This comment seems really broad, I've worked in big and small companies and the size of the company had nothing to do with whether or not I was given the ownership and freedom to be creative. On what basis are you judging that this is the case?
I think that's an important catch, flow breaking can happen dependent on what hardware you're using and how you swap in next-hops. It definitely requires a deep understanding of how flows are hashed.
Why would this be a nightmare to document? This is an approach that has been successfully implemented and maintained in many companies, I think it's more a matter of whether or not this approach works for your team, not whether or not it can be documented(Which it can be).
I feel like it's not just about taking advantage of a subsidy. I'm a canadian, so I'm not sure about what happens when you early terminate in the US, but here if you early terminate you have to pay a fee. So you mean to tell me that if I leave the carrier for whatever reason, and pay $250 to do so, I then am not allowed to use this phone again until I come back to the carrier? Sounds more like them trying to take advantage of me.
This kind of outlook and having a grammar test doesn't make me think that you'd be a great boss to work with, nor does it make me want to work for you. I may not be the cultural fit you're looking for, but undoubtedly you're shrinking your potential talent pool and removing exceptional candidates by just sounding like a stiff and non-flexible place to work, as a programmer.
I totally agree that maybe people shouldn't be HAVE to buy certificates for their binaries. In that case you should be making moves towards eliminating that process, ignoring the fact that it's necessary in the current market and then being upset when you're missing 50% of your profits is a whole other story entirely.
How about submitting the hashes over https, at the very least somebody could be sniffing the traffic from your site and gathering the hash list for themselves..
How is it possible that you've never gotten a job from sending a resume? I'm generally curious how that's possible, unless you're doing all freelance work?