Ask HN: Is Your Child Lonely?
Hi hive, I'm doing a survey on the social experiences of preK-12th grade children in different learning environments (homeschool, school (public and private), remote school (public and private). I think there are a lot of misconceptions of what social experiences are like in different environments, but not a lot of good data on the topic. I'd really appreciate if any parents of PreK-12th grade kids could fill out my survey. For full transparency, I run a company that helps families interested in designing their child's education as a replacement or supplement to traditional school. So, I fully support homeschooling as an option for many families and have witnessed it to be very social. My plan for this research is to use it to inform families considering homeschooling about what their child's social life might look like. I may also release the data I collect to some media outlets. That said, I'm a teacher myself, I love research, and am obsessed with trying to maintain as much neutrality as possible and am doing my best to not bring my own biases to analyzing results. I also do not feel that homeschool is the best choice for everyone or that school is the best choice for everyone. Children thrive in different environments and there are a lot of factors in what makes one choice better for a child than another. Thanks very much for taking the time to help me learn more about this topic. The link is posted in the comments.
11 comments
Oh boy. Before anyone goes too far believing this paid consultant, you should really be surveying homeschooled children who are now adults.
I say that because I'm a homeschooled child who is now an adult. From my immersion and circle of friends who were also homeschooled, these are my takeaways:
Parents are untrustworthy proxies for their children's experiences. If you surveyed parents, they would all say that they kept their child socialized through homeschool groups. If you surveyed the children, they would strongly disagree. The point made in the ask HN "and have witnessed it to be very social" is the same one every homeschooling parent I've ever met makes, and pretty much every homeschooling child disagrees with. (And I've met a lot of homeschooling parents!)
An astonishing number of homeschooled acquaintances I know have estranged themselves from their parents, and would cite their decision to homeschool as a factor in that decision (> 50%, n=~25.) Of the 5 children in my family, 4 cite homeschooling as a lingering negative that affects their social relationships to this day. 3 have forgiven my parents for it. The others still limit contact with them. (Siblings are all around their 30s.)
Children who are still school aged are incredibly unwilling to insinuate that homeschooling doesn't work for fear of the consequences. If you see your parents devote their time to homeschooling you and are constantly saying stuff like "You'd think that homeschooling isn't social, but look! We found 5 other weird families that our children only pretend to like because they're desperate for a peer group, and they get along OK!" you would also be hesitant to say to your parents that they approach they've dedicated their life to makes you lonely.
This is a decision, that, if you mess it up, you really mess it up. Be cautious interpreting a study that only asks parents their opinions, given by a consultant with a self-admitted homeschooling bias.
I say that because I'm a homeschooled child who is now an adult. From my immersion and circle of friends who were also homeschooled, these are my takeaways:
Parents are untrustworthy proxies for their children's experiences. If you surveyed parents, they would all say that they kept their child socialized through homeschool groups. If you surveyed the children, they would strongly disagree. The point made in the ask HN "and have witnessed it to be very social" is the same one every homeschooling parent I've ever met makes, and pretty much every homeschooling child disagrees with. (And I've met a lot of homeschooling parents!)
An astonishing number of homeschooled acquaintances I know have estranged themselves from their parents, and would cite their decision to homeschool as a factor in that decision (> 50%, n=~25.) Of the 5 children in my family, 4 cite homeschooling as a lingering negative that affects their social relationships to this day. 3 have forgiven my parents for it. The others still limit contact with them. (Siblings are all around their 30s.)
Children who are still school aged are incredibly unwilling to insinuate that homeschooling doesn't work for fear of the consequences. If you see your parents devote their time to homeschooling you and are constantly saying stuff like "You'd think that homeschooling isn't social, but look! We found 5 other weird families that our children only pretend to like because they're desperate for a peer group, and they get along OK!" you would also be hesitant to say to your parents that they approach they've dedicated their life to makes you lonely.
This is a decision, that, if you mess it up, you really mess it up. Be cautious interpreting a study that only asks parents their opinions, given by a consultant with a self-admitted homeschooling bias.
+1 to this. I was homeschooled K-8, and the loneliness I experienced then puts a significant strain on my relationship with my parents to this day.
I think I agree with the parent comment when I say that homeschooling seems to be looking for pennies of potential academic advantage in front of the steamroller of serious maladjustment.
I think I agree with the parent comment when I say that homeschooling seems to be looking for pennies of potential academic advantage in front of the steamroller of serious maladjustment.
Do you think you have also gained something from that loneliness? Better abilities for introspection, for example, or some particular thinking patterns that other people seem to lack?
Great question. I think the most noticeable impact on my personality is a strong fear of being alone, which has led to me sometimes prioritizing my relationships over personal achievements. I regretted this impulse when I was younger, but I have come to appreciate it now.
This also gave me a “growth mindset” at an early age. I realized in ~9th grade that I had no idea how to hold a conversation with someone, which forced me to view my social skills as something dynamic which could be improved. People are now very surprised to hear I was homeschooled, so I think my efforts to improve my communication skills have born fruit.
I can only speculate on how much the rest of my current personality was influenced by that experience; either directly, or from secondary effects like reading a lot (in place of socializing) at an early age.
This also gave me a “growth mindset” at an early age. I realized in ~9th grade that I had no idea how to hold a conversation with someone, which forced me to view my social skills as something dynamic which could be improved. People are now very surprised to hear I was homeschooled, so I think my efforts to improve my communication skills have born fruit.
I can only speculate on how much the rest of my current personality was influenced by that experience; either directly, or from secondary effects like reading a lot (in place of socializing) at an early age.
That all said, these are potential positive consequences, observed in retrospect, from what was an extended adverse and painful event. I have been very fortunate with my outcome, but nearly all of my friends and family members who were homeschooled were have had serious issues, ranging from mild maladjustment to suicide.
If anyone is seriously considering homeschooling and wants to hear a contrary opinion, please feel free to send me an email :)
If anyone is seriously considering homeschooling and wants to hear a contrary opinion, please feel free to send me an email :)
Agreed, but it’s also not unusual for children to blame early life experiences for some challenge they face later on.
I had a great upbringing but if you asked my older sister it was terrible and of course our parents are too blame.
I had a great upbringing but if you asked my older sister it was terrible and of course our parents are too blame.
+1 to this. My wife was homeschooled her entire K-12 education and I was homeschooled for two grades. I did not have a favorable experience homeschooling and often wondered if it was just my particular family. My wife's more extensive experience (along with several friends) confirms the point. I've never met a homeschooled kid who thought that it was sufficient to provide the same level of social and emotional intelligence that they later experienced in the workforce from their public school peers.
There have been quite a few times in my life that I’ve met someone, talked to them, thought “I wonder if they were homeschooled,” and later had that thought confirmed.
As far as social skills go there’s no substitute for going through the wringer that is school. You deal with so much on a daily basis - forming new friendships, maintaining old ones, crushes, rejection, doing stupid things you’ll regret forever, personal social triumphs…
It’s all a bit much, but in a culture where almost everyone has done it the few that didn’t stand out.
As far as social skills go there’s no substitute for going through the wringer that is school. You deal with so much on a daily basis - forming new friendships, maintaining old ones, crushes, rejection, doing stupid things you’ll regret forever, personal social triumphs…
It’s all a bit much, but in a culture where almost everyone has done it the few that didn’t stand out.
Does homeschooling even have a fair shot at providing the same academic level?
That question makes no sense. There is as much variance in homeschooling as there is in schools.
This statement came up on Reddit last week, arguing that teaching has become glorified babysitting and the bullying and social maladjustment from schools is demanding alternatives:
https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/rjl8fo/im_a_teach...
Here's one anecdote:
This is my first year teaching. My wife and I work at the same school. It literally drove her to a mental breakdown 8 days after our wedding. She’s turned in her notice.
This year, I have been hit 2x by students, had my credit and debit card stolen (by students), been told to go fuck myself (ok, this is all by students), been spit at, called a bitch, etc. Half my students don’t bother turning in anything at all, and a record 10/80 of my students were suspended in ONE WEEK because they were fighting. I have had a student bring a gun to school, one student bring drugs with the intent to distribute, and one student have premeditated and intentional sex in a bathroom, who upon getting caught tried to claim it was rape (this was disproven due to her confessing things via text and to multiple students, we actually believed her at first).
I teach middle school. This isn’t normal. I love when I get to teach, but this year makes me hate my job. I know I should stick it out since I enjoy teaching, but how the hell do I keep doing this?
This statement came up on Reddit last week, arguing that teaching has become glorified babysitting and the bullying and social maladjustment from schools is demanding alternatives:
https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/rjl8fo/im_a_teach...
Here's one anecdote:
This is my first year teaching. My wife and I work at the same school. It literally drove her to a mental breakdown 8 days after our wedding. She’s turned in her notice.
This year, I have been hit 2x by students, had my credit and debit card stolen (by students), been told to go fuck myself (ok, this is all by students), been spit at, called a bitch, etc. Half my students don’t bother turning in anything at all, and a record 10/80 of my students were suspended in ONE WEEK because they were fighting. I have had a student bring a gun to school, one student bring drugs with the intent to distribute, and one student have premeditated and intentional sex in a bathroom, who upon getting caught tried to claim it was rape (this was disproven due to her confessing things via text and to multiple students, we actually believed her at first).
I teach middle school. This isn’t normal. I love when I get to teach, but this year makes me hate my job. I know I should stick it out since I enjoy teaching, but how the hell do I keep doing this?
Academic absolutely but social hell no
That's a good idea! But where did you get the idea that I'm a "consultant?" Also, a big blocker to families choosing alternative education is fear that their children won't have positive social experiences, so it's helpful to get social proof that other parents in their situation are having positive social experiences.
You said you were a consultant in your initial introduction, at least that's what I concluded as well.
As someone who had a very diverse primary education including 6 years of homeschooling, I can tell you OP here is very on the money. Without going anonymous I won't go into much further anecdote, but I can tell they actually experienced the lifestyle.
Maybe there are some "well adjusted and normal" home school groups out there, but I never encountered one. When you talk to these parents you will only get the social proof they want to hear - the parents are absolutely having positive social experiences. Perhaps delusionally so. Especially the types of folks drawn to home schooling to begin with.
I'm not saying it can't be done - but that blocker should be big because it's often simply talked around and the parents saying their kids were well-socialized often are saying it only from their perspective. I too, have seen much more estrangement from parents from my home schooled vs. other friends and it's not remotely close.
I think it's primarily a form of self-selection. Perhaps the pool of parents selecting to homeschool after COVID has changed considerably since prior to it, but I'm skeptical. It takes an exceedingly exceptional and dedicated parent (and probably child) for this to work out in the end. There are anecdotes out there, but they typically to be of the "very upper class" kind where a kid is exposed to university level educators at a very young age.
As someone who had a very diverse primary education including 6 years of homeschooling, I can tell you OP here is very on the money. Without going anonymous I won't go into much further anecdote, but I can tell they actually experienced the lifestyle.
Maybe there are some "well adjusted and normal" home school groups out there, but I never encountered one. When you talk to these parents you will only get the social proof they want to hear - the parents are absolutely having positive social experiences. Perhaps delusionally so. Especially the types of folks drawn to home schooling to begin with.
I'm not saying it can't be done - but that blocker should be big because it's often simply talked around and the parents saying their kids were well-socialized often are saying it only from their perspective. I too, have seen much more estrangement from parents from my home schooled vs. other friends and it's not remotely close.
I think it's primarily a form of self-selection. Perhaps the pool of parents selecting to homeschool after COVID has changed considerably since prior to it, but I'm skeptical. It takes an exceedingly exceptional and dedicated parent (and probably child) for this to work out in the end. There are anecdotes out there, but they typically to be of the "very upper class" kind where a kid is exposed to university level educators at a very young age.
I described you as a consultant because your business involves consulting families who are looking for schooling options.
"I run a company that helps families interested in designing their child's education as a replacement or supplement to traditional school."
"I run a company that helps families interested in designing their child's education as a replacement or supplement to traditional school."
I think the parent was talking about themselves being a "paid consultant", not the OP
It's a really interesting idea to survey teens or kids. One of the challenges with homeschooling is that parents are often the decision makers, but kids are the users. I think that parents often need social proof to make decisions, so seeing what their peers think might help them make a better informed decisions. So I find it helpful to survey parents and compare their experiences, since they're the ones (at least in younger ages) who will decide. I imagine surveying kids would have some legal issues involved, and I'd probably have to get parent permission, which might impact the results as well. And depending on the ages of the children, different questions would be necessary to get at accurate data. I definitely need to think about this further. Thanks so much for taking the time for the feedback. Though again, not a paid consultant:) You can check out my projects here: modulo.app, schoolclosures.org, masteryhour.org
If the parents all say the same thing, then you will have social proof, but it will be wrong.
You must, regardless of the hurdles, find a way to survey children or graduated children. When parents find out that their child was not socialized, despite their strong belief to the contrary, they will be left with children who no longer wish to be around them.
You can easily design a study to steer people to homeschooling, by only asking the parents. They have too much invested in being alternative education experts and it's hard to admit that you played around and messed up with how you schooled your children. If homeschooling turn out ok, the upside is that a child will have a maybe slightly better educational experience. If homeschooling turns out to not be ok, the downside is that you will permanently damage parent-child relationships.
You're playing with fire by even attempting this study, the way you have it set up right now.
You must, regardless of the hurdles, find a way to survey children or graduated children. When parents find out that their child was not socialized, despite their strong belief to the contrary, they will be left with children who no longer wish to be around them.
You can easily design a study to steer people to homeschooling, by only asking the parents. They have too much invested in being alternative education experts and it's hard to admit that you played around and messed up with how you schooled your children. If homeschooling turn out ok, the upside is that a child will have a maybe slightly better educational experience. If homeschooling turns out to not be ok, the downside is that you will permanently damage parent-child relationships.
You're playing with fire by even attempting this study, the way you have it set up right now.
Yes, I was never homeschooled, but my first reaction to this was "why are you surveying the parents and not the kids"?
As a kid my parents thought I was lonely / lacking friends. In reality, the fact that this was their perception was really embarrassing for me so I generally wouldn't hang out with friends around the house. Please, if you're parents don't badger kids about their friends, obviously make sure they aren't druggy skaters - encourage social activity / talking to strangers, hostesses etc. The one thing I wish my parents did was force me to make social skills at a young age.
That's a really good point. Things change so much when you're a teen.
Here is the link to the survey. Thank you! https://forms.gle/VcjjnsKTS95nbNo59
My neighbors home school. The kids seem a little lonely when the other kids are at school, but we live in a neighborhood packed with kids (three families each with three kids within a 50 foot stretch of road) do afternoons and weekends have lots of social activities. (By that I mean running around in the street.)
Your survey seems to assume that all of one's children are pursuing the same schooling approach, which seems a fundamental flaw in your surveying methodology.
Nice handle.
Survey has some logic issues from lumping all children together in questions:
* Parents with multiple children don't necessarily have them all in the same school/homeschool situation.
* One child might be lonely and another child not.
* Parents with multiple children don't necessarily have them all in the same school/homeschool situation.
* One child might be lonely and another child not.
Another problem with the methodology of this survey is that it seems to assume that friends, or lack thereof, stem from the type of education children are receiving. In fact, the issue has been the Covid lockdown/distancing, plus the resulting parental restrictions on the freedom of children to socialize. So the main cause of loneliness, as far as I'm concerned, is government policy around public health.
Three years ago, at 13, my daughter begged to be homeschooled, and so we moved to Idaho specifically because of its advanced homeschool options. It allows her to pick and choose how she does classes, so she takes a couple of classes at the local school each year (usually accelerated math and an AP subject). This allows her to meet other kids her age and join clubs, etc. She's introverted so it was never that important to her and I can honestly say that she's a thousand times happier since we started it.
For the subjects she studies at home, she's been able to go at her own, faster pace and do in-depth projects, like writing an 80,000 word novel for English, which made learning both fun and meaningful. At the end of last year she already had five APs, all with 5, and she recently sat for the SAT and got a 1570. I think every child is different, but for mine, homeschool has simply been incredibly good for her, and loneliness wasn't a big factor.
For the subjects she studies at home, she's been able to go at her own, faster pace and do in-depth projects, like writing an 80,000 word novel for English, which made learning both fun and meaningful. At the end of last year she already had five APs, all with 5, and she recently sat for the SAT and got a 1570. I think every child is different, but for mine, homeschool has simply been incredibly good for her, and loneliness wasn't a big factor.
When she begged to be homeschooled, what were her reasons? Were they more about wanting academic acceleration or having problems with the social environment at school?
Both. She wanted the academic acceleration but she also wasn't incredibly happy with the social environment either. The teachers would sometimes make her partner with kids that needed help or seat disruptive kids next to her to even them out; in other words, instead of fostering her development, using her to foster others.
One of our concerns would be the diminished interaction with kids her age but then we thought about our own high school experiences and realized she probably wouldn't be missing anything. I had a great time at university but high school? That was just a nightmare.
One of our concerns would be the diminished interaction with kids her age but then we thought about our own high school experiences and realized she probably wouldn't be missing anything. I had a great time at university but high school? That was just a nightmare.
This happened to me too. I got my school board to pass an alternative study option for me (which students are still using now 20 years later) but ultimately dropped out (and later dropped out of college). I may have missed out on some socialization and networking, but I'm doing fine and glad I listened to myself.
For some of us, public school is the steamroller.
Thanks for listening to and taking care of your daughter like this.
For some of us, public school is the steamroller.
Thanks for listening to and taking care of your daughter like this.
Thanks for saying that.
Awesome. This is what I've observed as well.
I wanted to post this since I see a lot of resistance to homeschool as an option. That said, I need to add as a caveat that my child's experience is almost certainly an outlier.
I believe in homeschooling and that it should be offered as an alternative, especially where children can take some subjects at school. This gets them social exposure but allows them to pick and choose their social involvement level.
Further, it works best when it is 1) each year elected by the child, 2) the child is a natural autodidact and has good self-starting and organizational skills, and 3) there is someone dedicated to nurturing this. There's no one-size-fits-all and this is true nowhere more than in education.
I believe in homeschooling and that it should be offered as an alternative, especially where children can take some subjects at school. This gets them social exposure but allows them to pick and choose their social involvement level.
Further, it works best when it is 1) each year elected by the child, 2) the child is a natural autodidact and has good self-starting and organizational skills, and 3) there is someone dedicated to nurturing this. There's no one-size-fits-all and this is true nowhere more than in education.
The timing of this sample would not yield typical data for my family. While COVID tanked our recreation and social life, schooling families report similar levels of disruption and isolation. In some ways, as home-based learners, we are well-situated for learner directed and dis-intermediated study. We also Unschool, which would be a more useful term for our data enumeration.
I realize everyone is a critic, and I work in ed tech so I love what you're doing here. I'm not a professional statistician, but I did write surveys professionally for a few years, so I feel comfortable talking about some of the difficulties of writing good surveys. It's impossible to give much advice without knowing the goals of the survey and what you're trying to measure, but with that being said, I do have some comments and some concern about the structure of this survey.
Others have mentioned the problem of grouping children together into the same sentiment, so I won't comment on that. But I feel this survey suffers from some priming and conformity bias issues.
The survey is very "soft" in the sense of asking opinion questions, which can vary wildly with the respondent's mood, time of day, time of year (just had Christmas together as a family and everything's good), etc etc. A single survey at a point in time has basically no value, which is why I generally disregard surveys I see in the media. Surveys really get most of their value through asking the same questions repeatedly at different points in time so you can "average out" a lot of that bias. But in order to have results with any legitimacy, you almost need to split each question that you actually want to ask out into several different questions, some of which have numbers attached to them.
For example, the question "Does your child/children have friends (not including members of their immediate household)?":
A parent is more inclined to affirm their biases and assuage any guilt they might have over their child's loneliness than to help you get accurate survey data. It also depends on what a parent considers a friend versus what the child might consider a friend (someone to hang out with vs someone they feel a real connection with and are comfortable sharing things with, for example). I'm guessing you'd get very different answers if you asked the child the same question.
I can't imagine a parent is very willing to say their child has no friends at all, but you might split the "core" question out into multiple different questions - "how many close friends does your child have," "how many acquaintances," etc, with answers in different brackets (1 or fewer, etc). And then ask the general sentiment question after. The advantage of this is that you actually have something to compare across time. If you only have sentiment questions, it's almost impossible to know what the respondent has in mind for a "friend" when they answer the question.
I have the same feedback for the "How often does your child or children complain of feeling lonely or not having enough friends?" question. Different personalities will complain more or less, but that doesn't indicate how lonely a child actually feels.
A minor point, but without randomizing the question order or randomly flipping the answer options (ordering from negative sentiment to positive sentiment instead of positive to negative), you're very prone to influencing answers by "leading" the respondent to certain answers. You'd be surprised how much of a difference this makes.
Writing good surveys is very difficult, but you might pull up a list of common survey biases and run each question through the list. My 2c.
Others have mentioned the problem of grouping children together into the same sentiment, so I won't comment on that. But I feel this survey suffers from some priming and conformity bias issues.
The survey is very "soft" in the sense of asking opinion questions, which can vary wildly with the respondent's mood, time of day, time of year (just had Christmas together as a family and everything's good), etc etc. A single survey at a point in time has basically no value, which is why I generally disregard surveys I see in the media. Surveys really get most of their value through asking the same questions repeatedly at different points in time so you can "average out" a lot of that bias. But in order to have results with any legitimacy, you almost need to split each question that you actually want to ask out into several different questions, some of which have numbers attached to them.
For example, the question "Does your child/children have friends (not including members of their immediate household)?":
A parent is more inclined to affirm their biases and assuage any guilt they might have over their child's loneliness than to help you get accurate survey data. It also depends on what a parent considers a friend versus what the child might consider a friend (someone to hang out with vs someone they feel a real connection with and are comfortable sharing things with, for example). I'm guessing you'd get very different answers if you asked the child the same question.
I can't imagine a parent is very willing to say their child has no friends at all, but you might split the "core" question out into multiple different questions - "how many close friends does your child have," "how many acquaintances," etc, with answers in different brackets (1 or fewer, etc). And then ask the general sentiment question after. The advantage of this is that you actually have something to compare across time. If you only have sentiment questions, it's almost impossible to know what the respondent has in mind for a "friend" when they answer the question.
I have the same feedback for the "How often does your child or children complain of feeling lonely or not having enough friends?" question. Different personalities will complain more or less, but that doesn't indicate how lonely a child actually feels.
A minor point, but without randomizing the question order or randomly flipping the answer options (ordering from negative sentiment to positive sentiment instead of positive to negative), you're very prone to influencing answers by "leading" the respondent to certain answers. You'd be surprised how much of a difference this makes.
Writing good surveys is very difficult, but you might pull up a list of common survey biases and run each question through the list. My 2c.
This is such helpful feedback. Wow. I really appreciate the time you took to compile this - and you clearly have much more extensive experience in the field than me. If possible, would you be willing to continue the conversation with me and help me develop a survey that could lead to more accurate results? I think this information is important for people to have. If you'd like to speak further, my email is manisha[at]modulo[dot]app Either way, this gives me a lot to think about and I really appreciate your generosity in sharing it in such an eloquent and respectful manner.
Thank you for the kind words. I agree, it is important info. I'm a bit overwhelmed with things right now and don't have the time to help much, but I do have 2 points you can feel free to take or leave.
The first is that when you're asking emotionally charged questions (as anything involving kids' happiness is), it can be a good idea to find ways to make it feel "okay" for someone to give a socially unacceptable answer. One common way is to apply some pressure for not telling the truth. For example, you could start by asking "does your child have any close friends," and then follow it up with, "if your answer was yes, how many close friends do they have?" It's sort of like being caught in a lie in real life - once people start asking follow-up questions, the pressure of keeping up the lie builds. In a survey, no one is watching you, so if you can find a way to make the sub-conscious pressure of not being totally truthful higher than the pressure of admitting something difficult, people are more inclined to revert their choices and give the truth. But this doesn't always work.
The second part is to look at some popular survey makers' websites where they take common questions and re-word them in better ways. For example, https://www.medallia.com/wp-content/uploads/pdf/resources/Me...
The first is that when you're asking emotionally charged questions (as anything involving kids' happiness is), it can be a good idea to find ways to make it feel "okay" for someone to give a socially unacceptable answer. One common way is to apply some pressure for not telling the truth. For example, you could start by asking "does your child have any close friends," and then follow it up with, "if your answer was yes, how many close friends do they have?" It's sort of like being caught in a lie in real life - once people start asking follow-up questions, the pressure of keeping up the lie builds. In a survey, no one is watching you, so if you can find a way to make the sub-conscious pressure of not being totally truthful higher than the pressure of admitting something difficult, people are more inclined to revert their choices and give the truth. But this doesn't always work.
The second part is to look at some popular survey makers' websites where they take common questions and re-word them in better ways. For example, https://www.medallia.com/wp-content/uploads/pdf/resources/Me...
My children are sufficiently distinct as to need different answers. Key feedback: parents often don’t choose same approach for different kids.