I wouldnt call Tailscale "useless" in that case. If you use Tailscale there, you dont have to port forward, so you have no exposure to the general internet. No one bashing on your port, looking for vulnerabilities. You don't need a DDNS, since Tailscale gives you a fixed address for your machine that persists. So you can set a single CNAME record with your Domain hosting service and you're done. And Tailscale has clients for all platforms, including mobile, so it "just works" with all your devices. It's free for up to 20 devices.
I think the point here is that trains go for hundreds of miles faster than a Tesla. If you're going 800 miles, a train might well get there first, though a Tesla's top speed is 4x the trains.
From Know Your Meme:
The Ratio or Ratioed refers to an unofficial Twitter law which states that if the amount of replies to a tweet greatly outnumbers the number of retweets and likes, then the tweet is bad. Additionally, "to ratio" a tweet means to make a quote retweet or reply that manages to get more likes and retweets than the quoted post.