I think first off you need to accept where you are, it is completely fine to be where you are. You are not inherently deficient in any way. If you can be okay with this, others can too. Now, this means practicing awareness of your own behavior and thought and just notice when you start doing something that is driven by some kind of underlying shame that you are not 'enough' in some way (and also just the basic need to be loved). If you can notice it happening you can also practice making a choice of letting it go.
Say you're in a situation where people are talking about something you are completely inexperienced in. Many a nerd (myself included) will have kind of like a knee-jerk reaction and either bring up learned information about said area and try to "win" by knowing the most, feel a sense of inadequacy which makes you put up a front of "fake it til you make it". If you notice this, you can just give up this fight of trying to "be more" than you are. Be open, say you have to experience, ask what others experience is, use your strength of being naturally inquiring and curious! (Also just rejoice in how liberating it is to not try and uphold a fantasy image).
Once you get going with this more and more situations will present themselves where you suddenly notice that you're not letting yourself be. They can be anything for old hiccups to judging others. Each one is a victory and soon you will start feeling free, free to engage in random social encounters because you actually don't have anything to loose, you don't have to protect a fragile sense of self from being exposed as the fake that it was. This is how I learnt to be open to life in the for me newfound sense of the saying. There's a lot of good books on this if it is something that interests you. If it isn't you shouldn't read them :D
Now, all this is from my experience, and I don't really know you. I've just assembled my own prototype version of your personality from friends who've experienced similar situations.
Also: Once you go into a relationship, don't do it as a project to win. Make sure to be alert towards your own feelings.
Say you're in a situation where people are talking about something you are completely inexperienced in. Many a nerd (myself included) will have kind of like a knee-jerk reaction and either bring up learned information about said area and try to "win" by knowing the most, feel a sense of inadequacy which makes you put up a front of "fake it til you make it". If you notice this, you can just give up this fight of trying to "be more" than you are. Be open, say you have to experience, ask what others experience is, use your strength of being naturally inquiring and curious! (Also just rejoice in how liberating it is to not try and uphold a fantasy image).
Once you get going with this more and more situations will present themselves where you suddenly notice that you're not letting yourself be. They can be anything for old hiccups to judging others. Each one is a victory and soon you will start feeling free, free to engage in random social encounters because you actually don't have anything to loose, you don't have to protect a fragile sense of self from being exposed as the fake that it was. This is how I learnt to be open to life in the for me newfound sense of the saying. There's a lot of good books on this if it is something that interests you. If it isn't you shouldn't read them :D
Now, all this is from my experience, and I don't really know you. I've just assembled my own prototype version of your personality from friends who've experienced similar situations.
Also: Once you go into a relationship, don't do it as a project to win. Make sure to be alert towards your own feelings.