Ask HN: Which psychological hacks do you use to motivate you and feel happy?
5 comments
If there were something like this, a book, startup, or nonprofit would have totally replaced the need for therapy.
What you're looking for is therapy. It takes a long time. There are little things you can do, but generally motivation and happiness are deeply rooted in things like your personality, income level, and a myriad of external factors that can't just be "hacked".
You can, however, do the following, which are known to be done by happy people (causal relationship is not necessarily established):
1. Exercise daily
2. Eat food in moderation, and mostly healthy food
3. Maintain close relationships with friends and family (loneliness is very bad for your health)
4. Write down 5 things you're thankful for every day
5. Meditate, practice mindfulness, or otherwise clear and focus your mind for a non-trivial amount of time every day
6. Similar to #5: take time to be bored
What you're looking for is therapy. It takes a long time. There are little things you can do, but generally motivation and happiness are deeply rooted in things like your personality, income level, and a myriad of external factors that can't just be "hacked".
You can, however, do the following, which are known to be done by happy people (causal relationship is not necessarily established):
1. Exercise daily
2. Eat food in moderation, and mostly healthy food
3. Maintain close relationships with friends and family (loneliness is very bad for your health)
4. Write down 5 things you're thankful for every day
5. Meditate, practice mindfulness, or otherwise clear and focus your mind for a non-trivial amount of time every day
6. Similar to #5: take time to be bored
This outline already is a motivating plan to follow. Thank you very much for sharing.
I don't seem to have tested 4., 5., and 6. in my daily routine yet, and will therefore hang a sticky for these to my screen and start practicing on these.
I don't seem to have tested 4., 5., and 6. in my daily routine yet, and will therefore hang a sticky for these to my screen and start practicing on these.
Good luck. I admire your drive to improve yourself.
A note on mindfulness: it's often intertwined with New Age-y bullshit, but the core of it is actually very powerful. It was studied scientifically in the 60s, forgotten about, and has come back into the scientific mainstream in the last 20 years. All research that's been done so far shows that it's beneficial, although how much depends on many factors. It seems to be better than placebo at treating depression and anxiety disorders.
So if you plan to look into mindfulness, try to find a scientific/secular approach that doesn't feed you the New Age stuff.
A note on mindfulness: it's often intertwined with New Age-y bullshit, but the core of it is actually very powerful. It was studied scientifically in the 60s, forgotten about, and has come back into the scientific mainstream in the last 20 years. All research that's been done so far shows that it's beneficial, although how much depends on many factors. It seems to be better than placebo at treating depression and anxiety disorders.
So if you plan to look into mindfulness, try to find a scientific/secular approach that doesn't feed you the New Age stuff.
On the same lines of the previous comment, I've found this book to be very useful:
http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-Go-There-Are/dp/140130778...
Was recommended on one of HN's threads about meditation.
http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-Go-There-Are/dp/140130778...
Was recommended on one of HN's threads about meditation.
#2 is really important. Avoiding the lethargy that comes with stuffing yourself goes a long way to making your day-to-day better.
I think for all of us it is a lifelong struggle, but here are some things I do:
- If I'm stuck I take a walk.
- Tackle the hard/unknown/risky stuff first.
- Do the boring/easy stuff after lunch when I'm sleepy.
- The hardest thing is getting started.
- Let the little things build up for a while so you can do a bunch at once.
- Sometimes ignoring a problem works really well! I'd never have accepted that when I was younger, but really, sometimes problems are not urgent and ignoring them makes them go away. But sometimes not.
- If I hit my revenue goal for the month I buy myself a bottle of scotch. Maybe this habit isn't so healthy. :-)
- If I'm stuck I take a walk.
- Tackle the hard/unknown/risky stuff first.
- Do the boring/easy stuff after lunch when I'm sleepy.
- The hardest thing is getting started.
- Let the little things build up for a while so you can do a bunch at once.
- Sometimes ignoring a problem works really well! I'd never have accepted that when I was younger, but really, sometimes problems are not urgent and ignoring them makes them go away. But sometimes not.
- If I hit my revenue goal for the month I buy myself a bottle of scotch. Maybe this habit isn't so healthy. :-)
Tricking yourself into doing one of the smallest things from your todo list works. Usually you end up doing much more.
Writing todo lists helps too, but not immediately. It forces you into thinking mode and you may end up doing a lot of the work next day.
But there is still a limit. You cannot be productive 40 hours per week.
Writing todo lists helps too, but not immediately. It forces you into thinking mode and you may end up doing a lot of the work next day.
But there is still a limit. You cannot be productive 40 hours per week.
The key for me was in acknowledging that I am not a machine and cannot be productive every single hour of the week. For the past 6-7 years I've been struggling with anxiety disorder and it's only recently that I discovered (with the help of a psychiatrist) that part of it was being caused by me setting unrealistic expectations on myself. Todo lists are great, but to prevent unhealthy obsession, at the end of each day I would focus on what I got accomplished rather than what I didn't get accomplished. Also make sure the list is reasonable because if it is not, it will just draw attention to how (seemingly) unproductive you were that day.
Good On you mate ! Thanks for sharing.
The more honest, transparent and unattached to feelings and stuff I am the more tranquility I am able to feel.
To help me I do Taoist Tai Chi, meditate, see a therapist and read books and blogs that is about being happier and balanced.
What has surprised me the most is how "silent" my mind and my life is now, happiness and getting things done is somehow inverse to how "busy" you feel and how much static noise is in your head!
I would say that every time I make a leap in my happines and efficiency it is because I am transparent and honest about something personal, I believe it is because by understanding and embracing myself I stop using energy being ashamed about who I am and release all that energy to create.
To help me I do Taoist Tai Chi, meditate, see a therapist and read books and blogs that is about being happier and balanced.
What has surprised me the most is how "silent" my mind and my life is now, happiness and getting things done is somehow inverse to how "busy" you feel and how much static noise is in your head!
I would say that every time I make a leap in my happines and efficiency it is because I am transparent and honest about something personal, I believe it is because by understanding and embracing myself I stop using energy being ashamed about who I am and release all that energy to create.
Get done things that matter to you. Focus and happiness become byproducts of the process.
Looks like you've never experienced anxiety, depression.... Getting things done isn't easy.
Since I don't assume that everyone on the internet has a clinical diagnosis, I didn't read the question as a cry for help, but rather as a normal question relating to living a good life. Had I seen it as a cry for help, I would have recommended talking to a therapist, not just because that has worked for me but because my spouse is one and thus I've spent much of my adult life around clinical professionals who treat depression, anxiety, etc. day in and out. Those experiences are also why I trust my intuitions.
Anyway, my point probably wasn't clear enough. I am suggesting to work on things that are intrinsically important rather than extrinsically important. By this I mean, don't prioritize what you think other people think you should do and prioritize what you feel you must do because it makes you you.
As Socrates would say "γνῶθι σεαυτόν".
Anyway, my point probably wasn't clear enough. I am suggesting to work on things that are intrinsically important rather than extrinsically important. By this I mean, don't prioritize what you think other people think you should do and prioritize what you feel you must do because it makes you you.
As Socrates would say "γνῶθι σεαυτόν".
Have you been in this situation and did you find something that "magically" made you feel good and productive? Please share your insight.