Make Yourself Uncomfortable(hellosorld.com)
hellosorld.com
Make Yourself Uncomfortable
http://hellosorld.com/personal/2009/10/29/make-yourself-uncomfortable.html
6 comments
I have one rule that has served me well.
"When in doubt, go out."
If I ever find myself asking whether I should go to an event/party/meeting and the alternative involves staying home, I go out. It's always the right choice.
"When in doubt, go out."
If I ever find myself asking whether I should go to an event/party/meeting and the alternative involves staying home, I go out. It's always the right choice.
Last year I was in a place where I hated going out. I wanted to go out but hated the available options. This year, I found something interesting: While I go out much more than I did last year, and always find something or other to occupy my time, I didn't instantly become a partier. Today I left the social gathering I went to early, and avoided a wilder party and a late-night movie. Partly it's just that I really don't like being around people for long periods of time. I'm not comfortable with most people I meet, and while I can handle mixed company, it's always with a bit too much cynicism and negativity and I don't like being the person who's known for knocking other people down.
There's a difference between being scared/incapable of going out and choosing deliberately not to. Some people, myself included, prefer our own company to those of others.
There's a difference between being scared/incapable of going out and choosing deliberately not to. Some people, myself included, prefer our own company to those of others.
I hear you loud and clear. I'm an introvert myself and believe that people like us 'recharge' through quality time alone.
That said, I think it's a real handicap that can be overcome, like any other, by consistently pushing ourselves to go out and be social in some appropriate way, on a regular basis.
If you're making something truly cool, I guarantee there are people out there who might not be your target audience, but might know someone who knows someone who is. You'll never make that connection unless you go out. It sucks but extroverts have a big advantage in these areas.
That said, I think it's a real handicap that can be overcome, like any other, by consistently pushing ourselves to go out and be social in some appropriate way, on a regular basis.
If you're making something truly cool, I guarantee there are people out there who might not be your target audience, but might know someone who knows someone who is. You'll never make that connection unless you go out. It sucks but extroverts have a big advantage in these areas.
Except it's not always the right choice. How many times do you have to go out and regret it before learning to say no?
In theory it's not always the right choice.
But in practice, choosing to be social instead of skulking around on the internet or watching TV by myself at home has turned out to be the right choice 100% of the time.
But in practice, choosing to be social instead of skulking around on the internet or watching TV by myself at home has turned out to be the right choice 100% of the time.
For you.
I don't know your situation, but I think making more connections with other people is innately and completely a good thing. I didn't want to go to a happy hour the other night, but followed my rule and dragged myself down there. Turns out I met the media buyer for an advertiser I've been trying to connect with. Completely random luck, right? Well yes, except that I put myself in a position to meet this guy by stepping out.
This might be related to FOMO (fear of missing out).
For me it's the opposite, a way to overcome my fear of being bored/uncomfortable/annoyed in an environment that I don't control.
"When in doubt, go out."
Words to live by!
Words to live by!
Agree. My argument is only that you won't know whether the changes you make are positive or negative until after you try them, so change lots of stuff and see.
If you change two things at once, you won't know which change led to the response.
(I say this as an idiot who released _three_ big changes today, and is trying to work out which feature the feedback relates to.)
(I say this as an idiot who released _three_ big changes today, and is trying to work out which feature the feedback relates to.)
External factors outside of application/site exists too.
Nobody told that testing or using statistics in real life is easy. Business opportunity?
Nobody told that testing or using statistics in real life is easy. Business opportunity?
Also, always challenge yourself.
When I started my company I asked my boss from my internship what hints he had for me, he said; "You need to have way too many expenses, it keeps you on your edge."
Ofcourse he didnt mean that as, buy $100 lunches, buy overpriced crap. But buy the equipment, rent an office, buy what you need to buy, if you are afraid where you'll get the money for the next months rent you'll work that much harder to earn it.
If I cut off my right hand, will I enjoy my left hand more, or will I just be a cripple?
(This sounds the same.)
(This sounds the same.)
That's probably taking it a bit too far; but if you fund yourself by borrowing from someone who will cut off your right hand if you fail to pay him back, you just may work harder to make that money.
This is an old idea. From the Art of War: "At the critical moment, the leader of an army acts like one who has climbed up a height and then kicks away the ladder behind him. He carries his men deep into hostile territory before he shows his hand. ... He burns his boats and breaks his cooking-pots."
This is an old idea. From the Art of War: "At the critical moment, the leader of an army acts like one who has climbed up a height and then kicks away the ladder behind him. He carries his men deep into hostile territory before he shows his hand. ... He burns his boats and breaks his cooking-pots."
Well, the boss suggested to invest much of what you have early on, but on things with (perceived) returns. Sure, if you can get from 0 to product with nothing more than the laptop you already have, and if your money buys the unknown amount of time you'll need, this sounds like crippling.
When I left my day job, I expected to be in a uncomfortable zone and I am luckily still in an uncomfortable zone :)
Only thing I would like to add is that uncomfortable zone is not for everyone, I think you need to be a certain personality type to actually enjoy the uncomfortable zone.
Only thing I would like to add is that uncomfortable zone is not for everyone, I think you need to be a certain personality type to actually enjoy the uncomfortable zone.
This is perhaps true. But how would you ever know? Maybe there are people coasting along thinking "I'm not the type of person who enjoys being uncomfortable and I don't need to be" when in reality they're just boring or not changing much.
More than boring and not changing, my comment was more towards the people and their aversion to risk and the level of self - belief in them. There are days in enterpreneurs lives that are just as boring and not changing as any corporate jobs out there.
But the idea that they are working towards something bigger and the fact that they are doing it for themselves is what brings excitement to the table.
But the idea that they are working towards something bigger and the fact that they are doing it for themselves is what brings excitement to the table.
What's so inherently wrong with being boring or not changing much?
Not that I know much about psychology, but like Buddha said Change is the only constant in life. Even as children, exploration is at the root of all our instincts. Tell a child not to touch something or go near it, and he/she definitely will. As we get older, generally most people lose this exploration aspect of their daily lives in the face of jobs and careers. But the joy of exploration is always there and it always comes out when you learn something new or visit a new place, etc.
I don't have a good answer for that except that it just seems sad.
Well PG said that there are 2 types of pain. Similarly there are 2 types of uncomfortable. One needs to recognize the difference.
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I'm writing a blog post.
I'm going to entitle it "Set Yourself On Fire".
It's gonna be all about how warm it is when you set yourself on fire.
Seriously though, isn't there a difference between taking a risk and taking a risk that might pay off? If you're going to make yourself uncomfortable don't do it on blind faith, have a reason for it.
Seriously though, isn't there a difference between taking a risk and taking a risk that might pay off? If you're going to make yourself uncomfortable don't do it on blind faith, have a reason for it.
This is fundamental to start change.
If the change is positive this is another story.