It's not clear that I need mine either. But whenever I try to get off my medication (Effexor), I just can't: with a month, I am having debilitating anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I have to live with horrible side effects for the rest of my life.
Adjusting to a new company takes time. Most reasonable managers understand that - I hope yours is. Just out of curiosity, what is the tech stack/language?
I agree with your description. The devil on my other shoulder tries to argue with me about being knowledgeable about the world so that I can do something about it. Support my causes by protesting, donating etc Instead I get into snark warfare on twitter :-(
The purpose of learning is for my own education (and for a tangential benefit at work). I will be able to keep notes with me. Thankfully I am way past the point where I have to sit in examinations.
I wonder whether HN has heard of "Linear Algebra" by Hoffman and Kunze. I learned from it as an undergraduate and remember it being told that it was a classic. Another more abstract book is by the great Halmos: "Finite Dimensional Vector Spaces". Both books will stretch and entertain you.
One question for all the self-learners here (I have immense admiration). Do these courses inform your day to day job in some way? Or is this for personal knowledge (even more impressive)? How do you find the damn time? Need some suggestions. My goals are infinite and my time is so short.