As a young male engineer in SF who is very much not the brogrammer type, I can understand where the author is coming from. I'm neither a bro, nor a nerd. I find myself in a vacuum sometimes, wondering where the other "well rounded" guys from "flyover country" are. Everyone seems to be too caught up in their startups or caught up in the money. Or their so nerdy that it's impossible to have an honest conversation with them. (Engineers can be so self-righteous sometimes.)
There is a lost art that these tech hubs need to find again. Maybe it's "being a gentleman". Or "being a renaissance person". There are so many soft skills that most people (young tech guys) lack.
* How do you have a conversation with someone not from your socioeconomic/political/technological/generational background?
* How do you treat a woman with respect and dignity?
* How do you "pick up girls" without needing to resort to the absurd tactics of The Game?
* How do you host a dinner party?
* How do you approach the arts and culture?
* How do you pay attention to world news and politics?
* How do you dress respectfully?
* Can you debate philosophy gracefully and purposefully?
From the outside perspective, I'm one of the rich, dumb tech nerds that this article is rallying against. I'm a white kid from flyover country. I have a lot of money. My company is very successful by all standard measures. I'm an engineer, I like science fiction.
It's funny, though, when people (especially women) meet me. They are often surprised that I am not an idiot brogrammer. I can carry on a conversation about topics outside of tech. I have opinions about the arts and music. I can discuss world politics with knowledge and tact. I know how to carry a conversation: give and take, tell jokes, etc. I have traveled widely.
Because of this differentiation, I've found it very easy to pick up women in SF. Women are surprised to find a genuine person who actually cares about them, what their passions are, what they think.
I know I'm not perfect, and I certainly am striving to do better at all of these things. But I know I'm one of the few who actually pursues these activities and has interest in these kinds of soft skills. I wish more people took this approach. I would have more friends, the women of tech hubs would write fewer articles about idiot brogrammers, and we'd all live a more fulfilling and happy life.
So here's a plea: let's make a finishing school for nerds. We would all benefit.
As a young male engineer in SF who is very much not the brogrammer type, I can understand where the author is coming from. I'm neither a bro, nor a nerd. I find myself in a vacuum sometimes, wondering where the other "well rounded" guys from "flyover country" are. Everyone seems to be too caught up in their startups or caught up in the money. Or their so nerdy that it's impossible to have an honest conversation with them. (Engineers can be so self-righteous sometimes.)
There is a lost art that these tech hubs need to find again. Maybe it's "being a gentleman". Or "being a renaissance person". There are so many soft skills that most people (young tech guys) lack.
* How do you have a conversation with someone not from your socioeconomic/political/technological/generational background? * How do you treat a woman with respect and dignity? * How do you "pick up girls" without needing to resort to the absurd tactics of The Game? * How do you host a dinner party? * How do you approach the arts and culture? * How do you pay attention to world news and politics? * How do you dress respectfully? * Can you debate philosophy gracefully and purposefully?
From the outside perspective, I'm one of the rich, dumb tech nerds that this article is rallying against. I'm a white kid from flyover country. I have a lot of money. My company is very successful by all standard measures. I'm an engineer, I like science fiction.
It's funny, though, when people (especially women) meet me. They are often surprised that I am not an idiot brogrammer. I can carry on a conversation about topics outside of tech. I have opinions about the arts and music. I can discuss world politics with knowledge and tact. I know how to carry a conversation: give and take, tell jokes, etc. I have traveled widely.
Because of this differentiation, I've found it very easy to pick up women in SF. Women are surprised to find a genuine person who actually cares about them, what their passions are, what they think.
I know I'm not perfect, and I certainly am striving to do better at all of these things. But I know I'm one of the few who actually pursues these activities and has interest in these kinds of soft skills. I wish more people took this approach. I would have more friends, the women of tech hubs would write fewer articles about idiot brogrammers, and we'd all live a more fulfilling and happy life.
So here's a plea: let's make a finishing school for nerds. We would all benefit.