While I like idea, I'm almost afraid to try it out. Just in case, like you experienced with Kaiware sprouts, I might fall in love with a certain candy, that might be outrageously expensive or impossible to import in larger quantities. It would break my culinary heart.
You should also consider a 1/2 or 1-year gift option.
I had the same reaction. While somewhat pessimistic and possibly offensive toward some visitors, it distills the times found around the web in an eloquent, satirical manner.
While I prefer offensive and rotten humor, many would argue this type of remark defies all sorts of social media "how-to"s and guidelines for positive engagement yada yada.
You should also consider a 1/2 or 1-year gift option.