Ask HN: Can you relate to the following issues? How did you deal with it?
4 comments
1. Mental exhaustion and burnout
Depending on how deep it gets the way to dealing with it changes.
I recall when I started my current job that initially I had to do tasks vey similar to what I've had to do before and that made me very nervous initially as the last time I had to do these things I ended up completely bricking myself. This time, the complete exhaustion was so far in the rear-view mirror that I could do these things almost effortlessly.
Even though they were so comparatively easy this time, I will acknowledge that I still felt some form of exhaustion nowadays. Perma-exhausted. However, it is not as dire as it once was. In the past, I needed extended sick-leave and even a sabbatical where I went back to school for a semester to study an unrelated field but nowadays when I end up in that headspace I try to guide my thoughts, ideas, and values surrounding productivity to change into something that doesn't dig me into a deeper hole.
Personally, I have to focus deeply on the concepts of rise and tide, and accepting that cyclic shifts is all around me in nature so why wouldn't it be inside me as well.
While a nature-focused approached is what I have now that might not vibe with your sensibilities so I'll share the original concept that I reappropriated to suit me: it's called "Blast and Dust" and comes from a guy called Dave Tate. I've come across a few interviews and podcasts where he mentions it but this article does an okay enough job of framing the concept: https://www.elitefts.com/education/motivation/raising-the-ba...
2. Existential crisis
I've wanted to shift into a profession that has more tangible results in the physical world and/or on the wellbeing of other people. I oftentimes find myself thinking about the bridge scene in Margin Call when I reassess what I do for a living:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Mc-38C88g
However, the thing that I have a knack for is software despite how ephemeral it is. I feel as if I'm building sand castles at the edge of the ocean and while the idea that most of everything I ever build is exceedingly and excruciatingly transient there was a point wherein I had to accept that... I enjoy building sandcastles. And, allow myself that pleasure, and maybe try to contribute to society by not beating myself up as much.
After that, I had an easier time to find hobbies in my spare-time and I invest my income into those hobbies and communities. I live for my own enjoyment, mostly, but maybe that isn't so bad if the alternative is borderline psychosis.
3. Getting lost in a noisy world
Deleting apps, and using Freedom to blacklist websites. I know working around these blocks is easy, but I try to not allow myself to reinforce the habit of circumventing these small hindrances.
4. Dopamine Overload
You'll have to elaborate, what are extravagant pleasures for you? I seek adrenaline.
5. Intolerance - Getting angry/emotional from events and people around. Unable to direct love on people.
"Leadership and Self-deception", "Anatomy of Peace", "Daring Greatly", "Wait", Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Tara Brach, and more. have been meaningful to me. The app "Compassion Lifestyle" also did some positive stuff.
And insofar as love is concerned, I needed a bit of nihilism. An excerpt from a podcast that almost envelops how I feel about fearlessly directing love to people around me:
Caleb: So you, you get that experience of like, Ooh, what if, what if this happened or this happened that could potentially change how our family dynamic would've been so, Uh, one of the punchlines to the movie is Nothing Matters. And you can take that and you could receive that statement and say, Ooh, nothing matters.
Caleb: Therefore, I'm not going to care about anything. Nothing matters that therefore, I'm going to abandon everything. Abandon morality, abandoned purpose, abandoned life, whatever that may be. Nothing matters, therefore, I do not matter. Or you could say nothing matters. There is freedom to be found there nothing matters.
Caleb: So I will take advantage of every opportunity. I will seek out new opportunities. If something isn't working for me, nothing matters. Therefore, I can have the freedom to experience different things and not worry about the consequences.
Mario: I think that's beautiful because you, it it's a, it's funny. It's it's perspective.
Mario: It's perspective, it's personality. It's kind of you, your take on it and your life experience. Cuz it's funny when you were giving all these examples of nothing matters. This to me, what if you were to tell me in life, well Mario, nothing matters in life. Okay, well I'm unabashedly, uncontrollably gonna love on you and I'm gonna un unabashedly, uncontrollably going to give all the affection that I want.
Mario: At the same time, I will also rage the want. You know, because if it doesn't matter, then what do I have to lose?
Caleb: That's it. That's it. What do you have to lose? I
Mario: have, and you know, and yet, and I think the flip side of that is since I have nothing to lose, I have everything to gain. and I don't know. Another thing too, it's funny, have you heard, I, I think it was so beautiful when you were talking about your parents and how that whole experience goes to you.
---
Don't be afraid to seek therapy, medication, self-medication (psilocybin has helped me through some rough spells), and look around for some root issues. Trauma, ADHD, ...
Good luck.
Depending on how deep it gets the way to dealing with it changes.
I recall when I started my current job that initially I had to do tasks vey similar to what I've had to do before and that made me very nervous initially as the last time I had to do these things I ended up completely bricking myself. This time, the complete exhaustion was so far in the rear-view mirror that I could do these things almost effortlessly.
Even though they were so comparatively easy this time, I will acknowledge that I still felt some form of exhaustion nowadays. Perma-exhausted. However, it is not as dire as it once was. In the past, I needed extended sick-leave and even a sabbatical where I went back to school for a semester to study an unrelated field but nowadays when I end up in that headspace I try to guide my thoughts, ideas, and values surrounding productivity to change into something that doesn't dig me into a deeper hole.
Personally, I have to focus deeply on the concepts of rise and tide, and accepting that cyclic shifts is all around me in nature so why wouldn't it be inside me as well.
While a nature-focused approached is what I have now that might not vibe with your sensibilities so I'll share the original concept that I reappropriated to suit me: it's called "Blast and Dust" and comes from a guy called Dave Tate. I've come across a few interviews and podcasts where he mentions it but this article does an okay enough job of framing the concept: https://www.elitefts.com/education/motivation/raising-the-ba...
2. Existential crisis
I've wanted to shift into a profession that has more tangible results in the physical world and/or on the wellbeing of other people. I oftentimes find myself thinking about the bridge scene in Margin Call when I reassess what I do for a living:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Mc-38C88g
However, the thing that I have a knack for is software despite how ephemeral it is. I feel as if I'm building sand castles at the edge of the ocean and while the idea that most of everything I ever build is exceedingly and excruciatingly transient there was a point wherein I had to accept that... I enjoy building sandcastles. And, allow myself that pleasure, and maybe try to contribute to society by not beating myself up as much.
After that, I had an easier time to find hobbies in my spare-time and I invest my income into those hobbies and communities. I live for my own enjoyment, mostly, but maybe that isn't so bad if the alternative is borderline psychosis.
3. Getting lost in a noisy world
Deleting apps, and using Freedom to blacklist websites. I know working around these blocks is easy, but I try to not allow myself to reinforce the habit of circumventing these small hindrances.
4. Dopamine Overload
You'll have to elaborate, what are extravagant pleasures for you? I seek adrenaline.
5. Intolerance - Getting angry/emotional from events and people around. Unable to direct love on people.
"Leadership and Self-deception", "Anatomy of Peace", "Daring Greatly", "Wait", Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Tara Brach, and more. have been meaningful to me. The app "Compassion Lifestyle" also did some positive stuff.
And insofar as love is concerned, I needed a bit of nihilism. An excerpt from a podcast that almost envelops how I feel about fearlessly directing love to people around me:
Caleb: So you, you get that experience of like, Ooh, what if, what if this happened or this happened that could potentially change how our family dynamic would've been so, Uh, one of the punchlines to the movie is Nothing Matters. And you can take that and you could receive that statement and say, Ooh, nothing matters.
Caleb: Therefore, I'm not going to care about anything. Nothing matters that therefore, I'm going to abandon everything. Abandon morality, abandoned purpose, abandoned life, whatever that may be. Nothing matters, therefore, I do not matter. Or you could say nothing matters. There is freedom to be found there nothing matters.
Caleb: So I will take advantage of every opportunity. I will seek out new opportunities. If something isn't working for me, nothing matters. Therefore, I can have the freedom to experience different things and not worry about the consequences.
Mario: I think that's beautiful because you, it it's a, it's funny. It's it's perspective.
Mario: It's perspective, it's personality. It's kind of you, your take on it and your life experience. Cuz it's funny when you were giving all these examples of nothing matters. This to me, what if you were to tell me in life, well Mario, nothing matters in life. Okay, well I'm unabashedly, uncontrollably gonna love on you and I'm gonna un unabashedly, uncontrollably going to give all the affection that I want.
Mario: At the same time, I will also rage the want. You know, because if it doesn't matter, then what do I have to lose?
Caleb: That's it. That's it. What do you have to lose? I
Mario: have, and you know, and yet, and I think the flip side of that is since I have nothing to lose, I have everything to gain. and I don't know. Another thing too, it's funny, have you heard, I, I think it was so beautiful when you were talking about your parents and how that whole experience goes to you.
---
Don't be afraid to seek therapy, medication, self-medication (psilocybin has helped me through some rough spells), and look around for some root issues. Trauma, ADHD, ...
Good luck.
Thank you for this. I've been dealing with these issues more than usual lately and this was helpful to read.
Yes, lots of us do.
Patience, persistence and at least a few good relationships get you through. No magic.
Patience, persistence and at least a few good relationships get you through. No magic.
Sounds like you need to unplug man. Ya know, get some R&R.
Everyone experiences these feelings to some degree. And people always have.
Ignore or (better) quit social media. Don’t worry about the news. Don’t worry or get upset about things you can’t influence or change. Do the best you can with your work, take satisfaction in that, and the paycheck. Spend time with friends and people who care about you. Have kids, they will give your life some meaning, and distraction.
Ignore or (better) quit social media. Don’t worry about the news. Don’t worry or get upset about things you can’t influence or change. Do the best you can with your work, take satisfaction in that, and the paycheck. Spend time with friends and people who care about you. Have kids, they will give your life some meaning, and distraction.
2. Existential crisis - What am I living for?
3. Getting lost in a noisy world - Age of fake influencers creating hype cycles and FOMO. Invoking self doubt and questioning your career path.
4. Dopamine Overload - Unable to take pleasure from simple things in life. A need to find more extravagant pleasures.
5. Intolerance - Getting angry/emotional from events and people around. Unable to direct love on people.