'm wondering, if you're in a place where they expect you to work overtime without paying you, They take away salary for "equity" that never comes, they constantly call and email you outside of normal business hours, and they come in on a Friday at 4 pm and tell you that they need you to work all weekend, also, they arbitrarily move deadlines forward, what do you do then?
This may or may not be something that happened to a friend of a friend of mine.
This may or may not be something that happened to a friend of a friend of mine.
I think you look for anyone reliable (family, friend, social helper, counselor...) to help you get out of that, because you might not be able to do it just by yourself (or you'll have done it already). Just like any other long lasting abusive relationship.
Working on it, but its a process.
That signs like a nightmare job.
I'd be stuffing resumes into every other related job I could find because the grass can only be greener in a situation like that.
I'd be stuffing resumes into every other related job I could find because the grass can only be greener in a situation like that.
OP's link is down, cached version: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:1JZ6-n7...
There are good work environments and bad work environments. I've seen both, and it does make a difference.
If it really is a bad environment, you probably can't change or improve it. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a bad environment.
Sometimes, finding a new job is the correct answer.
If it really is a bad environment, you probably can't change or improve it. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a bad environment.
Sometimes, finding a new job is the correct answer.
Life is too short to work at a job you hate every day.
what if the problem isn't the job, but that you are lazy and/or don't like "working"? Quit life?
If one hates working as software developer no matter the language and other environments he has chosen wrong profession.
"that being technically good is good enough to get promoted and get pay rises" - it's not?
West coast is so soft.
If you hate your job you should quit asap. End of story.
It's a common enough way to put it, I think it needs commentary. Putting it the other way round it becomes funny:
- If you love your job you shouldn't leave it for any reason
- Conditions and circumstances don't matter, do something you like
- Your 8h at work are more important than the 16h left in the day
- If you love your job you shouldn't leave it for any reason
- Conditions and circumstances don't matter, do something you like
- Your 8h at work are more important than the 16h left in the day
I'll forward my mortgage, health insurance and credit card bills to you then?
You quit.
I'm walking the tightrope of surviving a work environment I despise right now. The crux of the game I'm currently locked in is I naively accepted a relocation package, provided in true corporate style by several layers of delightfully asinine outsourced middleman companies. If I leave before a certain date, I'm on the hook for the inflated dollar amount of all that "service", even though I could have moved myself for a tiny fraction of that value. Movers and shakers of the world, keep on making up games for everybody else to play, so we never get bored.
I had the exact same problem. That relocation package doesn't look so hot now, does it?
I now follow a few rules before accepting a package like this:
1. It must be pro-rata- That means that the amount you need to pay back must go down with time. So if you leave after 1 year of a 2 year notice period, you must only pay back 50%.
2. Like you discovered, the company can overpay for services and stick you with the bill. So always insist on paying for relocation yourself, and get money back via a expenses form. You will be short of cash in the short term, but it will save you pain in the long term.
3. If possible, try to negotiate a "hiring bonus." This may not be possible unless you are famous (or needed for a critical project), but if you can get the company to give you some extra cash, you can pay for relocation yourself. This is the best option, as you owe the company nothing.
I now follow a few rules before accepting a package like this:
1. It must be pro-rata- That means that the amount you need to pay back must go down with time. So if you leave after 1 year of a 2 year notice period, you must only pay back 50%.
2. Like you discovered, the company can overpay for services and stick you with the bill. So always insist on paying for relocation yourself, and get money back via a expenses form. You will be short of cash in the short term, but it will save you pain in the long term.
3. If possible, try to negotiate a "hiring bonus." This may not be possible unless you are famous (or needed for a critical project), but if you can get the company to give you some extra cash, you can pay for relocation yourself. This is the best option, as you owe the company nothing.
caveat: hiring bonus is taxeable, so you can't expect to net 60-65 percent; reimbursed relocation expenses aren't per my understanding
so the company has to boost the hiring bonus by 2/3 to get you to where you would be otherwise
so the company has to boost the hiring bonus by 2/3 to get you to where you would be otherwise
I try and find the time to build up my skills which is already a source of much anxiety. I came from a LAMP background building websites as a freelancer before I went off to University to make it official. Coming out of Uni, it's like I'm starting from scratch. Go, Dart, a plethora of frontend tech. It's enough to make me insecure.
I've become very frugal. Heck, I don't even have health insurance. I have a tiny shoebox apartment kitchen so stocking up and cooking is pretty difficult. I tend to wait for the supermarket deli to do its clearance in the evening. Half price off all sandwiches!
I've also been diagnosed with chronic depression so it's not like things were so great even before the job. This leads me to what the author said on 'Changing your environment'. I've developed a lot of bad habits and while I've attempted CBT, a lot of the time I just go back into that cesspool of depression, of eating copious amounts of terrible food, sleeping all day and putting off all work. I could have a better job and still end up the same way, I'm aware of that possibility.
Another thing that I keep telling myself is this is a job, it's work. It was never meant to be fun and games.