It's true that maybe it matters where you are. I imagine SF and Seattle might be different.
I was recently in <another major US tech center city> for a bit and didn't have trouble getting dates on Tinder, and picked up a 26yo girl from Seattle in a bar.
I don't think I'm good looking, but I am interesting. I talk well with people both online and in person.
> Also - I take “average looking white guy” with a grain of salt.
Well thanks and I wish that was true. But balding, middle aged, slightly overweight computer programmer here.
I don't have acne I guess and I try to dress well, and like I said above I'm interesting.
I also taught myself how to actively listen. Someone once told me they'd met Bill Clinton, and he had the ability to make people feel like they were the most important person in the whole world when he spoke to them, and they said I'm like that.
I'm not discounting your experience and the stats that say what they do. But I know how bad I was with women when I was in my 20s and when I meet many guys who complain about this I see the same behaviors I had.
I'm a pretty average looking white guy and I'd say you are completely wrong in your assessment.
Have you actually tried this?
It's true that women get a lot more approaches a lot quicker then men. But this whole "oh no I'm a guy the world is against me" is nonsense. You need to seem interesting in some way.
I'm a middle age balding white guy and I can find more women who want me to top them on Tinder (let alone Feeld!) than I can handle. If you don't believe me, post a pic of some shibari and see what happens (assuming you have normal Tinder profile with face pics and you don't seem too weird). I'm sure you'd find the same thing.
Fetlife is in trouble because of the combination of Facebook (which you can find groups for if your kink is less challenging that needle play!) and OF which causes so much spamming.
> Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV.
You realize this is of course a joke? Every country in the world decreases birthrate as their socio-economic stability increases, because in part they no longer have to rely on having lots of kids to take care of them when they are old.
The rest of your comment goes almost exactly against the story that is linked? That is about how technology is making it a lot easier for people to connect in person?
It frustrates me that this thoughtless conservatism goes unchallenged on HN.
Someone asked how it compares to FetLife but deleted their question.
My response was:
Many more swingers.
I've never tried to use FetLife as a dating app. But in my city I recognize many people across the both (so yes a lot of people into kink, which often doesn't really overlap much with the swinger community).
I'm on Feeld and wow the headline for article is a weird take.
Compared to Tinder and Bumble there aren't many people (which isn't surprising) and it's very explicitly about non-vanilla sex, and I would never have thought that "emotionally mature" would characterize the people on it.
I'm in my 40s and I have trouble finding people my age. It's ok if you want to find a rope bunny or something like that though.
When I was in a relationship we tried it for threesomes and TBH had more luck with that on Tinder.
Also the "cores" concept is just strange. Why did they choose the cities they did? In Australia you can see who is in Melbourne but not Sydney (And Sydney is kind of an iconic gay city, which has a lot of cross over into kink).
On Feeld I had a scenery photo to keep my identity secret. That isn't uncommon.