This question suggests to me that you haven't fallen victim to (what I hear) Russian propaganda on its war effort. Perhaps it is because you are in software and better connected to the world via the internet.
What is the feeling of the rest of the Russian population to the war?
I have nothing useful to offer you other than my heartfelt tears and my sorrow. Your writing moved me in a way I cannot explain. God bless you and your family.
I am using nicotine gum to quit smoking, using about 5 4mg gums/day. I have substituted one addiction for another. I am also worried that these gums are not benign and whether there is a higher risk of cancer from using them. Someone told me to instead use Zyn - thankfully I stayed away from that.
When you read technical books for fun, do you do the exercises and projects at the end of chapters? I have found that when I read and don't actually use the concepts learned, I tend to forget after some time.