Help I'm Losing My Writing Ability
22 comments
Chill out. You're only 16. You're not "losing" anything other than immaturity. You just have writer's block, and your writing probably isn't as good as you're describing it in the first place, so don't get too hung up about it.
And before you get defensive, let me tell you, if you pursue writing professionally, you'll learn this on your own pretty quickly. A critic or a professor will knock you on your ass and show you flaws in your work you'd never even considered. I don't care how much of a prodigy you are, you have a lot to learn.
The way you treat writer's block is through attrition. Just keep writing. No professional writer in the universe ever made it on talent alone, and the secret they all have is that they just write, a lot, every day, whether they feel like it or whether they think it's any good or not.
Also, this: "My vocabulary was wide and far-ranging, and I often utilized five to six different words, all synonyms, to re-iterate the same point in an argument..." is a feature, not a bug. Learning to articulate big ideas with simple words is one of the hardest, but most important, lessons to learn as a writer.
TL;DR there's nothing wrong with you and every writer experiences this. Keep calm and carry on.
And before you get defensive, let me tell you, if you pursue writing professionally, you'll learn this on your own pretty quickly. A critic or a professor will knock you on your ass and show you flaws in your work you'd never even considered. I don't care how much of a prodigy you are, you have a lot to learn.
The way you treat writer's block is through attrition. Just keep writing. No professional writer in the universe ever made it on talent alone, and the secret they all have is that they just write, a lot, every day, whether they feel like it or whether they think it's any good or not.
Also, this: "My vocabulary was wide and far-ranging, and I often utilized five to six different words, all synonyms, to re-iterate the same point in an argument..." is a feature, not a bug. Learning to articulate big ideas with simple words is one of the hardest, but most important, lessons to learn as a writer.
TL;DR there's nothing wrong with you and every writer experiences this. Keep calm and carry on.
Hi,
I'm a professional writer and much much older than you.
Writing, sometimes, is hard. The more you aspire to excellence, the harder it can become if you let it. And you should aspire. You're never good enough.
Here are a few things that may help from my experience.
1) Relax and enjoy it. 2) Separate the creative process from the editing process. That is, on first-draft just let it flow. Write anything and everything that comes to mind. Don't worry about vocabulary, spelling, grammar, political correctness, offending your dog. Just get it out. Put on your editor's hat only after you've sputtered out. Then go back, rewrite, and edit. Fine writing is REWRITING. Sometimes many passes; many drafts. 3) Keep a notebook. When your mind tickles you with a phrase about anything, write it down. Your subconscious mind is your best friend. But it's shy, easily offended. Censor yourself and it'll shut down. Invite it in and it'll serve you with ideas, images, and language of startling beauty and relevance. It'll also deceive you into believing that something it delivers is better than it is. But you can deal with this during the editing/rewriting phase. 4) Give yourself permission to write. And to publish. Keep in mind that you can't please everyone with your writing. No matter how fine a writer you are, some readers will reject you for uncounted reasons. Your goal as a writer is to minimize the number of readers who do so. 5) Writing is simply another way of talking. You talk naturally. If you relax, you'll learn to write naturally. To write well you do need to learn and absorb the basics of spelling, grammar, logic, formatting conventions, etc., etc. These technicalities should be internalized like muscle memory. But don't worry about that crap while writing the first draft. Just get it out.
Hope this helps.
LRP
I'm a professional writer and much much older than you.
Writing, sometimes, is hard. The more you aspire to excellence, the harder it can become if you let it. And you should aspire. You're never good enough.
Here are a few things that may help from my experience.
1) Relax and enjoy it. 2) Separate the creative process from the editing process. That is, on first-draft just let it flow. Write anything and everything that comes to mind. Don't worry about vocabulary, spelling, grammar, political correctness, offending your dog. Just get it out. Put on your editor's hat only after you've sputtered out. Then go back, rewrite, and edit. Fine writing is REWRITING. Sometimes many passes; many drafts. 3) Keep a notebook. When your mind tickles you with a phrase about anything, write it down. Your subconscious mind is your best friend. But it's shy, easily offended. Censor yourself and it'll shut down. Invite it in and it'll serve you with ideas, images, and language of startling beauty and relevance. It'll also deceive you into believing that something it delivers is better than it is. But you can deal with this during the editing/rewriting phase. 4) Give yourself permission to write. And to publish. Keep in mind that you can't please everyone with your writing. No matter how fine a writer you are, some readers will reject you for uncounted reasons. Your goal as a writer is to minimize the number of readers who do so. 5) Writing is simply another way of talking. You talk naturally. If you relax, you'll learn to write naturally. To write well you do need to learn and absorb the basics of spelling, grammar, logic, formatting conventions, etc., etc. These technicalities should be internalized like muscle memory. But don't worry about that crap while writing the first draft. Just get it out.
Hope this helps.
LRP
You sound like a very self aware individual (hard not to be if writing is your passion).
But...I think you have to remember you're 16. Nothing you do is ever set in stone, regardless of age and everyone goes through changes. Teens go through changes that are a more volatile.
Try reframing it in your head. Personally, it seems like you're just "not into" writing right now. There's nothing wrong with that. There could be a deeper root cause, but I doubt you'll truly find it.
Keep writing (I guess you'll have to) and things may clear themselves up. Self awareness isn't always a great thing ;)
But...I think you have to remember you're 16. Nothing you do is ever set in stone, regardless of age and everyone goes through changes. Teens go through changes that are a more volatile.
Try reframing it in your head. Personally, it seems like you're just "not into" writing right now. There's nothing wrong with that. There could be a deeper root cause, but I doubt you'll truly find it.
Keep writing (I guess you'll have to) and things may clear themselves up. Self awareness isn't always a great thing ;)
Yes, absolutely right. All bets are off during puberty. You're undergoing massive physiological changes, caused by hormonal changes the likes of which you'll never see again (until menopause, if you're female). I had a lot of this trouble as a teenager; it often seemed like I simply had no retention, and I consistently forgot skills (mainly math) that I had thought to be committed to reflexive memory.
My bet is that this stuff will be sorted once your body settles down. And maybe well before then.
My bet is that this stuff will be sorted once your body settles down. And maybe well before then.
I had the same thing happen to me. I realized it was because I stopped reading regularly. Before, I would used to read at least 1-2 novels (100-200 pages per book) a day. And during that time period, I had an awesome vocabulary and I could basically spell anything without having to look it up. But now I get mixed up on whether certain words have double letters or not. Now that I've stopped reading regularly due to time constraints, my writing and spelling ability has basically died.
Could be stress/tiredness from studying for your exams? What you say sounds quite drastic though... like the result of a head injury.
On the other hand, your current state of having to struggle for every sentence is more in line with the vast majority of peoples' normal experience when it comes to writing.
On the other hand, your current state of having to struggle for every sentence is more in line with the vast majority of peoples' normal experience when it comes to writing.
Oh and by the way I don't want to come off as being thought as a patronizing 'genius' or anything.
I don't consider myself to be super-smart or have some prodigal intelligence, and my school isn't MENSA. I'm in an average high school.
It's just that I feel my creative potential has been stifled. Thanks for understanding.
I don't consider myself to be super-smart or have some prodigal intelligence, and my school isn't MENSA. I'm in an average high school.
It's just that I feel my creative potential has been stifled. Thanks for understanding.
Have you ever had the experience (usually while walking and wearing headphones) of being aware of your breathing? And suddenly breathing is tricky? You don't know if you're breathing loudly or to deeply?
All your life you've been breathing and never noticed it, and then you notice it, and how weird it is.
Do you think this may be what you're experiencing? Just increased awareness?
As an over-cautious footnote: This will probably not happen, but if you start to notice "odd" things; (people who can put thoughts in your head, or hearing voices, or whatnot) please seek psychiatric assistance. Early intervention is important. But, like I say, this is almost certainly not relevant!
All your life you've been breathing and never noticed it, and then you notice it, and how weird it is.
Do you think this may be what you're experiencing? Just increased awareness?
As an over-cautious footnote: This will probably not happen, but if you start to notice "odd" things; (people who can put thoughts in your head, or hearing voices, or whatnot) please seek psychiatric assistance. Early intervention is important. But, like I say, this is almost certainly not relevant!
I don't know if it is related or not, but I find my ability to use pens and pencils has greatly diminished since I started to use the keyboard. My handwriting was never great but over the years it has dropped to a level that is best described as illegible.
I can type about as fast as I think, a speed that would be unattainable using a regular writing instrument based on re-creating memorized shapes using fine motor control. Maybe the slow-down that comes with using a 'real' pen or pencil for writing would give you the right frame of mind to unlock your inspiration.
The short version: try writing in longhand, see if that helps!
I can type about as fast as I think, a speed that would be unattainable using a regular writing instrument based on re-creating memorized shapes using fine motor control. Maybe the slow-down that comes with using a 'real' pen or pencil for writing would give you the right frame of mind to unlock your inspiration.
The short version: try writing in longhand, see if that helps!
Thanks for the kind advice!
I'll give longhand a try :) It seems like a good idea.
Unfortunately, I've tried typing before. To give you an example, the question that I've just written took me about an hour to think and type through, while in the past something of that same length would have taken maybe about half an hour.
I'll give longhand a try :) It seems like a good idea.
Unfortunately, I've tried typing before. To give you an example, the question that I've just written took me about an hour to think and type through, while in the past something of that same length would have taken maybe about half an hour.
I have the exact same problem. For all practical purposes I am illetarate without a keyboard.
Advice you asked for:
Stop tweeting, blogging and emailing. Stop posting two-liner responses to difficult topic discussions.
Interact with people. Find a forum that thinks deeply, trades ideas and inspirations and fosters creativity. A writing group, a Mensa chapter, heck a ToastMasters club.
Even Hacker News is shallow by comparison with real human discourse. Here we get frequent thought-pieces but not a lot of literature, and certainly extremenly curtailed interaction compared with even a minute of real dialog with real people.
Stop tweeting, blogging and emailing. Stop posting two-liner responses to difficult topic discussions.
Interact with people. Find a forum that thinks deeply, trades ideas and inspirations and fosters creativity. A writing group, a Mensa chapter, heck a ToastMasters club.
Even Hacker News is shallow by comparison with real human discourse. Here we get frequent thought-pieces but not a lot of literature, and certainly extremenly curtailed interaction compared with even a minute of real dialog with real people.
Once on HN I read a blog post that said great writing only comes from facing ones deepest fears. It is really a brilliant way to sum it all up. Any other kind of writing is just dull.
It is only you who knows what it is that you fear the most. Everybody knows his own fears. Most people cannot face them. So if you want your ability back face the fear that is holding you back, challenge it, fight it, beat it and then write it.
It is only you who knows what it is that you fear the most. Everybody knows his own fears. Most people cannot face them. So if you want your ability back face the fear that is holding you back, challenge it, fight it, beat it and then write it.
Could it just be that your taste has become more refined? Watch this interview with Ira Glass: http://kottke.org/11/04/your-taste-is-why-your-own-work-disa...
I would look at Henry Miller's 11 commandments of writing. Online here http://www.listsofnote.com/2012/01/henry-millers-11-commandm...
Are you having any health issues?
Thanks for the concern, I don't think I suffer from any health issues. Are there any notable health problems that you know of which have such psychological effects?
I am not a doctor but... Cognitive issues could be stress/burnout related. Environment can also play a big part in cognitive issues. Mold illness causes cognitive/psychological issues and patients often describe the feeling as a "brain-fog". There is a relatively simple online test for mold issues found here http://www.survivingmold.com/diagnosis.
Sounds like there's an ego issue here. Not ego as in "I'm so great, look at me" but ego as a self identity that wasn't there before.
You're writing through a filter now (a personality you've constructed) whereas before you were writing in a selfless zen state.
So relax. Stop thinking so much and start training your mind through meditation. Read the teachings of Buddha. You will be alright. In fact, you'll be better than alright. This is just a bump in the road.
You're writing through a filter now (a personality you've constructed) whereas before you were writing in a selfless zen state.
So relax. Stop thinking so much and start training your mind through meditation. Read the teachings of Buddha. You will be alright. In fact, you'll be better than alright. This is just a bump in the road.
Btw, never take compliments like "brilliant" and "ingenious" too seriously. These words get bandied about much too often, and it's hardly ever appropriate.
I wouldn't contest that, and thanks for your advice.
But could you elaborate more on what you mean by a 'filter' as opposed to a 'selfless zen state'?
But could you elaborate more on what you mean by a 'filter' as opposed to a 'selfless zen state'?
Filter being your conscious mind.
Sometimes when I read or write, it's with a voice I haven't heard before. It doesn't sound authentic to me. That's my mind being loud, and it acts as a dirty filter that inhibits pure words from flowing freely.
Sometimes when I read or write, it's with a voice I haven't heard before. It doesn't sound authentic to me. That's my mind being loud, and it acts as a dirty filter that inhibits pure words from flowing freely.
Anyways, here's the current situation that I'm facing:
* I was able to write very well since young (ever since I begin learning English), and my writing ability was well above the average. My style of writing was considered original and unique to me.
* I was able to compose essays and stories very fluidly and improvise plots and arguments in an ad hoc manner. However, this ability has recently deteriorated, and I find myself cracking my head open even for simple arguments and story-lines.
* When I wrote in the past, my pen moved almost as fast as the sentence forming in my head. My pen just had a mind of it's own, and I could enter a 'flow' basically 100% all the time. Suddenly everything has become very conscious and artificial. Now, I have to pause and think even about the minutest details, such as sentence structure, words to use, alphabets in the words, etc.
* My vocabulary was wide and far-ranging, and I often utilized five to six different words, all synonyms, to re-iterate the same point in an argument. Now, however, my vocabulary has suddenly dropped to one or two simple words. The words used to come naturally, now I have to try to think of it, and most often I cannot.
* I used to create very original metaphors and figurative language which my peers and teachers often thought as brilliant and ingenious. I somehow cannot think of anything, AT ALL, now.
* I could sensitively appreciate Literature in the past, and often wrote critical essays after reading a novel or story. Also, I leisurely authored essays and short-stories in my free time; now, I find no motivation and lack the necessary 'spark' even if I wanted to. The habit has all of a sudden become very foreign and alien to me.
* I'm very distressed with the problem. I can't even list down all the symptoms that I have. I can't describe this psychological torment. It's like whenever I write now I feel it's a chore, whereas in the past it came all natural and flowingly. Thesauruses have become more common and regular in the past few months.
The problem has been a recent one, persisting for the past two months already. Here's some other background information for diagnosis: I'm currently 16, and am studying for a national exams at the end of the year. Most of my subjects are very logical and scientific – Physics, Biology, Chemistry, Elementary and Higher Maths – with a few humanities, like English Literature and Geography.
A large portion of the education is memory work, except maybe for Literature (and Mathematics, to an extent). My native tongue has been and still is English. The education system in my country is very competitive and quite stressful at times.
I'm very agitated by this problem and I want to get to the root of it, which is why I need your help. I want to know how it began and how I should overcome it. I don't know if it's caused by stress, depression or maybe just some other ordinary problem.
I'd like to express my gratitude and thanks to whoever offering their help. Writing has always been my passion and a spirited endeavor for me, and I really don't want to see it just disappear overnight. I've been feeling really down these few weeks because of this.
Thanks. :)